Red Ribbon ties Me to You
by KuroiWinter
Summary: What would you do if the person who'd become your world was taken away from you forever, and the guy you thought hated you, loved you more than anything? But what if that was wrong and while everyone was living in reality, you were living in a dream . . .
1. Prologue: Beginnings of a Story

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of the characters or setting which Tite Kubo created.

Setting: AU, in other words, there are no shinigami or Hollows, just slightly different from normal people who lead slightly different from average lives. Actually, wait . . . if you count games played by a trio of self-proclaimed 'shinigami' fighting with rulers, then yes, there are 'Hollows' and 'katanas'.

Note: The story will mainly be told from Kuchiki Rukia's perspective, although it's not in first person, however some chapters might told by Kurosaki Ichigo, or even Ukitake Jushiro. We'll see . . .

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><p><em>Red Ribbon ties Me to You<em>

_Prologue: Beginnings of a Story_

_She was in a perfect white room, the pale colour only replaced occasionally by a faded, icy blue. The air was fresh and crisp, and it smelled faintly of clean snow. Looking around, she couldn't work out why she should be in such a lovely and tranquil place. Indigo eyes scanned her surroundings, but apart from the fact that nothing was adding up, all she could see was tasteful furniture, and simple but fine decorations._

_'Kuchiki Rukia,'_

_The sudden sound made the petite teenager turn around, lightly confused eyes falling on a beautiful looking young woman with a kind, but strangely sorrowful, smile on her perfect lips. Soft lavender hair fell in smooth straight lines beside her pale face, and dark blue eyes surveyed Rukia carefully. As the graceful woman walked forwards, the fabric of her kimono making little noise, despite the serene quiet, the teenager couldn't help but feel a little worried that she mightn't be wearing something appropriate. But then, looking down at herself, she realised she was wearing a traditional kimono too, and a blood red ribbon wrapped around her fingers and up her right arm._

_'Who are you? And where is this?' Rukia wondered how she'd gotten there without realising it. She couldn't remember why she would be in such a place at all, or why she'd be wearing such an outfit._

_'I'm . . . someone you can talk to,' strangely enough, despite the woman's words, she didn't seem to be like a psychiatrist. There was nothing clinical about the way she spoke, or the soft look in her eyes . . . it seemed like she really did care._

_Rukia found herself laughing lightly, 'That's good then, I need someone to talk to,'_

_It was true, there were so many thoughts in her head that she somehow knew would only settle if she spoke them aloud, shared them with someone else apart from herself._

_'Speak you mind,' the woman settled down on the chair opposite Rukia, folding her hands neatly before her, and gazing tranquilly at the black haired teenager, 'Do not withhold anything, no matter how sad, or angry the feelings you have might be. You can only move on once these thoughts have been dealt with,'_

_Indigo eyes sparkling with a mixture of hidden tears and more laughter, Rukia straightened, 'Did you know . . . love is such a strange thing. It holds the unwary the closest, and plays with people's thoughts. Fate, also, is a mischievous thing. I do not think I would have such experiences if it weren't for those two things,' she sighed slightly, still in an amused way, 'So . . .' she raised a pale hand and touched her head lightly, 'What would you do if the person who'd become your world, was taken away from you forever, and the person you thought hated you with everything he had, loved you more than anything else? But what if that was all wrong anyway? And you'd been living in a dream ever since you were separated from reality?'_

_The woman's delicate brow creased slightly, 'You must have experience with such things,'_

_'That's right. I can recall more now, things are straightening out. Please . . . if you'll listen, I'll tell you my story. About how I lost something, found something else, and then . . .' Rukia's eyes glazed over slightly, and a faint pain shot through her head, 'And then . . . how I lost,' her voice was breaking, 'Lost-,'_

_'Just start from the beginning,' taking the teenager's attention from what she was clearly unable to say without causing herself tragic pain, the lavender haired woman smiled softly and reached out to touch Rukia's forehead lightly, 'The words will come when they are meant to,'_

_'Okay,' closing her eyes again, Rukia took a deep breath, 'I'll start from the beginning . . . with my own introduction,'_

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><p>I am Kuchiki Rukia, a seventeen year old girl living in Karakura Town, Japan. For the last six years, I have resided in the Kuchiki Mansion, an archetypal series of buildings on the Kuchiki Estate, a vast property near the southern edges of the town. I live in the second main house with Ukitake Jushiro, the man who is generally in charge of me, although occasionally I return to the main house to visit my deceased sister, Hisana's, husband Kuchiki Byakuya, who is primarily responsible for my care.<p>

Originally, when I was very young, I lived in an orphanage in Tokyo. The only person I really knew there was Abarai Renji, and we were good friends. Eventually, after a few years, we were both sent to a boarding school, where we were separated into different grades due to the fact that Renji was, _is_, older than me. During my time there, I was approached by Kuchiki Byakuya, and adopted into his family, although at the time I didn't know it was because my sister had asked him to find me, while on her death bed, as she'd been the one to leave me at the orphanage so many years before. Renji urged me to go, and I did, but it would be a long time before I was able to get in contact with him again.

Anyway, when I moved to Karakura, and first set foot inside the Estate, I was nervous and wary of everything. I met Ukitake on that first day, and he was so kind that I can remember relaxing just a bit. Then he introduced me to his ward, Shiba Kaien, a boy just a few years older than me, whose family had been killed in a house fire some years earlier. He said we were to be privately tutored together, as he was unable to do so himself because of his ill health.

Kaien was such an easy person to get to know, and half the time he was more help than some of the tutors that came over. He was also very positive, although suitably critical, when it came to my artwork, and he'd always sit still long enough for me to paint him the way I wanted, only to change poses halfway through. That was always a problem, but it didn't stop me making up pictures that would take life under the soft bristles of my brush.

I was always so happy and ready to accompany him on whatever crazy scheme he'd thought up. Whether it was to chase my Nii-sama, Byakuya's koi, or just skip tutoring and run off into the grounds to the places where no one could find us, and have picnics.

Apart from school and fun, we also helped to care for Ukitake when he got sick, which was often, and he'd always thank us both with real sincerity, saying that together we made a great team.

Consequently, when I was fifteen and a half, and Kaien had finished his studies, he was going to leave for a while in order to continue his schooling. Going to the airport with Ukitake was one of the hardest things I've ever done, and I think I even cried a bit. He _was _going away for quite a long time, after all, but he said he'd return for holidays.

After that, well, I can't remember that time properly, but the next thing I knew, I was seventeen and being sent to the local high school. Karakura High School, to be exact.

And, as you might have guessed, that's where this tale really begins . . . with a teenage girl waiting for her childhood friend to return, and trying to recall the year and a half that, for her, is filled only with a painful, empty blackness . . .

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><p>Author's Note:<p>

This story, along with Blade of Rain, rests in uncertainty. I'm not sure which one I should focus on writing, so if you'd let me know what you think, then I might be able to concentrate better.

Also, updating might be really slow, as I haven't really started either story apart for the prologues. And either one might be dropped if I don't have suitable inspiration to continue, or if I think the plot has gone completely wrong . . .

So I'm sorry if one of them gets halfway finished and then is discontinued, although I doubt _Red Ribbon ties Me to You_ will be . . . just a thought.

Anyhow, thank you for reading, and I hope you'll continue to do so


	2. Chapter 1: First Impressions

_Chapter 1: First Impressions_

Inside a classroom situated on one of the higher levels of Karakura High School, the students waited while their teacher organised herself, chatting amongst themselves. It was the start of a new week, a new term, a new _year_, and no one was sure if they wanted the class to actually start or not.

'Everyone!' Ochi Misato, a cheerful and generally rather accepting woman, spun around and grinned ferociously at her class, 'Welcome back to school for another exciting and exam filled year!' a few people couldn't hold in their groans, 'Anyhow, today we've also got a new student!' turning to the door, she beckoned the girl standing there forward, 'Hello, I'm your teacher, it's nice to meet you. Please write your name on the board,'

_Kuchiki Rukia_

The characters were fluid and each seemed like its own piece of artwork. Somehow, almost everyone in the classroom could tell that this petite girl was, or had once been, an artist. And, most probably, a very talented one at that.

'Alrighty,' Misato adjusted her glasses and smiled again, 'Please take a seat,' returning her attention to the whole group of students, she continued, 'If everyone will take note that this will be Kuchiki's first time attending a regular school, I'm sure we'll all be grateful. Prior to today, she's been tutored privately at her family home, so do your best to make her feel welcome,' light seemed to flash across her glasses, 'Got it?'

'Yes!' although the reply was strong, not many of the students were actually too keen to start a conversation with the new girl. After all, her expression was carefully black and her eyes held a barely concealed glare. It looked like she wasn't so happy to be where she was at all.

Sitting down, Rukia swallowed her sigh, and silently resolved to live through this. It would have been much easier if Kaien was in her grade, and had been sent to school with her, but instead he was still off studying in Tokyo, having probably returned from Kyoto by now, and he hadn't visited once. Still, she thought she could remember that he was coming back to Karakura soon, and she could hardly wait.

Whose idea it had been to make her go to a regular school, she didn't know, but it wasn't looking to be the most enjoyable of experiences. Rukia's keen eyes had already noticed the odd looks she was receiving, so it wasn't like she was exactly welcomed with open arms.

Not concentrating on what her new teacher was saying at all, as she'd already covered the topic a while ago, Rukia began to scribble idly on the edge of her notebook. She'd often considered taking up art as a hobby, but her brother's calligraphy lessons, and Ukitake's bonsai and tea ceremony lessons took up most of her spare time. It was interesting though, especially considering that Byakuya was a calligraphy master, and Ukitake knew practically everything there was to know about tea. The bonsai, on the other hand, was a losing battle, because neither of them had the talent in turning the miniature trees into works of art at all. Rukia had often contemplated asking her Nii-sama if he was any good at bonsai, because then he might've been able to teach both her _and_ Ukitake, but he was always so busy managing the multi-national business he ran, called the Sixth Division, that she didn't even speak to him unless it was absolutely necessary.

Ukitake, Kaien and Rukia, herself, had once made up a kind of club, or gang, that they called the Thirteenth Division, a play on Byakuya's company name, and also because Rukia had been thirteen at the time. But since Ukitake was in poor health, and Kaien and Rukia were often studying, the whole thing was more like a name with nothing behind it, but they still had fun doing 'secret stuff'. That 'stuff' being mainly silly things like fighting each other with rulers and pretending they were wickedly sharp katanas, or going scouting to find evil demons called Hollows. They mightn't have been the most original ideas, but the three of them, or more realistically, Kaien and Rukia, had had some of the best times playing 'shinigami'. Kaien was particularly good at pretending to die dramatically because he'd been 'stabbed', and Rukia had the perfect expression needed to act the condemned prisoner, doomed to die at the hands of a ruthless Society because of a crime she had hardly committed.

_They __were __good __times, _Rukia sighed deeply, ignoring the additional stares she received, _When __Ukitake __was __a __little __healthier, __Kaien __was __around, __and __I __could __smile __easier._

The teenager tried to recall if her white haired 'second guardian' had mentioned exactly when Kaien was supposed to be returning. It was one of those topics that would remain on her mind for hours, taking up every bit of her concentration as she remembered the things she'd done with Ukitake and his mischievous ward. Those thoughts generally led to thinking about either more Kaien, or her Nii-sama, Kuchiki Byakuya.

_Sometimes, __I __wonder __just __how __happy __he __is __to __manage __that __business __of __his, _Rukia turned to stare out the window and at the sky, absently filling the answers on the sheet she'd been handed at the same time, _Because __I __can__'__t __read __his __emotions __at __all._

A movement caught the corner of her eye, and she turned a little further to watch a boy with the brightest orange hair that she thought she'd ever seen, shoot a fierce glare at her. His scowl was dark, and his whole body posture showed just how much he detested being where he was. Strangely enough, it seemed to Rukia almost as if it was only _her _that was causing his irritation. And that was confusing, as she'd never met anyone in this classroom before, having generally always remained on the Kuchiki Estate's grounds.

Not wanting someone who kind of looked like a juvenile delinquent to worsen her already bad day, the petite girl turned fully and sent back her own death glare, one which she hoped would portray her disgust of such ill-mannered human beings. It seemed to work, because whoever the orange haired jerk was, he twisted his body and faced out the window, right beside his desk.

_What __the __hell __is __his __problem? _Rukia was in a very dark and dangerous mood now, _Does __he __have __a __hatred __of __new __students, __girls, __black __haired __and __violet __eyed __people __. __. __._

She couldn't figure out why she needed to get glared at. It wasn't like she was trying to get people to notice her, more like she was glaring at them, she wasn't being overly know-it-all, considering the fact that she was just writing down her answers and hadn't verbally responded to any of the teacher's questions at all, and, all in all, she really _didn__'__t __want __to __be __there_. Her first impressions of this class were that they were either strange, smart, overly enthusiastic, normal, whatever 'normal' was, or just _rude_.

'Right!' all of a sudden, Misato's voice brought the brooding teenager back to the present, 'Get out of here in five minutes or you can stay inside for lunch,'

The rush of people slamming back their chairs and zooming from the room created a mass of chaos, screeching noises and loud chatter drowning out whatever else the teacher had been about to say.

Rukia stood up to go as well, but, although she'd only looked to the door for a second, when she turned back to her desk, she couldn't see the book she'd had there anywhere. It was a collection of photos, all taken by either Ukitake or Kaien, depicting the three of them on their adventures. Some people might have thought her obsessed with both the white haired man, and his black haired 'son', but in reality, it was actually rather understandable.

Rukia had only ever really known Ukitake, Kaien, and Byakuya. Initially, she'd had Abarai Renji, but he was living in Sapporo now, so they rarely saw each other, although she emailed, rang, or wrote to him quite a bit. So, meeting the trio who lived in the Kuchiki Mansion, and making it a quartet, had caused a drastic change in the way she lived. Byakuya rarely shared words with her, so, as a consequence, although she was thankful for what he'd done for her, and although she loved him, in her eyes, the other two living in the second main house were a lot closer to her. Ukitake acted as the 'father', although both of his charges believed he was more like a grandfather, and they just ran around being themselves. Quirky, yet serious, and a whole lot madder and more _dangerous_ than anyone would expect, just from looking at them, that was.

'Are you looking for that book?' a cheerful voice made Rukia turn slightly, once again brought away from her musings. Indigo eyes came to rest on a curvaceous, auburn haired teenager with the largest grin Rukia could possibly have anticipated.

'Yes,' her voice was a bit tight and her posture rather rigid, but it didn't seem to faze the other girl, 'Do you know where it is?'

'Did you forget?' there was no malice in the words, 'Well, I'm Inoue Orihime, and I forget stuff like that heaps. Anyway, that book is on your chair. I saw you put it there as you got up. And, I'll repeat because I'm a scientific space robot . . . don't worry if you can't remember the little things, it's the big things that matter!' after losing her robotic voice on the word 'matter', Orihime turned and skipped off, calling out to an athletic looking girl with black hair.

_Scientific __space __robot,_ Rukia felt exhausted just looking at the bouncy teenager, _And __I _do not _forget __things. __This __is __just __because __I__'__m _angry.

As she picked up the book, she glanced across at the doorway where the orange haired boy was leaving the classroom, _Jerk_.

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><p><em>'They say first impressions are really important. That they can define a relationship,' Kaien lay sprawled on the fresh, damp green grass, 'But I dunno if I believe that all the time,' he didn't seem to care that he was getting wet because of the light rain still falling from the sky, 'I mean, once I met a man who freaked me out real bad, but then I spied on him, and he was writing poetry, and then he caught me. After that, things weren't so tough between us, because he'd try to make me write poetry too, and I'd try to make him leave his house, and we'd end up launching fireworks from the roof,'<em>

_Rukia, sitting on a comfortable chair under the roof of the terrace, hid her grin and snapped, 'How can you go from arguing to setting of fireworks, it doesn't flow,'_

_'We're not in class, don't be so technical,' aqua green eyes flicked to the girl in mild amusement, 'And that's not the point, the point is-,'_

_'Did you just make that all up?' Rukia had no qualms interrupting, she knew he'd still say what he wanted to after she'd finished talking._

_'Yeah, but anyway,' it really took a lot to make Kaien lose his confident, relaxed manner, 'The point is that first impressions can sometimes be misleading. You might meet someone on the street and think they're the average delinquent, and then the next day, you read in the newspaper that that person is actually the junior calligraphy champion of Karakura Town,'_

_'Once again, your ideas are strange,' Rukia sighed deeply, lowering the book she'd been trying to read, 'I mean, the best thing you could think of was calligraphy,'_

_'But don't you believe me?' Kaien chuckled and rubbed his forehead as more raindrops splattered down on him, 'Another example then, let's see,' there was a faintly wicked gleam in his eye when he continued, something that made Rukia instantly wary, 'Well, the first time we met, I thought you looked like a,' he paused, considering, 'A stray dog. Quite thin, unhealthy looking, with scared eyes and a jumpy demeanour,' ignoring Rukia's strangled protests, the teenager continued, 'But once I got to know you better, you really turned out to be quite the lively little puppy, eh?'_

_Rukia was practically seething as she stood up, slammed the book down, and marched over, not caring that her clean slippers were getting soaked, 'A stray puppy? Unhealthy?' she plonked her fist on his forearm, the one still resting on his head, 'You sure know how to compliment people!'_

_'But it's true,' he sounded sickeningly innocent as he rolled away from her and stood up, catching her fist as she tried to hit him again, 'Never just rely on first impressions, try to get to know whoever ticked you off. They mightn't be as nasty and jerk-ish once you've spoken to them a bit more. Or at least,' taking on a distant and dumb expression, Kaien added, 'They might actually have a good reason to call you a homeless waif,'_

_Rukia used his hand on hers to pivot and she kicked him on the shoulder, which was about as far as she could reach without jumping, 'Don't ruin philosophical crap with such a stupid, rude and annoying ending!'_

_Running away and back into the house, purposely ignorant to the wet footprints he was leaving in his path, Kaien laughed, 'If you think my wisdom is crap, then it shouldn't matter about what I end it with,'_

_'That's not-,' Rukia was cut off when the clouds opened once again and a torrent of rain poured down on her, soaking through her clothes in seconds, she amended what she'd been going to say, which had been 'true', to, 'Fair,'_

_'Now, if we'd met just at this moment,' leaning on the doorway, Kaien laughed at her, 'I would've said you looked like a drowned rat instead,'_

_'I'm ignoring you,' shivering, Rukia walked under the terrace roof and straight past her friend, could he even be called a friend, and into the massive entrance hall of the second mansion like building on the Estate._

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><p>Opening her eyes, Rukia sighed deeply, fingers curling on the cover of the unopened photo book. The day after that incident, she'd come down with a horrible cold, and had had to stay in bed for three days straight. The coughing, sneezing, and choking hadn't been pleasant at all and her throat had felt like she'd swallowed a handful of nails. Kaien had acted completely unrepentant and he'd teased her a bit, but behind that carefree demeanour, she'd seen that he really was worried, and he hadn't left her side the whole time. Ukitake had given him a talking to, and Rukia half suspected that Byakuya had too, but behind the scenes, of course. It was a secret that she knew, but her brother-in-law did kind of care for her, because once she'd overheard him asking Ukitake how she was going, and telling Kaien off for almost knocking her out.<p>

Jumping down from the tree she'd been perched in the whole lunch break, Rukia turned and walked back towards the classroom. She couldn't help but wonder if Kaien had been right. Not about the fireworks, stray dogs, or drowned rats, but about first impressions.

Sure, that orange haired guy was being unusually rude, although they hadn't exchanged any words yet, and his demeanour was irritating, but maybe he had a good reason not to like her. Although, as of yet, she couldn't think of one because she hadn't even met him before, so he couldn't possibly not like her for something she'd said or done. Personal issues, was the only thing that came to her mind.

'Urgh,' the quiet growl was all she was prepared to give, after all, people who were such losers didn't deserve the time of day.

That was the direction Rukia's thoughts were taking just as she stepped around the corner, intent on getting back to class, and almost ran into a certain orange haired teenager, the one wearing a relatively permanent scowl.

_Oh this is just cliché_

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><p>Author's Note:<p>

So how will Rukia's first conversation with Ichigo go . . . probably not that well, considering everything

Anyhow, this story looks to be 'safe' now, which makes me happy. Just thought I'd say it, and I hope you continue reading


	3. Chapter 2: Not Fully a Bad Day

_Chapter 2: Not Fully a Bad Day_

'Watch it,' Rukia was not in the mood to deal with the very person who'd completely ruined her bad day, 'Can't you look where you're walking,'

'I-I could say the same to you,' the orange haired guy glared at her, possibly with more ferocity than the situation asked for, brown eyes showing his irritation.

Rukia wasn't sure whether he'd stuttered because he was just really angry, or some other pathetic reason, but she didn't really care, 'Do you have a problem with me? Because I certainly have one with _you_,' she'd just decided that he really, really pissed her off.

_Sorry, Kaien, but I really don't think my first impressions of this guy were wrong at all._

'Wha-!' whatever he'd expected her to say, that certainly wasn't it, but still, it didn't look like he'd just accept that and walk off, then again, neither did she, 'Hey! We haven't even,' he seemed to be choking, 'We haven't even met before, don't just jump to conclusions and shout at me!'

'You're the one who's shouting,' Rukia's level, cold voice was cutting, 'And anyway, saying all that doesn't mean anything. If you meant it, you could stop glaring at me whenever I'm in the same room as you,' the volume of her voice was rising, 'I can practically feel you staring!'

'It's not like _you _didn't glare back,' they were full on shouting at each other now, 'And you're the one who declared you had a _problem _with me,'

'Well I do,' indigo eyes flashing dangerously, Rukia continued to glare and almost shout, 'Because I don't want to be at this school, I don't want to be in that class, and I certainly don't want to be talking to you!'

'Fine! It's not like I want to be shouting at you!' despite his words, the teenager hadn't stopped yelling, 'Just shut up and get lost!'

Rukia almost snapped right there and then, 'How dare you! What was it that the teacher said? Oh yeah, you're not supposed to be nasty to the new student! You're supposed to make her feel welc-'

'I said SHUT UP,' class had probably started by now, and Misato wasn't one to worry about where missing students were. Consequently, Rukia's little verbal battle beside the school building was going completely unnoticed by practically everyone.

Glaring with full force, Rukia was about to retort harshly, when she noticed something that she'd been previously too preoccupied to fully see.

_He looks . . . exactly like Kaien. _

It was so true. Apart from the orange hair and brown eyes, this . . . person, whoever he was, looked almost like a copy of Shiba Kaien. Rukia could hardly believe it now, and she could tell that her 'enemy' of sorts was wondering why she'd suddenly fallen silent.

_Why? __Why __did __this __have __to __happen? __I __can__'t __believe __there__'__s __someone __who __looks __so __similar __to __Kaien, _her scowl reappeared, _And __I __can__'__t __believe __he__'__s __even __more __of __an __annoyance __than __Kaien __too. __No, __not __just __an __annoyance __. __. __. __this __guy __is __a __complete __bastard._

'Are . . . are you alright?'

Rukia snapped back to reality, finding that she seemed to be doing that a lot, and she took a few steps away from the orange haired teenager, 'Who are you?' her tone was deeply accusing.

'Kurosaki Ichigo,' said Ichigo, wondering about the sudden change in the new girl's demeanour, 'Are you okay?'

'Why the hell are you asking me if I'm alright if you don't like me?' Rukia was rather bewildered, and in a definite state of shock, 'You're twisted and contradicting,'

'That's so rude,' Ichigo sighed, he wasn't having a good day at all, 'Anyway, I'm just going to say this straight out to you, alright,'

'What?' Rukia was getting angry again, 'Fine, hurry up,'

Steeling himself, and hoping he wasn't going to get hit or kicked, Ichigo opened his mouth and said, 'Just stay away from me because I really don't like you,'

The shock of having such a thing said directly to her face was enough to make Rukia decide right then that she absolutely _loathed_ this boy, this Kurosaki Ichigo, 'Alright then, but you better do the same. I don't want anything to do with such a messed up person,'

'Good,' sending the petite girl one last glare, Ichigo turned and stalked off, back towards the doors which would ultimately lead to the classroom.

After another moment of frozen fury, a very angry Rukia stormed back into the school. She didn't care why _Kurosaki __Ichigo_ hated her, she didn't care that he was in her class. She couldn't care less if he died that afternoon. All she knew, was that he was _nothing _like Kaien, and really, that piece of information was the only thing that gave her the strength not to just walk right out of the school gates.

* * *

><p>'How was your first day at school?' Ukitake, strangely wearing a rose pink apron and a head scarf, hurried out the doors of the Kuchiki Estate's second main house, 'Kuchiki?'<p>

Rukia, having just been dropped off by the driver who occasionally took Jushiro places when he had a particularly bad bout of his illness, hid her scowl, 'Oh, it was fine,'

'Well, it obviously wasn't,' seeing how she was grimacing, the white haired man frowned, 'What happened? Was it the teacher? Do I have to tell Byakuya to ring the school about something?'

Sighing, the petite teenager ascended the short flight of steps up to where Ukitake was standing, 'No, not the teacher, the school, or any of the students in my class . . . bar one,'

'Oh dear,' shaking his head, the man led the way back inside the mansion, pausing to orientate himself before starting off in the direction of the kitchens, 'Who was it then?'

Rukia looked about a bit before following, it didn't matter that she'd lived in this building for years, she was still certain there were rooms she hadn't been in. It was just such a massive construction that, if your sense of direction was any less than above average, you could get lost for days.

'An orange haired jerk named-,' noticing that Ukitake didn't seem to be listening, and had stumbled, Rukia broke of her angry sentence, and rushed over to stabilise the man. She hoped he wasn't having another bout of his illness, because when he coughed up blood and lay weakly on his bed, she always felt like she was going to lose one of the few most precious people she had in her life.

'Ukitake!' delicate hands on his shoulders, Rukia fought the urge to shake him, since that really wouldn't have helped, and just called out instead, 'Are you okay? Do you want to lie down? Should I get your medication?'

None of the doctors could fix whatever unknown illness Jushiro had, but there was some medicine that eased his pain and seemed to slow it down. Before he'd left, Kaien had always been the one to handle the medicine, since one was taken orally, and the other two were injected, but now Rukia had full responsibility of that.

'No, no,' taking some deep breaths, and trying to hide the hand that he'd coughed into, Ukitake shook his head, 'I'll be fine, let's just go into that sitting room,' pointing to a nearby doorway, Jushiro let Rukia guide him through it, 'What were you saying, by the way? I'm sorry but I didn't hear your reply,'

'Oh, it's nothing,' she would normally have been annoyed that he hadn't listened just when she was about to vent her latest problem, but in cases like this, she'd rather bottle up all of her issues rather than burden him as well. Ukitake's health was of paramount concern to the petite teenager, and, on the nights she couldn't sleep and she just felt like crying, she always hoped desperately that Kaien would get back from his studying before Jushiro died. It was a morbid and dark thought, but she couldn't help but think it. Those nights . . . every single one was filled with terrifyingly thoughts, things so dark and consuming that she felt like screaming. And when did fall asleep, in the occasional nightmares she had, she couldn't speak, couldn't make a sound. And that in itself, was just as terrifying as anything else.

'Kuchiki?' Ukitake, having caught his breath, wondered why Rukia had tears gathering at the edges of her eyes, 'Kuchiki? Are you-,' the white haired man found himself interrupted as the petite girl suddenly flung herself at him, wrapped her slim arms around his waist, and hugged him tightly, 'It's okay,' patting her back gently, he wondered just what had gotten the usually composed girl so agitated. It couldn't just be something that had happened at school, she was too aloof to let things like that bother her, so what was it . . .

Kind green eyes widened fractionally, _Last __night __I __heard __her __crying __. __. __._

It was less of a sound, and more of something that could just be _sensed_. Kuchiki Rukia, proud, strong, fearless . . . she didn't cry. But the sorrows that were in her heart caused tears to fall from her eyes, and when they did, anyone who'd ever spent time with her . . . could sense it in their heart as well.

'Now, now,' not wanting to embarrass her, because Ukitake could guess that she was already regretting losing her composure, even though she hadn't pulled away, 'Did I tell you that I've got cucumbers, eggs and rice dumplings for dinner tonight!'

Rukia stepped back and sat down on the chair opposite to Jushiro's, 'Really? That's good because I'm in a really bad mood,' she almost forgot she'd been planning not to tell him why, 'I'm feeling quite tired too,'

Knowing how Rukia generally kept to herself, keeping cold and harsh barriers between other people, Ukitake wasn't surprised that she hadn't been able to experience school the way others might have. She was quite removed from emotions, and the way she'd almost cried just before told him that something was seriously wrong, even if the girl didn't realise it herself.

'Do you want to tell me about that problem?' standing up carefully, Ukitake straightened his apron and began to walk towards the kitchen again, hearing Rukia stand and follow, 'I'll listen this time, I promise,'

Despite her usual stoic calm, Rukia couldn't help the wry smile that touched her lips, 'No, I can deal with it,'

Privately, she added, _And __if __that __guy __tries __any__more __smart __talk __. __. __. __well, __I __hope __Nii-sama __would __be __able __to __stop __me __from __being __expelled, __I__'__ve __heard __that __violence __isn__'__t __supposed __to __be __tolerated __at __school._

Thinking about her 'swordfights' with Kaien, when the pair of them had skipped tutoring, run off into the main house, and sparred with their longer wooden rulers, the indigo eyed girl could have smiled wider, but she didn't. Her knuckles ached dully in remembrance of how hard the older teenager had whacked her hand with his ruler. She hadn't cried out, it really wasn't in her nature, no matter how out of character she acted around Kaien, but she'd used her own ruler to slap his face when he stopped jumping about long enough to ask her if she was alright. The result, by the time they'd returned to check on Ukitake, had been a literally red handed Rukia, and a red faced Kaien, who certainly wasn't blushing.

Jushiro had taken in their rather battered appearances, and then he'd asked if they were starting a new fashion, and if he should start going around with ruler shaped indentations on his face. Kaien had almost succeeded in making the white haired man's 'wish' come true, but Rukia had managed to stop him at the last second. Unfortunately, since she'd put her own arm between Ukitake's face, and Kaien's ruler, she hadn't been so triumphant in the end.

'You think too much,' sighing in a paternal way, Jushiro walked over to check on the cucumbers, only he would know what he was doing with them, and then he glanced at the dumplings, 'I can see the thoughts coming out your ears. Just go off and have a good time for the rest of the day. It looks like you need an unwind,' pausing, he hesitated before adding, 'Oh, and Abarai rang today,'

'Renji?' Rukia was honestly surprised, having wondered when her old, old friend was going to contact her next, 'Really?'

'He seemed to be in a hurry, so I don't know-,' Ukitake turned around to say 'if you should bother him by ringing back', but there was no longer a person standing in the doorway, 'Oh dear, maybe I should talk faster,'

Sighing, but knowing that a talk with Abarai might help Kuchiki to vent some of her confused emotions, the man spun around again to find out how the eggs were going, when he realised they were gone.

_It isn't possible, but . . . did Kuchiki steal them?_

Vexed almost to the point of exhaustion, Jushiro went and sat down, fell asleep, and forgot everything about the food still cooking in the kitchen.

* * *

><p>Rukia sat on her western style bed and frowned at the phone in her hands, nibbling at an egg as she did so. She wondered what she should say to Renji, as although they kept in contact, she hadn't seen him face to face since they'd parted at the boarding school, and she'd left to live in Karakura Town.<p>

Not giving up so easily, a determined Rukia practically punched the buttons as she dialled her red headed friend's number. The sound of ringing went on for a while longer than she expected, but she still wasn't going to be discouraged.

_Damn __you __Renji, __you __could __at __least __pick __up __today. __Because __today __of __all __days __I __need __to __talk __to __someone __who __isn__'__t __either __going __to __say __they __hate __me, __be __completely __kind __to __me, __or __give __me __silent __treatment. __You, __I __think, __shall __just __yell __and __talk __about __yourself __the __whole t__ime, _twitching, Rukia wondered if it was worth calling her friend, _But __today __that__'__ll __be __alright, __because __after __last __night, _she shuddered remembering the black nightmares, _I __just __need __a __distraction._

'Hello?' a familiar, infuriatingly confident and generally idiotic, voice sounded down the line, 'Rukia? Are you there? Or has some weirdo hijacked your phone and rung me to offer me chocolate and a foot scrub?'

'Don't be stupid,' she didn't know if he said all of that strange stuff to all of the people who were brave enough to ring him, but it sure annoyed her. In a different way to how _Kurosaki __Ichigo _had, that much was blatantly obvious.

'So it _is _you,' it sounded like he was smirking, she could _hear _it, 'I was wondering . . . you really aren't usually so quiet. Don't tell me you actually learned some manners on how to be a polite young lady,'

'Shut _up_!' hoping Ukitake couldn't hear her, Rukia yelled down the phone, not bothering to move it away from her mouth, 'I didn't ring just so you could insult me! I've had enough of that, because the next person to say something rude is going home with a black eye,'

'Are you planning to hit me? How are you supposed to do that through a phone?' Renji sounded genuinely confused, which was worrying, 'I mean really-,'

'Why did you ring today?' cutting him off before she lost it completely, the petite girl continued to glare at her wall, pretending that Renji's heavily tattooed face was there, 'Ukitake said you called,'

'Oh,' calming down a bit, the red head sighed deeply, there were a few sounds like someone moving about, and then he said, 'Well, you know how I live in Sapporo? Of course you do,' some more rustling sounds, 'Anyway, a couple of days ago, the old man who was giving me a place to stay ever since I left school, er, he died,' a pause, and then Renji added, 'But don't think this means I'm implying that I'm going to come to Karakura and demand to live somewhere in that supposedly huge house of yours,'

'Then what do you want?' although that news was surprising, Rukia couldn't help but feel suspicious of her friend, 'Renji, I'm warning you, if you don't come out with it, I'll-,'

'Okay!' although he wasn't sure what she'd been threatening, Renji hurried on because whatever it was had sounded scary, 'So I was actually planning on moving to Tokyo to get a job,'

'And you're planning to come visit?' she wasn't sure whether or not that was a good thing, after all, they hadn't seen each other in a long time. Only photos had kept them up to date with the other's appearance. Seeing Renji's was kind of funny because if you flicked through them in chronological order, then tattoos seemed to grow on his face.

'Actually, I'm not, that's really what I wanted to say,' there was a mixture of embarrassment, apology, and seriousness in his tone, 'I'm sorry, Rukia, but you know I don't like your brother much-,'

'At all,' even though she corrected him sternly, Rukia was in a state of minor shock. She'd never guessed that, even if he was moving closer, Renji wouldn't want to come and see her. Although time had passed and everything, they were still friends, they still talked to each other . . . they were still on good terms. Was her Nii-sama that bad?

'Okay, at all,' Renji seemed to be really sorry, 'Yeah, whatever, but that's the thing,'

'Alright,' forcing a smile onto her face, even though she knew he couldn't see, Rukia chuckled weakly, 'Are you really saying that you're too lazy to come visit, so you want me to come to Tokyo?'

There was a pause, kind of surprised, and then Renji spoke again, his tone higher as if he was truly amazed, 'You know, I hadn't even thought of that. Yeah, you can do that if you want, I'll send you my address when I get one,'

'You're infuriating, you know,' thinking that the whole thing seemed rather sudden, rather out of place, Rukia exhaled noisily, 'Anyway, send me that and I'll see when I've got a spare moment. For some reason I've been sent to a regular school, argh, these are the times when I wish Kaien were back from his studies,' she knew that if she visited Renji in Tokyo, she might be able to see her other friend too, as that was where he was staying, but somehow she thought it best to only see one person at a time. It wasn't like they were going anywhere, so, after she'd successfully completed her trip to Renji's, she'd schedule another one to Kaien's. Then again, she hadn't really even talked to him at all . . . the last time must have been just a few months after he'd left.

'I've gotta go, see ya,' before she could reply, Renji had done his customary 'hang up rudely when someone is talking' thing, and Rukia was left with a silent phone still pressed to her ear.

'Bye Renji, don't expect a visit at all if you keep treating me like this,' thinking of bad treatment inevitably led the girl to thinking about a certain orange haired high school student, 'Why do you two seem kind of similar?'

Growling under her breath, and resolving to completely ignore _Kurosaki __Ichigo _the next day, Rukia flopped back on her bed and, strangely, she was asleep peacefully in seconds.

_I guess this wasn't fully a bad day . . ._

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<p>

Firstly, I'd like to thank you for reading. And secondly, I'd like to apologise for Rukia's out of character behaviour around Ukitake, and just in general. It's unusual for her to show vulnerability, and I tried not to make it too much, but I'm just trying to get across that she's not as alright as she seems . . .

So, I sincerely apologise for any odd Rukia behaviour, I'm sorry!


	4. Chapter 3: Worsening

_Chapter 3: Worsening_

_It was black, so stiflingly black. She couldn't breathe properly, the weight of the darkness pressing against her form. Echoes passed through the air, repeating again and again, unintelligible. They could make noise, but although her mouth opened and she clawed at the dark around her, no sound came from her throat._

_It was the same nightmare each time her dreamless nights were marred by fear._

No! This isn't right . . .

_There was no truth in the world for her as she stumbled along blindly, unsure if she was even moving. The uneven, rapid thudding of her own heartbeat resonated in her mind, drowning out any rational thoughts at all._

I can't find . . .

_The same emotions kept cutting deeper and deeper into her dream figure, wrenching away calm composure, exposing her darkest fears. Fears which had no shape of form, nothing that she could distinguish them by . . . only the utter agony as they were ripped free from her control. All that remained was the things she couldn't think of while awake, didn't want to think of while she was asleep, all of them made up the body she was trapped in while dreaming her sickening dreams._

There is nothing here . . .

_Turning blindly, the pale girl kept taking her broken steps forward. Or was it back? She couldn't even tell. But . . . right there! Light, she could see the faintest patch of light in this place where all was dark._

Don't leave me . . .

_Rushing towards the bright point, a perfect circle on the ground, she was almost there, almost there . . . and then she fell, one hand reaching before her, stretching towards that splash of light. There was something above her, suspended in that pillar of glowing brightness. What was it? Her eyes couldn't focus, there was something distracting her. Something below her this time, not above . . . something wet._

Blood

_Why was there blood here? She hadn't fallen, she wasn't injured . . . it wasn't hers. Delicate hands scrabbled against the ground, trying to seek purchase on the suddenly smooth surface. She couldn't rise . . . she couldn't get up and away from that blood. _

No! No . . .

_The light flickered and, in a single moment, it was gone. The last possible refuge from the choking darkness had vanished. There was no scream, but a wet thud sounded through the tension filled silence._

Wait . . . !

* * *

><p>Rukia sat bolt upright, shivering and clutching her head, violet eyes haunted and wide. She could feel the shudders that shook her terribly, and the trembling just wouldn't stop. Why did she always have those nightmares? Whenever her day had been anything less than perfectly tolerable, she generally had such a bad dream. Always the same, always just as terrifying.<p>

'Ung,'

Her head was hurting, but strangely, she couldn't recall what the dream had been about. All she could remember was the fear, the dark, and how horrible it had been to be soundless. That too, was always the same.

'I haven't really had that dream in a while, but suddenly I had it twice in a row,' Rukia sighed and relaxed a bit more, 'What's going on?' frowning, she tried to recall the first time the nightmare had ever entered her unconscious mind, 'Hmm, it must've been some time last year,'

Shaking her head, the teenager decided to put aside such unimportant matters, the type that she only needed to worry about when she was asleep, and get ready for school. Who knew, everything that would happen throughout the day might be more vexing.

'Damn that Kurosaki guy,' she found she couldn't ignore that nuisance as easily as she'd hoped, 'He better leave me alone,'

There was no reason, apart from the fact that he was infuriating, that Kurosaki Ichigo should stay in her mind even during the time when she was at home. There was no explanation for why he wouldn't just get lost from her thoughts. It was oddly disturbing, like the world was laughing at her while fate was leading her blindfolded into a den of monsters that wanted to tear her apart.

* * *

><p>Ukitake sat in his 'Ukitake's Special, Completely Private, No One Allowed Office', and sighed deeply. He'd sensed Rukia awake in terror, and then calm down completely, sliding easily into her usual demeanour. Looking at the wall before him, he wondered what would happen if, one day, he forgot to lock the door to this room, and someone, namely Rukia, found it and entered, just out of curiosity. It was a difficult thing to comprehend, as he had no idea what her reaction would be, but it wasn't something he'd want to test without Byakuya's approval too. After all, matters like this were of utmost delicacy, and the slightest misstep could lead to a literal disaster.<p>

'Poor Kuchiki,' he wasn't sure which Kuchiki he was referring to, because both of them had suffered because of the same thing, 'Poor me,' he knew he'd had a hard time too, maybe on a different level though, 'Poor everyone,' the two Kuchiki family members and himself . . . they weren't the only ones affected.

Jushiro could only hope that things would begin to move in a better direction. Suddenly, like he'd been stuck with lightning, which wouldn't be as pleasant as the idea he'd just thought of, the white haired man realised a few things. He jumped up, ignoring the way his head span slightly, and rushed over to the lone desk in the room. Sitting down and picking up his favourite pen, Ukitake Jushiro began to write a plan of action.

After all, when dealing with Kuchiki Byakuya, it was far better to have all of your ideas straight before you even considered talking to him.

* * *

><p>As Rukia walked through the school gates, she saw a now familiar head of orange hair. Glaring and steeling herself for any harsh and unnecessary words, the teenage gritted her teeth and stalked along haughtily, not even prepared to give him eye contact. Fortunately, for both of them really, Ichigo wasn't paying her any attention and he just kept wandering forwards, talking on his phone to one of his friends, no doubt.<p>

Seeing the phone reminded Rukia of Renji, and once again she got the odd feeling that something was too rushed in what was happening with his move to Tokyo, and his kind of offer to let her visit. Sighing, the violet eyed girl walked through the doors and into the school building. She wasn't going to let anything bother her today, it _was _only her second time coming to a regular school, and she was supposed to enjoy it. Or so Ukitake said.

'Kuchiki Rukia!' Misato appeared before Rukia as she arrived at her classroom, 'Hello, it's nice to see you plucked up enough courage to come back. I have to do that every day, you know,' the woman gave an almost scary grin before continuing, 'Oh my, Kuchiki! Are you okay?' staring through her glasses at the darkness in her student's pretty eyes, the teacher spoke in a concerned way, 'You don't look so well today,'

'I'm fine, thank you,' Rukia was a little taken aback, having not noticed anything odd with her appearance when she woke up in the morning. Then again, after the night she'd had . . . it wasn't so surprising if she'd missed something.

'Okay, if you say so!' completely unfazed, Misato whirled around in a flurry of hair, flashing glasses, and book, and faced her class fiercely, 'Right everyone! Let's get a head start on those slackers who aren't here yet!'

'School isn't supposed to start for ten more minutes,' someone apparently had the guts to contradict the woman, 'I think you're a bit ahead of yourself, sen-,'

'Did. Someone. Speak?' there was no mistaking the deadly but still cheerful note in the teacher's voice, 'Would. You. Like. To. Go. To. The. Nurse's. Office?'

Everyone decided that she was really threatening harm to the speaker. Still, that 'harm' would most likely be a good bashing with the book she always seemed to carry.

'Are you alright? You're speaking funny,' another person, clearly emboldened by the first, decided to speak out as well.

Whack!

The book blow was only stopped when a hand shot out and grabbed the smiling, furious woman's arm, halting its downward path. Asano Keigo, the unlucky but stupid second speaker, cowered in his chair, wondering why he couldn't have been born mute.

'Kurosaki Ichigo,' there was a slight amount of surprise in Misato's voice as she straightened and stared at the orange haired teenager, 'That's unlike you. Did something happen at home?'

No one else could entirely grasp their teacher's logic, but they were all waiting for what would happen next in intense anticipation. They wanted to know if Ochi was going to hit him instead. It was the most exciting thing that had happened all year, except since they'd only been in school for a day and a little bit, that didn't really say much.

'Sorry,' Ichigo released Misato's wrist and sat back down at his desk. He didn't look embarrassed, but he certainly didn't look sorry either. No one could work out why he hadn't just let the cross woman hit Keigo on the head with her book. It wasn't like Ichigo ever really protected the infuriating and perverted teenager. Normally _he _was the one hitting him, or at least knocking him down.

'Wha-!' Misato and Keigo both made the same exclamation at the same time, the pair of them sending wide eyed stares at Ichigo. It was clear enough that the orange haired teenager had something on his mind and wasn't really in the classroom at all.

'Are _you _alright, Kurosaki?' the woman stepped back, wondering why all of her students seemed to be moving their minds to another planet and leaving their bodies behind. When there was no response, and Ichigo had gone off staring into space, Ochi gave up, turned around, walked back to the front of the classroom and began explaining the next topic with much enthusiasm.

Everyone took another moment to glance at Ichigo, who was still glaring at his desk for no reason, and then Keigo, who was wondering if the 'Ichigo' in the classroom was really an imposter because the real one wouldn't have blinked if he'd been run over. Maybe . . . yes, maybe that was going a little, teeny bit too far.

'Listen up!' Misato brought everyone's attention back to her explanation, and, in the end, the class had started at exactly the right time, even the second hand on the clock was perfect.

* * *

><p>As she walked out of the classroom, Rukia couldn't help but glance at Ichigo. There seemed to be something seriously wrong with him, because although he glared and ignored her as he'd said he would, he really did seem to be in a different dimension. Somehow, she could guess that something had happened in his family to cause his odd behaviour. But it was only after she'd overheard a girl named Arisawa Tatsuki talking to Orihime about how a Kurosaki Yuzu had almost gotten severely burned by a pot of boiling water, that she could half understand why.<p>

_So __that __guy __does __have __feelings, _despite the very short time she'd known him, Rukia had unconsciously doubted that fact, _Well, __even __if __we__'__re __definitely __not __friends __and __more __like __short __time __enemies, __I __think __I__'__m __glad __to __know __that._

Thinking about boiling water reminded her of the time when Kaien had knocked one of Ukitake's pots off the stovetop. All three of them had had to jump onto the nearest piece of furniture in order to avoid getting burned. Unfortunately, Kaien had leapt onto the bench, slipped on a dishcloth, and fallen out of the open window behind him. Because of the water on the ground, they hadn't been able to move to see if he was alright, but only seconds after he'd disappeared, he'd walked back in through the door with a mop and some towels in order to clean up the mess.

Smiling slightly, the petite teenager continued on her way out of the school building and into the grounds. She was planning to do a repeat of the previous day's lunchtime activity, but her ideas were changed abruptly when Inoue Orihime appeared before her, laughing at something.

'Hey!' the girl seemed just as cheerful as ever, but as she leant forward, there was something different about her demeanour, 'Kuchiki-,'

'What?' Rukia wasn't so sure that what Orihime was going to say was going to be entirely nice. She'd seen the teenager hanging around with Kurosaki, so if he'd said something . . . well that would explain the odd look in the brown eyes staring into her own.

'Is it true you were tutored privately because you had anger problems and hurt someone at your last school?' the bubbly manner of Inoue suggested that she didn't fully mean the words in a cruel way, and instead, she was just curious. Still, it hurt Rukia that she'd even be asked such a question. After all, the reason she'd been tutored at the Kuchiki Mansion was mainly because of Kaien and Ukitake, but also because that was what her Nii-sama had decided was best for her.

'Who told you that?' her voice was deadly calm, and she leant back against the wall casually, fingers tightening on the book of photos at the same time.

'Oh, it was Tatsuki, who heard it from Keigo who'd been spying on Kurosaki when he was talking on his phone to, well, I don't know who,' Orihime broke off when she noticed that the black haired girl before her was shaking with something akin to rage, 'Are you alright?'

Rukia took a deep breath, envisioned Ukitake's disappointed face if he was called up because she'd bashed someone up, or at least attempted to, on her second day of school, and completely relaxed. Exhaling slowly, she closed her eyes briefly, before addressing Inoue, who seemed to half believe the false rumour, 'Look Inoue, I didn't do that. The only other school I've been to apart from this one was,' cutting herself off because she didn't want to be telling this girl about her past at all, Rukia amended what she'd been about to say, 'Listen, I didn't do anything like that, alright? Ichigo just hates me, or something like that, so he was probably just trying to spread a rumour,' turning, she began to walk away, 'And if you see him, tell him . . . to leave me alone,' she'd barely refrained from saying 'that he's a bastard and should just go to hell' because that would _not _have made her look good at all.

'What?' left alone beside the school building, Orihime stared after the girl, watching as she walked away proudly, shoulders straight and posture perfect, 'Kuchiki?'

* * *

><p>'What the hell is with you,' despite the fact that it was almost time to go inside again, Rukia had decided to have a rematch of verbal sparring with a certain orange haired jerk. It really was starting to pan out the same as the day before.<p>

'Huh?' Ichigo turned around from being about to walk back inside, and stared blankly at the regal but furious teenager before him, 'Don't tell me you're just trying to be more of a nuisance than you already are,'

Rukia continued to clench the hand hidden in her satchel, and the feeling of her nails pricking her skin was enough to keep her from losing it this time, 'Did you tell Inoue Orihime that I got private tutoring because I injured someone from my previous school?'

Ichigo blinked at her, brown eyes losing some of the unfocused appearance that had stuck in them all day, 'No,'

Tightening her fist a little more, the black haired teenager continued evenly, 'Inoue asked me if I had. She said Arisawa heard it from Asano who'd overheard _you _saying it on the phone,'

'A-are you all playing Telephone?' the orange haired teenager was rather lost in her short little explanation, and he was rather baffled as well, 'W-what type of person believes something that passed from at least four other people, one of whom was _Keigo_?'

Somehow Rukia found herself believing what he was implying, that being that he hadn't said it in the first place, 'Well . . . maybe someone who's too trusting,' she didn't realise what she was saying , and as soon as she had, she regretted it immensely. It wasn't good to show any sort of weakness in front of a potential enemy.

There was a pause and then, Ichigo spoke once more, turning to walk away as he did so, 'If I'd even suspected that was true though, I would have just told Inoue in the first place so that she could go straight off to you without such a delay,' there was definite scorn and mocking in his tone, 'So don't let your guard down and _keep __away __from __me_,'

As he disappeared up a flight of stairs, Rukia was left standing alone in the empty corridor, swaying in shock.

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<p>

Poor Rukia, and not just because of her nightmare. Ichigo really doesn't hold back when it comes to harsh words . . .

And I tried as hard as I thought necessary to not make it seem like Inoue was actually being mean, because that's not like her at all. It was more curiosity aided by her usual demeanour . . .


	5. Chapter 4: Family

_Chapter 4: Family_

'Is there something you require?' Kuchiki Byakuya stepped from one of his larger offices and descended the stairs to the front entrance hall of the main house, 'Ukitake,'

The white haired man glanced up from sitting in one of the lounge chairs positioned near the door, and he smiled weakly. Byakuya always looked proud and stately, even when wearing a slightly crumpled white work shirt, and black pants. He must have been out at one of his company's proper buildings during the day.

'Well,' although it was afternoon and he'd been planning and writing ideas down all day, Jushiro still found that he felt unprepared when faced with the stoic owner of the Kuchiki Estate itself, 'I want to ask you something,' suddenly the recollection of what he'd felt that morning came back to his mind and it gave him the courage to ask his question straight out, 'Did you sense Kuchiki wake this morning?' both of them knew which Kuchiki he was referring to, 'Did you sense her terror?'

Byakuya didn't reply, he just paused where he was, halfway down the last flight of steps between the ground and the first half level, and leant against the bannister with casual elegance.

'I was thinking . . . maybe we shouldn't be so careful with her,' Ukitake tried to maintain eye contact with the Head of the Kuchiki family and failed, 'She isn't at such a stage where we need to wrap her so tightly in cotton wool,' taking a deep breath, the man paused.

He could faintly recall Rukia saying something the day before.

'_An orange haired jerk named-,'_

She hadn't finished the sentence because he'd almost fallen, but somehow he could almost guess what she'd been about to say. And with everything that he'd relied on for a whole year now, he desperately hoped that he was wrong.

'And she's at that school. I mean, yesterday she even almost, I think she almost-,'

Byakuya straightened again and turned to go, 'Ukitake, no action will be taken. Do not put strain on your health,'

As the man once again disappeared into the huge building that only he occupied, Ukitake stood up slowly, his expression sad but indecisive. A loud sigh escaped from his chest and then he opened one of the doors and stepped out into the warm afternoon sunlight, so contrasting to the cold feeling in his heart.

* * *

><p>Rukia finished dumping her things in her room, just a few doors down from Ukitake's, and then she decided to go wandering around the building. It was one of the things that had kept her occupied when her tutors weren't there, after Kaien left, that was.<p>

'I wonder where Ukitake is,' she murmured to herself, softly, as she walked up a flight of stairs, 'Perhaps he went to see Nii-sama,'

It was an unusual occurrence, because the occupants of the two houses mainly didn't mingle, but then again, sometimes there were things that arose which Jushiro would need to talk to Byakuya about before dealing with himself.

Coming to a stop before the last door of the corridor she'd been walking in, somewhere about halfway up inside the building, Rukia frowned. It had a handwritten sign on it, penned in bright colours, and reading 'Ukitake's Special, Completely Private, No One Allowed Office'. She'd seen him go inside occasionally, and she was obviously curious to know what was inside, but, rather frustratingly, it was one of the only rooms in the house that was kept locked.

'After a day which involved brief conversation with that absolute,' she was still in mild disbelief at what Kurosaki had said to her, 'Urgh, I need to stop thinking about him, it's just depressing and annoying. Why the hell does he have such an issue with me? Until yesterday we hadn't even met!' now she was shouting at the door before her, as if that would solve her problems, 'I can't stand people like that!'

Slamming her hands against the wood, she turned and stormed back to her room, not pausing at all. The image of the orange haired teenager's face kept appearing in her head, most infuriatingly, and she almost wanted to scream. That guy always seemed to bring her to the very edge of her self-control. Half the time when they were in class, she just felt like jumping up and throwing something at him.

'You even mock me when we're in completely different parts of the town!' Rukia struggled to contain her rage, 'And you say if you wanted to, you'd start horrible rumours about me? I can't believe someone as bad as you exists! Why do you seem to hate me with everything you've got to possibly hate me with? This is ridiculous!'

Sitting down on her desk chair with so much force that it almost flew out from under her, the petite teenager glowered at her trash can as if that would solve all of the issues she had with Kurosaki Ichigo. The reason why he continually annoyed her . . . she still hadn't figured it out.

* * *

><p>'Ichi-nii!' Kurosaki Yuzu, thirteen year old younger sister of Ichigo, ran over to greet him as he stepped through the front door, a cheerful smile on her face, 'How was your day?'<p>

There was obvious hesitation on the orange haired teenager's face before he sighed, smiled slightly, and answered her question, 'It was alright,' taking off his shoes, he asked his sister what he'd been wondering about all day, 'Are you okay though?'

'Oh I'm fine,' it was clear she'd had a day off school though, because she wasn't wearing her uniform, 'It doesn't hurt anymore,' she waved her left hand in front of his face to accentuate her point, 'Honestly,'

'You sure?' Ichigo wanted to make sure. He held his family very dear to him, although occasionally he wasn't sure about his crazy dad, and any injury to them was like an injury to him.

'Certain,' sighing paternally, Yuzu led the way into the lounge room, 'And you should be more worried about Karin, she fell out the window,'

'What! She fell out the window? Which window? How? What happened?' the teenager was in a state of hyperactive shock, 'Yuzu!'

'Shut up, some people are trying to rest,' a familiar, cynical voice made Ichigo pause his rant and look over at the couch. Karin was lying there with an ice pack on her head and another one on her arm, where the edges of a large bruise could be seen.

'So you really did,' Ichigo trailed off, wondering why his head was spinning so much, and sat down, 'How?'

'Because that idiot we call our father knocked a pot off the stove, Yuzu and I had to get up off the ground. Yuzu's hand got in some of the water, but it was okay because she leapt onto the bench near the tap, so she could put cold water on it. I jumped onto the other bench and then, when dad rushed back with a mop, he knocked me out the window with the end of the handle,' Karin seemed rather annoyed, for understandable reasons, and she was frowning, 'So now I have a bump on my head from the mop, and a bruise on my arm from the fall,'

Ichigo tried to focus on only his sisters, but it was hard, 'Where's da-,'

'Here son!' Isshin sprung out from behind a chair and attempted to pounce on Ichigo, who dodged with relative ease, 'What do you need me for?'

'You're such a stupid dad!' the orange haired teenager was shouting, glaring down at the man currently sprawled across the floor, 'You injured both of your daughters today, and now you try to knock me out too?'

'Sorry!' jumping up, and clearly feeling guilty, Isshin scurried off and, presumably, back into the clinic from where he'd originally appeared from, 'See you at dinner!'

All three of the Kurosaki children paused silently for a moment longer, just to make sure their father wasn't coming back, and then they sighed in perfect unison.

'A-anyhow Ichi-nii,' Yuzu attempted to smile, but she could tell something was on Ichigo's mind, as it usually was these days, 'How was your day?' she didn't realise she'd already asked the question, as the tension on the air around her brother was abnormally strong.

'It was fine,' realising why she seemingly so absent minded, Ichigo moved to go up the stairs to his room, 'Sorry you two, I've got some homework to do,'

'Yeah, yeah,' despite the sarcasm in her tone, Karin seemed to believe him, and by the looks of it, Yuzu did too.

* * *

><p>Lying on his bed, and completely ignoring the homework on his desk, Ichigo sighed harshly. It was no good having such a careless dad, who might accidentally seriously injure one of them someday. Yuzu was quite forgiving, although she had matured lately, and Karin, of course, was generally just sarcastic and the likes. Still, those three weren't the only causes of the problems he was having recently. His head was hurting from thinking too much, and he felt like going to sleep and forgetting about everything.<p>

_Things __are __moving __though. __I __don__'__t __know __how, __or __why, __but __they __are __no __longer __the __same. __What __am __I __thinking? __I __must __be __going __mad, _he clenched his teeth and covered his eyes with one hand, _But __maybe, __at __least __for __Yuzu__'__s __sake, __I__'__ll __keep __going __to __school __and __keep __battling __through __every __single __day. __Why __though, __I __don__'__t __understand, _his thoughts were all over the place, one subject one second, another the next, _Surely __not __. __. __. __that__'__s __not __. __. __. __but __. __. __._

Sitting up so fast that his head span even faster, Ichigo fought the urge to vomit, and cursed himself for forgetting to get up slowly after thinking hard and lying down for a while. The sick feeling he was experiencing wasn't only because of the natural reaction one has after an abrupt change from lying to sitting . . . he really did feel ill.

'Sorry Yuzu,' hoping she hadn't gone to the trouble of cooking something special, Ichigo half whispered, half mumbled the words, still trying not to be sick, 'I might not be eating tonight,'

Seconds later, Kurosaki Ichigo was bolting from his room and to the bathroom, trying to get there before it was too late and some unfortunate person would need to clean the floor.

* * *

><p>Rukia was still sitting at her desk when she heard the door close and Ukitake begin making noise downstairs. She wondered if he'd been in the garden, because talking to her Nii-sama shouldn't have taken that long, considering Byakuya's personality.<p>

As she stared at the wall, trying not to think of anything, the teenager began thinking of something. It was, as it usually turned out to be, Shiba Kaien.

Rukia didn't know when he was supposed to come back, and, if she remembered correctly, the last time he'd contacted them would've been about a year ago. It was way too long, in her opinion, and she almost wanted to ask Ukitake if she could go to Tokyo to try and find him. She might even be able to enlist the assistance of Renji, if he wasn't working, and then the job mightn't be so massive. But, considering the population of Japan's capital city, it was probably going to be impossible if they didn't contact him first.

'Last year,' she didn't realise she was speaking, and her tone was distant and almost lost, 'What happened last year?'

She noticed in the silence that followed her words that she had a headache, and also that she was hungry. It sounded like Ukitake was attempting to cook something else, and she briefly wondered if she should approach her Nii-sama about hiring someone who'd do the dinner preparation for them. No matter what the white haired man thought, neither of them were that brilliant in the kitchen.

Rukia couldn't remember anything from the year before the one she was currently in. She could recall events from the first half of the year before last, but that still left a rather large gap of a whole year, plus another approximate six months. That time was just a dark blank in her head, and it was worryingly similar in its dark quality to her nightmares.

'What happened? How can a person forget so much?' she wasn't an expert on such things, but there were, of course, some possible answers. Still, she wasn't sure, and she really liked to be certain about things, especially the ones that concerned herself.

_What happened? What happened? What happened?_

Her head was beginning to really hurt, like something was banging around inside her skull, making as much noise as possible. But still, she had to remember, she didn't want to be so lost and unknowing. She wanted to remember, and even if she'd already tried multiple times before, she was never going to give up.

_What happened? What happened? What happened?_

Indigo eyes were unfocused, pale hands were clenched tightly, she rocked slowly on her chair, resisting the urge to cradle her head or just let the matter pass. Her vision flickered and, just for a moment, she thought she could see something before her. A miniaturised version of something darkly familiar.

_The figure from the light_

For the first time that she could recall, she'd remembered something that had been in one of her nightmares. That unknown thing that had been inside that column of brightness. But, as soon as she blinked, it was gone, and all her wide eyes could see was sickening, crimson blood.

_No! Wait . . . I-_

A sudden, massive crashing sound shook Rukia from her terrified, frozen state, and, a few moments later, she realised she'd fallen off her chair. Getting up carefully, and checking for possible bruises, the teenager blinked. Why had she fallen off her chair? No matter what she did, even replicating the possible before accident scenario didn't help her remember why she'd suddenly appeared on the ground, sprawled in a rather undignified way.

'Are you alright?' the shout only just reached her ears. After all, the floors seemed to be quite thick, either that or it was the material that they were made of which caused sound difficulty when passing through.

'I'm fine!' she shouted back because there was no way Ukitake would hear her otherwise, 'I just fell of my chair! Give me a minute, I'm coming down,'

As Rukia left her bedroom and took the steps two at a time, she couldn't help but smile. No matter how confused she was, Ukitake was always there to cheer her up and make sure she was okay. Just as Byakuya made sure she had everything she needed, education and health wise, Ukitake and Kaien were always there to make her laugh and make her feel welcome.

They were a family, even if it was a slightly dysfunctional one.

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<p>

And so it all continues. Interesting similarity between boiling water and out of window incidents there too . . . wonder if anyone would've noticed had they actually been on neutral enough terms to share such things. Not likely, I'm thinking


	6. Chapter 5: Black Out

_Chapter 5: Black Out_

As she stepped onto the grounds of Karakura High School, Rukia couldn't help the small smile that appeared on her face. Her sleep had been undisturbed, and she felt well rested. Dinner had been surprisingly good too, and she'd been sure to compliment Ukitake. He'd shocked her almost out of her skin by saying her brother had cooked it, not him, and she'd had to spend quite a while recovering. After all, take one look at Byakuya, and you do _not _think 'home cook'.

She was quite early, and had no intention of going inside, so, consequently, the teenager moved over to one of her favourite trees and easily climbed up into the branches, perching herself near the trunk so that she had something to lean on. From her high vantage point, she could see quite a bit of the grounds, and so it wasn't hard to miss Kurosaki as the orange haired teenager walked past.

Ignoring him with surprising ease, Rukia found herself thinking of her whole life in general. She'd begun at that orphanage, where Hisana had left her after their parents had died, and her future hadn't looked that bright at all. Then she'd met Renji, and things had become a little more bearable, as she could share her problems and take her frustrations out on something that wasn't inanimate. Unfortunately, Renji had done the same, and his version of 'friendly punches' were a little bit more vigorous and _painful _than hers.

The boarding school they'd attended together had also been another rather depressing place, all dark and old fashioned. When she'd heard that Kuchiki Byakuya, someone that, even if they'd been separated from the everyday world, both she and Renji had heard of, wanted to adopt her, she'd almost thought she'd been dreaming. Renji hadn't hesitated in pinching her, just to prove that she was awake, and then encouraged her to go. And, despite the sadness she'd seen behind his enthusiastic and jealous demeanour, she'd left.

Karakura Town had been so different to anywhere she'd been before, that she'd almost suffered culture shock. Luckily, or unluckily, it depended on your opinion, but she'd once again been isolated. This time in the Kuchiki Estate. But Ukitake and Kaien were there, so it was all good, no problems at all.

They'd studied, played, broken stuff by 'accident', and been plain annoying, but it was all alright because they were 'just growing up', in Ukitake's words. Byakuya had often declined to comment when they'd suddenly rush into his house and show him an earthworm Kaien had almost stepped on, or a rabbit plushy that Jushiro had bought Rukia. He'd probably had the hardest time dealing with them and, considering that it was only him and Ukitake around, that really wasn't surprising.

When Kaien had declared he was leaving soon to begin some more studying, they'd all been supportive. At the airport, Rukia could recall laughing and smiling while she secretly cried, and waving to her friend as he left for the beginning of a journey that would take him to Kyoto, Tokyo, and eventually, home. He'd promised to keep in contact, and to make sure to come back as often as he could.

_The __cheek __of __that __guy, _Rukia couldn't help but smile a little more, _He __hasn__'__t __visited __once._

If she continued on in chronological order, from when she'd been fifteen and a half . . . there wasn't anything else to remember. One minute, she'd been saying goodbye to Kaien, and the next she'd woken up and been told by Ukitake that she was going to be sent to Karakura High School.

_My __life __is __a __pretty __odd __one, _somehow, the thought didn't bother her, _And __I __don__'__t __think __that__'__s __going __to __change._

As her thoughts drifted over different experiences she'd had in the past, Rukia felt a mild headache growing up behind her temples. It was annoying, especially because school would be starting soon, but she couldn't help but keep going through her mind, combing it for anything that would unlock the secret to that year and a half that was lost.

She couldn't recall that she'd done the same thing the day before, it was something that, to her, had never happened. But still, the number of times she tried to remember, they were few and far between. So why now was she starting to think of her past almost every day?

_What is this feeling . . . ? This cold, harsh emptiness . . . it hurts. My chest . . . my chest hurts. There's . . . there's a pain in my head. It's bad . . . I'm scared._

Kuchiki Rukia was never scared, nothing could ever get the better of her. She was strong, independent, proud . . . not a weak, frightened child.

_It hurts . . ._

She was falling, glassy eyes only half open, body strangely relaxed, bag falling from her shoulder, hitting the ground beneath her. Time seemed to slow . . . why hadn't she hit the ground yet? She wasn't to the bottom, time was slowing . . .

_I'm not begging you to help me . . ._

Dull pools of violet caught the splash of brilliant orange as Kurosaki Ichigo turned around, a look of mild surprise on his usually scowling face.

_My existence twists the ribbons of fate . . ._

She hit the ground hard, body thudding into the sun warmed dirt, head snapping back violently.

_I'm unnecessary . . ._

Eyes closed. Breathe slipped slowly from a bruised chest. There was hardly movement to her limp form.

_Ba-bmp Ba-bmp Ba-bmp_

All she could hear was her heartbeat.

The world went black.

* * *

><p>'She may have post-traumatic amnesia,' an unfamiliar voice filtered through the darkness, 'This means that she may not remember what happened directly after the incident, and possibly before, being in a state of confusion. Also, she may be unable to remember things like her name or where she is for a short period of time. Once her continual memory returns, then PTA will be considered resolved. Do you have any questions?'<p>

'No, no, I understand,' that was Ukitake speaking, 'Thank you very much,'

'Alright then, just tell one of the nurse's when she's awake and I'll come back to finish my examinations,' the man, the other speaker, seemed to leave the room.

Rukia carefully forced herself to open her eyes, despite the fact that her body protested weakly, and she blinked in the sudden bright white light, coming from the fluorescent tubes above her. She was lying in what appeared to be a hospital bed, very white, pristine and clinical. The smell of hospital assaulted her conscious senses and she winced slightly. Looking around, indigo eyes came to rest on a weary looking Ukitake. He looked about a hundred years old, and the white hair wasn't helping.

'Ukitake?' her voice was raspy and harsh as if she hadn't had any liquid in a while, 'What's going on?'

'Oh!' trying not to jump to far out of his seat, Jushiro looked up, 'Kuchiki! Wait, do you know who you are?'

'I'm Kuchiki Rukia, and this is a hospital,' having heard what the doctor had said previously, Rukia had no trouble answering the question, 'But why am I here?'

Ukitake looked relieved to the point of exhaustion, 'Well, we're at the hospital. It's early afternoon, and-,' seeing her blank expression, he stopped and then began at the very beginning, 'I got a call saying you'd fallen out of a tree and were being taken to Karakura General Hospital because you were unconscious,' he took a long, ragged breath, 'The doctor thinks you might have post-traumatic amnesia, but you seem alright now. Can you remember what happened before and after your fall?'

Rukia listened to what Jushiro had to say, and then she frowned. She couldn't recall why she would've fallen from a tree. Usually she could balance on one hand upside down on a firm branch. The only time she could remember falling in relatively recent years was when she was thirteen, but then again, that was because Kaien had pushed her. Which had led to the Byakuya telling him off incident.

'No, I was sitting up there because school hadn't started yet, and then, well, I must've fallen. But how come the ambulance got there so quick? There wasn't anyone around,' Rukia was confused, like the doctor had said she might be, but she certainly still had her wits about her. Seeing someone she thought she recognised walk past the half open door, she turned to Ukitake and asked, 'Who runs this hospital?'

'The director is Ishida Ryūken, why?' the white haired man wondered if she was more dazed than she appeared.

'Hmm,' privately, Rukia filed away the knowledge that her classmate, Ishida Uryū, had a father who ran Karakura's hospital, 'Alright then, can we go?' she didn't really like hospitals, although the reasons for that aversion were unclear, even to her. It might've had something to do with the occasions when Ukitake was brought in after a particularly bad bout of his illness though.

'Well, the doctor wanted to check you over one last time, now that you're awake,' Jushiro sounded very apologetic, but Rukia didn't know why.

But that was before the nurse brought the stiff floorboard of a doctor into the room and she was forced to answer questions like, 'what's your name', 'how old are you', 'what day is it', and a whole load of other really annoying questions like that.

* * *

><p>'I never want to go to hospital again!' Rukia's declaration was accentuated by a light stamp of her foot, 'That was absolutely terrible. That man was so condescending and bland,'<p>

'Sorry,' Jushiro couldn't help but feel a bit responsible, although he hadn't actually done anything, 'I'll take you home now, I'm sure Byakuya will be worried,'

Rukia didn't comment on anything he said, instead she just sighed deeply, and then asked a question, 'Ukitake, can I tell you a problem I've got?'

Worried that she was going to talk about a certain 'orange haired jerk', Ukitake just nodded slowly, concentrating more on driving that listening, but only by choice.

'Well, the other day I was going to tell you about this,' she quickly refined the language she'd been about to use, 'Person at school. He'd being a real,' once again, it was hard not to just speak the words that were rather unacceptable considering who she was talking to, 'I-idiot,' she stuttered because she hadn't been able to think of anything else to say.

'Really? And who's this person?' Jushiro wasn't sure he wanted to know at all, although he was certain now, that his previous thoughts had been perfectly accurate.

'Kurosaki Ichigo,' Rukia huffed, still unsure why she couldn't just let that guy go on with his rude life without him popping into her head all the time.

The white haired man smiled as best he could, 'And why do you have a problem with him?'

Rukia didn't bother limiting her language this time, because she was too cross to think straight, 'Because he's a jerk-ish bastard who doesn't deserve what he has,' she'd heard all about his family when Inoue and some friends of hers had sat near her that first day, 'And he hates me, and I hate him,'

Ukitake tried not to let his expression show, and to remain looking composed. The truth was, he was very taken aback by Rukia's little outburst, and he was wondering if maybe he should skip planning and go talk to Byakuya again immediately. This whole situation was getting way out of hand, and it almost seemed so terrible that it was funny.

'Oh, okay then, that's very interesting,' he knew he sounded a little strained, and he was glad that Rukia was sitting in the back seat of the car, 'I hope you two sort things out then,'

'Fat chance of that happening,' Rukia almost spluttered in her indignation, 'I will not exchange another word with that guy until he's worked out why he doesn't like me,'

And that was what she'd decided, but since her mind worked strangely, she wasn't sure if she was going to be able to stick by that idea, no matter what.

* * *

><p>Ukitake left Rukia in the kitchen eating, and made another trip to the main house. He really needed Byakuya to stop being such a stick in the mud and start letting things go a bit more. Walking into the larger building, and wondering how the Head of the Kuchiki family could sleep there at night, alone, Jushiro sighed heavily. He hadn't been able to plan for this one, he'd just have to trust his instincts.<p>

'Ukitake, I see you're back,' as if by some supernatural ability, Byakuya appeared at the foot of the stairs, moving across to sit with poise in one of the chairs.

Following suit, the white haired man took one of the other seat and, as soon as he'd settled himself, he began talking, 'I want to talk about Kuchiki. Today, and the first day she went to school, she almost mentioned _him_. Could this be a problem?'

'Not at all, we all understand Rukia, and consequently there should be no issue,' Byakuya's voice was completely level and calm, not letting on a single one of his emotions.

'I know we know, but he's made her hate him, she even declared it in the car on the way home from the hospital today,' Ukitake was forcing himself to stay calm, knowing that shouting could bring on a bout of his illness, as well as make Byakuya ignore him.

'I suspected as much,' there was still no emotion in the man's tone, and his slate grey eyes were closed serenely.

'You _what_?' Jushiro was now in shock, and he leant forwards in his chair, 'Don't tell me you sent Kuchiki to Karakura High School for that reason as well as the others. Don't say that you hoped something like this would happen,'

'You know as well as I do that letting her wander around the second house is not wise,' obviously ignoring the other man's accusations, Byakuya spoke coolly, 'Sending her to that school was the best option, no matter who she might meet there,'

'I have to agree,' annoyed, but realising that it was the truth, Ukitake sighed deeply, 'So what should we do now? Something clearly happened today, and it might happened again,'

'Leave things the way they are. He isn't interfering, she isn't worried,' it looked like the black haired man was preparing to leave.

'She had a black out today,' Jushiro repeated that fact, rubbing his hands together slowly, 'And post-traumatic amnesia,'

'I know,' the reply was so simple, delivered in such a calm manner. Like he didn't care.

Something made the white haired man lose some of his astonishing self-control, 'Is it wise to continue running the risk of her doing it again?' he hoped that, if he kept saying the same thing over and over, something might actually happen.

Byakuya opened his eyes slowly, surveyed Ukitake for a moment, silently, and then he spoke with absolute impassiveness, 'It might be unlikely, but she's trying to remember,'

'What?' somehow, even though he was the one living in the same house as Rukia, her brother always seemed to know more about what she was feeling, thinking, and wanting, 'Really? This is bad!' he clenched his hands tightly, 'Why was she sent to Karakura High School then? Why? We all knew he was going to be there, so why?'

Byakuya didn't reply, he just stood up, and walked off up the stairs, not pausing once before disappearing into one of the rooms there.

Ukitake waited a while longer, weak with shock and concern. He wondered if the cold man he'd just been speaking to actually wanted Rukia to remember, and he wondered if he wanted that as well. Sighing continuously, the white haired man rose and left the main house.

_Que sera sera . . . Whatever will be, will be._

Wondering where he'd got that saying from, Jushiro began the night time walk that would take him back to the second house.

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<p>

Okay, I'm thinking things might seem to get a bit rushed from here on in, but that's just the way it's going to be. This part was really only an introduction, so while some people, including myself on occasion, may wonder how so much can happen in a single week, that's just what happened.

So, consequently, more plot movement and certain character interactions coming up in the next few chapters. And if things get really jumpy, I'm really sorry . . . you can blame me


	7. Chapter 6: Two Days, Today's

_Chapter 6: Two Days, Today's_

Sitting in the classroom, and ignoring the curious stares she was receiving, Rukia let her mind drift. It seemed that all of her fellow students somehow knew about the falling from tree incident, and she could practically hear their whispers of how she 'should be more careful'. It was annoying, but she could deal with things like that. She could only hope that the whole accident hadn't made people think she was weak, because weak and dependent was something she certainly was _not_. It was a nasty thought that she might be viewed as useless and unable to do anything without assistance.

The night before, she'd recalled seeing Kurosaki just before she'd fallen, and for some reason, she had the odd suspicion that it had been him who'd called the ambulance. But why would he? And it wasn't like he'd stopped ignoring her, or halted the glaring thing.

Rukia had already decided to confront him and, as Misato dismissed them for lunch, she took her chance and began to walk towards his desk. She was about to call out, when a familiar grinning girl appeared before her, 'Inoue,'

'You know, I can't believe that today we're having beans for lunch,' Rukia wasn't sure who the teenager was talking to, and if she was referring to herself as 'we' or if more people were going to eat _beans_.

'Er,' the petite teenager took a step back, trying to regain her personal space that had been so suddenly invaded.

'And then I was thinking about, well, so much stuff! It's really exciting, and I can't wait for next Butterflyday!' as suddenly as she'd appeared, Orihime raced off again, ducking to avoid a hug from Chizuru, and then leaping aside to avoid Tatsuki's kick, which had been aimed at the pink haired girl hiding behind her.

Rukia sighed and, when she looked back to Ichigo's desk, he was already gone, _Dammit_.

'Kuchiki,' Misato called out suddenly, beckoning the black haired girl over, 'A word please,'

'Yes?' Rukia wondered what was going on now, having given up on trying to actually get anything done.

'Are you alright? You really gave us all a scare yesterday,' pushing up her glasses, the teacher smiled slightly, 'You're lucky you were only lightly bruised, you could've broken a bone,'

'I'm fine, really,' pausing, Rukia suddenly had the urge to ask a question, 'May I how I got to the hospital?

'In the ambulance, I think,' she didn't seem to understand her student's question, which was understandable, because it was an easy mistake to make.

'No, I mean who called the ambulance?' she honestly wanted to know, because if the teacher just said it, then she mightn't need to speak to Kurosaki.

Misato hesitated and then she smiled, 'I did, and after that, I got someone to call Ukitake Jushiro for you,' it wasn't like she could betray someone's trust after they'd asked her to do something, but still, lying to Kuchiki wasn't nice.

'Oh, alright,' not sure if she fully believed that, Rukia turned and walked away. Things weren't sorting themselves out. Every day just meant another problem or question was added to her mental pile. Indigo eyes blinked slowly and the teenager tried to ignore the urge just to give up. She wasn't that type of person, she was determined, strong, and something like this could never faze her.

* * *

><p>Another evening came around, and Ukitake once again went to speak to Byakuya. This time, instead of waiting downstairs, he went and found the office with the light on, walking inside and waiting silently until the manager of the Sixth Division acknowledged his presence. Rukia was back at the other house, working on homework and probably just snoozing, so it was the perfect time to get away.<p>

'I think it would be better to let her remember,' finally unable to wait any longer, the white haired man spoke. He didn't expect a reply, and he didn't get one, but that didn't stop the words from flowing, 'I'm asking that he be allowed to speak to her properly,'

There was a tension filled pause, and then Byakuya swivelled his chair around, 'Contact him. Ask him over tomorrow night, but tell him to stay away from Rukia until then,'

Ukitake hid his excitement, and anxiety, and nodded, 'Alright then. Thank you,'

Privately, he knew that _both _of them knew that things couldn't go on the way they were. Rukia couldn't go on the way she was, even if she didn't realise anything was wrong.

'Don't thank me yet, this could still have its consequences,' Byakuya's cold voice brought the other man back to reality, 'I do not approve of this,'

'But you said yes, so that's what's going to happen,' Jushiro was determined, the expression showing clearly in his green eyes, 'Goodnight,'

And with that, the white haired man exited the room, left the main house, and decided to take a long evening walk around the extensive, beautiful gardens. After all, he couldn't do his phone call with Rukia around, and the peaceful grounds of the Kuchiki Estate were the perfect place to think.

* * *

><p>As he entered the room that only he ever set foot inside, Kuchiki Byakuya bit back a sigh, rather uncharacteristically. He opened the doors to the exquisite cupboard that held Hisana's picture, and looked inside calmly. Standing there, with no one about but himself and that photo, he began talking, quietly, but with all of his usual pride and pensiveness.<p>

'Am I doing the right thing?' there were no chairs in the room, but he never sat down there,' The risks of what Ukitake plans to do are great,' finally, he did sigh, very slowly, 'I originally allowed Rukia to go to Karakura High School,' another pause, then he closed the cupboard doors once more, 'The results of this, it may be alright,' both his gaze and his voice hardened, 'And if it's not, then I will make him suffer,'

Turning in a way that sent his black hair flying, along with the customary scarf that he wore around the house, the Head of the Kuchiki family swept from the room.

* * *

><p><em>Friday, I <em>_can__'__t __believe __it__'__s __the __last __day __of __my __first __week __at __school_, Rukia sighed and tried not to fall asleep at her desk. For some reason, she was exhausted, and nothing that Misato was saying was helping her mood. She was a little annoyed, because when she'd arrived, not only was Kurosaki there, he was also _not _glaring. But still ignoring.

Rukia found herself thinking that if emotions were edible, she'd be able to taste his confusion and absent minded musings. It was the best thing that could have happened, but for some reason, she didn't feel glad at all. In times like this, she was really going to have to talk to him. Just like Kaien sometimes said, sometimes you've got to face your fears to conquer them. But, in this case, that statement would be amended to 'sometimes you've got to face useless jerks in order to have the slightest inkling of what they're thinking'.

_Kaien, at times like this, I wish I could ask you what to do, _she twitched suddenly, _But if you'd reply that I should either just ignore him or bash him up, then I'd kick _you. _Sometimes your thinking can be a little bit odd . . . just like mine I guess, or else his behaviour wouldn't bother me in the slightest._

'Kuchiki?' Misato peered through her glasses at the petite, raven haired teenager, 'Are you alright?'

'Yes, why?' Rukia didn't understand what the problem was, 'Is something wrong?'

'Not exactly, but I told everyone to leave for break five minutes ago,' the teacher wondered what could possibly have possessed the girl in a way that she didn't want to leave the classroom. Normally you'd say it once and a second later the room would be completely empty, the door still swinging on his hinges.

'Oh, sorry, I'm just a little preoccupied,' cursing Kaien for making her miss out on something like that, because he always took up hours when she thought it had only been a few minutes, Rukia stood and left the room.

* * *

><p>'Why aren't you glaring?' Rukia, wondering why she cared, why she bothered at all, approached Ichigo and asked him what she'd planned to, 'Because it's a little odd,'<p>

'I'm tired and preoccupied,' Ichigo did glare then, and then he sighed harshly.

'Do you really hate me? Because I thought I hated you, but now I just want to make sure,' indigo eyes were half closed, but there was a certain trusting look in the deep depths that was uncharacteristic and certainly uncalled for, considering the situation.

There was a long pause, and then, after a moment's hesitation, the orange haired teenager snapped out three words, 'I don't know,'

'What? What are you on about?' she thought it would have been easier if he'd just said yes. As it was, his answer confused her greatly, and she couldn't help but think of Kaien for just a second. He would've known what to do . . .

Ichigo turned on his heel and walked off, shaking his head, and without another word.

Rukia was left wondering what was going on, and why he would've changed his opinion. That, or this was all some kind of sick joke. She was about to go off and sit somewhere quiet, when a strong hand grabbed her shoulder.

'What did you do to Ichigo?' it was Tatsuki, and she wasn't smiling, 'I've known him for a long, long time now, and I know him pretty good. So why is he all uncertain, gloomy, and, and _sad_?' to accent her question, she shook the other girl hard.

'I haven't done anything,' shaking Arisawa's hand off, Rukia turned to walk away, 'He just doesn't like me, that's all,'

_I __think_, she wasn't sure about anything anymore. At least not between the two of them.

'Well you better not have done anything, or else,' it was a threat of sorts, and it was just enough to infuriate Rukia.

'Look, if I wanted to be glared at every day, then I would've made certain I was in Kurosaki's class,' she was snapping, 'So just leave me alone or ask him why the hell he has such an issue with my existence!'

Tatsuki shrugged like she didn't get it, and then she walked off, possibly to talk to Ichigo. Rukia, still annoyed, couldn't help but ask herself why everyone seemed to blame her.

* * *

><p>Kurosaki Ichigo walked up the long, picturesque driveway that led to the two mansions on the Kuchiki Estate. When he got to the place where the road split, one part branching right, leading to the second main house, and the other continuing forward, he paused, just for a moment. Then, sighing, he continued up to the larger of the two constructions.<p>

'Kurosaki,' a familiar voice, Ukitake, called out from the front steps, 'Good evening,'

'Hi,' Ichigo shoved his hands in his pockets and walked over to stand beside the white haired man, 'How are you?' he went through the customary phrases with little thought.

'Fine, and I want to thank you for calling the ambulance, and me as well,' Jushiro knew he wasn't wrong, and that it had been Kurosaki's voice on the other end of the phone when he'd been informed that Rukia had fallen out of a tree and was being taken to hospital.

'No problem,' Ichigo could still hardly comprehend what was going on, it seemed like a dream, so unrealistic and fragile.

'Let's go inside,' leading the way, Ukitake gestured for Ichigo to sit, glancing at the already positioned Byakuya as he did so. The black haired man was resting in one of the armchairs, watching Ichigo with a piercing, seemingly all seeing gaze.

'What do you want to talk about?' feeling a bit awkward, the orange haired teenager decided to speak up, shifting his weight in the chair, 'Ukitake? Byakuya?'

Kurosaki Ichigo was probably the only person brave, or stupid, enough to call Kuchiki by his first name. He wasn't told off, but it was obvious from the slight twitch above Byakuya's eye, that the informality wasn't appreciated.

'We've decided that it would be better to let Kuchiki,' once again, all three knew which one Ukitake was referring to, 'Speak to you properly,'

Ichigo felt very awkward now, 'Right, thank you very much. But . . . at the moment, Rukia really doesn't like me much,' he knew it was his fault.

'She'll be fine, don't worry,' Jushiro tried to be comforting, but in truth, he was worried too.

'If you hurt her, you will not go unpunished,' Byakuya, despite the fact that his eyes were closed, and his posture as relaxed as you'd ever see it, emanated a sort of chilling power. The threat wasn't a light, meaningless one at all.

Ichigo listened, and, although he respected the man's care for his sister, he didn't want such a responsibility placed only on him, 'Look, by allowing me to speak to Rukia, you've already acknowledged the risk. Finding out the truth probably _will _hurt her, it's practically inevitable, but I think it's true when I say she can't really move on with her life properly until everything is made clear. She's already hurting because she doesn't know,'

Byakuya didn't reply, but Ukitake took advantage of the silence to say, 'You're allowed to speak to her, and you're allowed to reveal things to her. But take it all very slowly, too much of this sort of information would injure her, possibly beyond anyone's ability to heal,'

'I know,' Ichigo spoke very seriously, glancing at Byakuya as he did so.

'Letting you, Kurosaki Ichigo, speak to her properly is one thing, but allowing her to realise the truth about everything is unwise,' the stoic voice seemed to, just for a second, show some kind of emotion that said that Byakuya did care. But it was gone almost as soon as it had appeared.

'I agree, Kurosaki, please keep that hidden from Kuchiki,' Jushiro was saddened that anything had to be withheld, but this time, it really was inevitable.

Ichigo just nodded silently, not moving much at all. It was hard to take everything in at once. It was all almost too good to be true, and only _that _kept things perfectly real.

'When are you planning to speak to her?' Ukitake wondered aloud, leaning back in his chair.

'Well I'm definitely going home now, but probably Monday at school. School is neutral territory,' the orange haired teenager couldn't help but smile slightly at the thought.

Byakuya got up to leave suddenly, and, once he'd disappeared, the other two exited the house. Ukitake walked with Ichigo until the road split, and then he began to walk towards the second mansion.

'Goodbye, Kurosaki,' smiling softly, the white haired man silently wished the teenager the best of luck.

'Will she ever know the full truth?' Ichigo sounded melancholy, not looking up from the ground.

'I don't know, but sometimes the truth can be dangerous,' Ukitake knew it to be a fact.

'When's Kaien coming back?' the orange haired teenager glanced up with a lopsided grin.

'I'm not certain,' Ukitake smiled slightly too, and then he turned again and walked away.

_So today's events . . . are they for the better? Or will everything just get worse . . . ?_

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<p>

Sorry for a very jumpy chapter, there was a lot to be said, but at different times and places. Sorry, sorry.


	8. Chapter 7: This is?

_Chapter 7: This is?_

_Inside that white, white room, indigo eyes focused and Rukia fell silent, then she sighed and continued, 'The next day, the Saturday, was uneventful. I had a calligraphy class with my Nii-sama, but he seemed tense, and then Ukitake and I cut up some bonsai trees,'_

_The beautiful woman inclined her head softly, 'It is my understanding that some things you say now, you did not know at the time,'_

_'That's right,' it had been hard then, and Rukia could still recall how it had felt to be so excluded from everything, 'But I don't know . . . there was something she still wasn't remembering, 'I don't know about-,' once again, a pain echoed around in her head._

_Looking down at the crimson ribbon curling around her arm, she couldn't help but think it was familiar, and that meant that there was still a lot which was hidden from her. Or maybe she'd known it, at the time, and had since forgotten . . ._

_'Just continue, do not be afraid,' lavender hair catching the light breeze that sprung up from nowhere, the lady gestured gracefully for her to continue, 'Please,'_

_'Alright. The next thing that I can remember, is something I'm sure I only forgot later, after I'd remembered again,' it was confusing, how you could forget something twice, but this talking, this sharing was bringing absolutely everything back to her. Things that she'd once recalled, but then had lost after . . . something . . . something had happened again._

_'Please, just talk from where you were,' seeing that she was cringing again, the woman directed Rukia's attention back to the part of her life she'd been speaking about._

_'Sunday, it was a Sunday. The day when things started happening, and when my life got even more complicated,'_

* * *

><p>Ichigo had given up. So what if Monday was a better day, and so what if the school was a better place. He really didn't care, there was just some sort of urgency that had woken him early in the morning, and set him on a direct route to the Kuchiki Estate. As he walked, the orange haired teenager listened to the sounds of people leading their everyday lives. He frequently glanced down at the road, just to check that he was still walking on the pavement, not a foot in the air. Somehow, although there was certainly going to be a nasty confrontation before everything was smoothed out, he felt elated. So much lighter than he had sitting at his desk in school, trying to focus on what Misato was saying, and distract himself from the girl sitting just a short distance from him. There were things that had changed, certainly, and that was the sad thing. But there were also things that had remained the same, and those were the ones he hoped would show themselves when the time was right. It sounded cliché, but he really didn't want to get beaten to a pulp before he had a chance to explain. That would be both disappointing and <em>icky<em>.

As he was rather wrapped up in his own thoughts, Ichigo failed to notice a small blue and white dot that was steadily getting closer and slowly morphing into a very familiar figure, 'Oh cra-,' not finishing, the teenager cast around for somewhere to hide. Even if he did want to see her and talk to her, this wasn't the place he'd had in mind. Actually, he hadn't had any place in mind, but he certainly knew this was one of the worst choices. Now, if they shouted at each other or Rukia hit him, they were right on the side of the road, cars passing slowly, and people wandering by. It was not a good situation at all.

'Why do these things always happen to me?' giving up on hiding, because if she'd already seen him, and then she watched him duck behind a trash can, it wouldn't be the best way to say that he wanted to talk to her and sort out their rough relationship.

* * *

><p>Rukia was feeling decidedly unlucky. She had good eyesight, and even if she hadn't, spotting the conspicuous orange haired teenager who went by the name of Kurosaki Ichigo wouldn't have been that hard. She was unconsciously grinding her teeth, and her hands were tingling as if they wanted to break something. Like a bone, perhaps . . .<p>

She'd been going into town to do some grocery shopping. Ukitake had said it wasn't necessary since they usually had all of that delivered, but she'd insisted that she wanted to anyway. It was better than hanging around the house with nothing to do but stare at walls and brood darkly over your problems.

Like that big problem currently walking towards her at a relaxed, slow pace, with his customary scowl in place and his hands shoved in his pockets.

Not willing to run away, because she wasn't weak, and that type of thing was below her, Rukia kept walking until she was just a few paces from Ichigo. Then she paused briefly before saying, 'Hello,'

There was another silence, in which neither of them moved a muscle, and even the light wind didn't cause them to sway, and then Ichigo said, 'Hello,'

Once again, all noise was sucked from the little bubble the pair of them were unhappily stuck inside, and there was more awkward quiet. And more . . . and more . . . and more . . .

'Shut up!' finally snapping, both of them yelled at the same time, crossing their arms in unison, and taking a step back. The actual words they'd said were completely out of place, considering how the atmosphere had been before the two loud shouts shattered that silence, but neither one of them cared. Not about that . . . or the stares they were receiving by passing people.

Rukia glared. Ichigo glared. Rukia contemplated speaking. Ichigo contemplated running. Rukia wondered if she should just knock the jerk out and go on with her business. Ichigo wondered if he should pick her up, put her in the nearest trash can, and then run as far away as possible. Rukia wondered how easy it was to get off with murder. Ichigo ran out of things to wonder . . .

'Er, sorry about that,' in the end, it was the orange haired teenager who decided to make an attempt at peace, 'Look, I just wanted to apologise for being such an idiot at school,' he watched her carefully blank face closely, 'And I was just wondering if you'd rather talk about the problems we have instead of continuing on in this state of . . . animosity,'

Rukia wondered who she was talking to, because it couldn't be Kurosaki Ichigo. It was either his twin, who'd have to be yet another Kaien lookalike, or someone with a really freaky ability to look like whoever they wanted. Although why they'd choose Ichigo, she didn't know. And anyhow, even if this was an imposter, then why were they trying to talk to her. Why would they care about the hostilities between Rukia and Ichigo? This wasn't making any sense at all. She could feel the shock trying to strangle her, but still, maybe whoever this guy was . . . was right? Maybe she should actually talk to Kurosaki about the state of ill will between them. Maybe Kaien actually was right about first impressions . . .

'How are you?' Ichigo wondered why Rukia hadn't said anything. It looked as though her entire body had shut down and gone into 'defence mode', not showing any emotion , not making any noise, not showing any signs of life . . . it really was a worry when she did this.

'Get lost!' like a cork popping from a bottle, 'defence mode' Rukia vanished, replaced by 'attack mode' Rukia, and then the petite teenager turned on her heel and began marching back towards the Kuchiki Estate. She'd forgotten about her shopping, she'd forgotten about everything. Nothing mattered except getting away from that twisted hypocrite.

Ichigo watched her go in mild surprise. He knew that 'defence mode' Rukia kept all cruel or confusing words from reaching the girl, and that 'attack mode' Rukia kept people away through harsh assaults, both physical and verbal. The same thing, really, but they were so different . . .

Ichigo wanted Rukia to remove both of those barriers again, because things had been so much easier. He wondered if he should keep going to the Estate, but then he decided that maybe he should go and have a lie down somewhere just to recover. Muttering to himself like a mad man, the teenager turned and walked off aimlessly.

* * *

><p>Rukia burst into the second house in a flurry of blue jacket, jeans, black hair, white blouse . . . she needed to find Ukitake as fast as possible. She needed to talk to someone who'd listen. That one requirement immediately ruled out Renji and Byakuya, since they would talk over her, and ignore her respectively.<p>

Ascending the nearest staircase, Rukia wondered if the white haired man would be in his special office. It was a possibility, so she should check there first. The only other options of where he might be were the gardens, the main house, or somewhere in _this_ house.

As she ran down the hallway, Rukia realised that the door marked by the colourful sign was open. She knew she wasn't supposed to go inside, and she didn't want to infringe on Ukitake's privacy, but if he was there . . . she didn't stop running.

One hand extended, Rukia slammed the door wide open, her own momentum carrying her to the middle of the surprisingly large room. It was a study, yes, as there was a desk and chair, but it was also so much more . . .

Violet eyes widened in shock and the petite teenager turned slowly, having trouble focusing her vision, 'What is this?' her voice was empty with her astonishment, 'Ukitake, what is all of this?'

As Rukia kept turning, ignoring the way she was becoming dizzy, she slowly took in more of what was around, even though it seemed that she was spinning faster and faster. It was unrealistic, like she'd been dropped into a fantasy world. Some place other than the room she'd entered just moments earlier. This wasn't just a study . . . it was something out of a twisted dream or a gilded nightmare. Rukia felt her gaze focusing and then blurring as she stared at the walls as they seemed to whirl around _her_.

Covering almost every available space on the white painted walls, were paintings, all framed in elegant black. But it wasn't the frames that had caused Rukia such surprise, it was the images, the pieces of art themselves.

Kaien laughing, sleeping, running . . . Rukia too. And then, focusing on what she almost refused to believe . . . Kurosaki Ichigo.

_Why __. __. __. _her thoughts were spinning a lot faster than her body, _Why __is _he _in __some __of __these __paintings? __Why __are __these __things __here, __in __this __room? __When __did __Ukitake __get __them? __Who __. __. __. __who __painted __them?_

She couldn't fathom why these walls were so carefully covered with so many paintings. And they weren't bad ones either . . . they almost seemed like photos. But still, no matter what they seemed, the fact was that they were there, and the notions they put forward weren't ones Rukia wanted to understand. She didn't want Ichigo to be in those pieces of artwork, didn't want something as confusing as that to change the way she thought at all.

_Ukitake!_ it was a silent scream, one filled with a cold, wariness that she hadn't felt in years.

* * *

><p>Jushiro wandered back inside, putting his hat on a nearby stand, and then he decided to go find Rukia. After all, she should be back, and he could tell she wasn't in the kitchen, because apart from the face that the fire alarms hadn't gone off, he couldn't hear her.<p>

Walking up the stairs towards her room, he had an odd thought. It was one of those powerful ones that punch you in the head and make you act as soon as you've recovered.

_Oh no, I didn't . . . did I?_

It had been such a nice looking morning, and, from the single window in his special study, he'd been able to look out over one of the more 'worked on' gardens. The flowers were blooming, the cherry blossom trees looked almost ready to burst open . . . it looked too good to resist. So he'd left the room where he stored some of the most precious things of all, and had gone out to wander around the grounds. He hadn't even checked to make sure the door was locked, unlike he usually did, so what if . . .

Green eyes widened and the man increased his pace. He felt a cough tickling his throat but ignored it as best he could. This was no time to let his illness get the better of him. Looking forwards, Jushiro saw that the door to his study, marked with its colourful sign, was open.

Now, Ukitake Jushiro was a very calm, collected, honourable, dignified, compassionate, and caring person, and he did _not _curse. However, as he reached his study doorway and saw Rukia standing in the middle of the room wearing a slightly dazed expression, the number of swearwords, some of which were rather original, that ran through his head would've put the most experienced curser to shame.

'K-kuchiki, I'm sorry,' Ukitake rationed that apologising, although for what he didn't know, might be the best thing to do first. Was it an 'I'm sorry' for not telling her about the paintings? Or was it an 'I'm sorry' for something a lot deeper than the hundred or so different shaped and sized canvases in their frames on the wall?

'What is all of this?' she made a sweeping motion with one arm, clearly indicating all four walls of the kite shaped room, 'Who did all of this? Why . . . why wasn't I ever allowed in here?' she sounded very wound up, like a spring about to break, 'And why . . . why is _he _in them?' she pointed accusingly at an innocently smiling Ichigo, 'Ukitake, tell me the truth!'

Jushiro closed his eyes briefly, just in case this was a nightmare and he'd be able to wake up, but when he opened them again, Rukia was still standing lost in the middle of a room of memories, 'I'm really, really sorry, Kuchiki,' his voice barely wavered, despite the emotional turmoil swirling around in his head, 'Please . . . just leave this room now,'

'Who. Painted. These?' she ground out every word, some other emotion igniting deep in her soul, 'Tell me,' her violet gaze sharpened and bored into his head.

Ukitake let go of his hesitations and fears, he couldn't stand to see Rukia like this, so unknowing and suffering because of it. He took a deep breath and met her gaze squarely, 'You did,'

* * *

><p>Rukia felt the silence crackle with electricity and the air seemed to turn to glass, each inhalation cutting her lungs and scraping down her throat as she gulped in ragged breaths, 'What?'<p>

Ukitake didn't reply, but he seemed to waver and go all shimmery. Assuming that he wasn't doing something akin to the worm, but standing up, Rukia guessed that her vision was going funny. That realisation came seconds before an explosion of white pain washed through her mind and she fell to her knees, clutching her head.

'Come on, I'll take you to your room,' seeing how much pain she was in, Jushiro hurried over, appearing to Rukia like he was doing some serious hip swaying, and then he pulled her to her feet again, supporting her as they moved away from the study, 'Let's go. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please . . .' he wasn't even sure what he was asking.

Laying Rukia down on her bed, Ukitake moved over to the dresser and pulled a silver key from his pocket, fitting it into the lock of one of the smaller drawers, and pulled it open. Inside was the medication that he was only ever to give Rukia if something like this happened where she had the chance of falling into a coma, going into seizures, or suffering extreme shock and possible brain damage. The number of terrible things that could happen if something wasn't done was too many, for Ukitake's liking, and the doctors didn't even know which ones were more likely to affect her. In fact, they'd never had a case like her at all.

The white haired man knew that Rukia disliked hospitals with a vengeance, and he could guess that was due to all the time she'd spent in one last year. Although she mightn't remember even staying in Karakura General Hospital, because she'd still been so unstable then.

Turning back to Rukia, Ukitake drew the clear liquid from the tiny glass bottle into the syringe, 'Kuchiki-,'

'You've got to explain everything to me,' it looked like she wanted to run, but obviously she was too weak to do so, 'Ukitake-,'

'Please just let me do this,' hating himself for what he knew he had to do, Ukitake moved over to the side of her bed. He knew how this type of shot worked. All you had to do was, in simple terms, stab it into the patient's arm and then depress the plunger. It didn't matter where on the arm, but the shoulder was, supposedly, the best place.

'No,' Rukia could tell that a side-effect of whatever that liquid was, was that she'd fall asleep, she just knew it, and she didn't want to sleep, 'I need to talk to you-,' she could see Jushiro trying not to look at her, and she knew he didn't want to do this. She knew that _he _knew that she hated needles.

'The pain will get worse,' he didn't know how she could bear talking. She was so desperate to understand that she put all of that pain aside, but it would keep building up. Especially after something as sudden as what had happened, 'I'm sorry,'

Even as Rukia turned and tried to pull herself away, the needle met the skin of her upper arm, punctured it, and then it was gone, having already injected her with the liquid inside, 'Ukitake, why-,'

Her conscious mind faded and then she slid into sleep, still attempting to rise, still fighting the agony that had paralysed her body.

_What type of secret is this . . . that they have to go to such lengths to keep it from me . . . ?_

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<p>

Poor Rukia, and Ukitake, and possibly Ichigo too . . . that really probably wasn't how anyone expected things to go. Rukia's asleep now, after suffering emotional trauma, Ukitake's suffering emotional trauma, Ichigo's probably sprawled under a tree somewhere suffering from emotional trauma . . . it's a traumatic world, no?


	9. Chapter 8: Ichinii

_Chapter 8: Ichi-nii_

Ichigo dimly heard his phone ringing and he fished around in his pocket until he located the device. He was almost home, having spent the whole day wandering about, and it was a good thing too, since it was dark and Yuzu would be worried.

'Hello?' flicking open the phone, he spoke absently, not bothering to check the number before he answered the call.

'Kurosaki,' Ichigo blinked as he recognised Ukitake's voice, 'Would it be impossible to ask that you come over right away. Kuchiki had an . . . episode,' it was clear that the white haired man disliked using the word 'episode', but hadn't been able to think of any other word to replace it.

'Er,' looking at his front door, just a few metres away, Ichigo twitched, 'Sure, Ukitake,' he wondered how Yuzu would kill him when he got back later, 'I'll come right away. Is Rukia alright?' it was a ridiculous question, considering everything, but anyway . . .

'She's asleep at the moment, I had to give her a needle,' Jushiro sounded guilty, even through the phone, 'So how long do you think you'll take to get here? I don't want to rush you, but-,' there was a sound as if someone was moving about, 'Kuchiki, and I don't mean Rukia, wants a word and he looks like he's coming over now,'

'Oh hell,' Ichigo wasn't in the mood to cope with the infuriatingly calm and stoic man tonight, 'Okay, I'll hurry,' he broke into a run, 'See you soon, Ukitake,'

Flicking his phone shut, the orange haired teenager sighed heavily before increasing his pace to a spring. He could only hope he'd make it before Byakuya's usual minimal amount of tolerance for him dried up completely.

* * *

><p>Ukitake sat silently, facing Byakuya, as they waited for Kurosaki in the second house's entrance hall. The white haired man hoped, although it was probably in vain, that the Head of the Kuchiki house wasn't going to be too harsh on the teenager. The situation with Rukia wasn't fully Ichigo's fault. It was his, Ukitake's, and he wanted to take full responsibility. Even if Rukia had been looking for him after an incident with Kurosaki, that still didn't mean the teenager was at fault. But still, Jushiro wondered if he was slightly glad that he no longer had to keep that secret from Rukia, that huge secret that he had been in charge of.<p>

Did he want Rukia to remember everything? With Ichigo? With her art?

'Where is Kurosaki Ichigo?' Byakuya spoke in a quiet and deadly serious tone, waves of cold air seeming to radiate from his form. Ukitake hoped the sakura would bloom soon because the stoic man always seemed a little less icy when they did.

'He said he was coming,' the other man tried to stay calm but in truth, he was still so shaken by the day's events, 'Wait, I can hear footsteps,'

Both of them paused to listen, and it was suddenly very apparent that someone was thundering up the driveway towards the house. Although it could have been a really pathetic excuse for a robber, they could both tell it was Kurosaki.

'Am I late?' sounding as if he'd failed to wake up in the morning and almost missed some important examinations, Ichigo shot through the partly open doors and into the room. He was sweating and panting, not so surprising considering that he'd run the whole way, but he looked more concerned about the two people sitting before him rather than himself, 'Sorry,'

'Kurosaki Ichigo,' Byakuya barely moved his hand, but it was a clear gesture that the teenager should sit down too.

As Ichigo did so, Ukitake began speaking, 'Today, Kuchiki went into _that _room. It's my fault since I left the door open,' there was a silence before he continued, 'I gave her the medication and she's sleeping now. But,' his hands clenched slightly, 'I don't know if she'll remember going in there. I think the medicine just calmed her down, made her sleep . . . stopped the mental breakdown. I don't think it makes her forget,'

After yet another pause, Byakuya spoke, 'Is it still considered a good idea to allow Kurosaki Ichigo to meet my sister,' it was hardly a question.

'Of course,' although he disliked arguments, Ukitake was prepared to fight for this case, 'What happened today was something none of us could have foreseen,' he briefly wondered if Byakuya had already known as soon as it happened, but he didn't say anything, 'What Kurosaki needs to do is talk to Kuchiki properly,'

The raven haired man stood and walked over to the door, stopping just before he stepped outside, 'You know the consequences, do as you please,'

'Byakuya,' Ichigo spoke suddenly, jumping up from his seat, 'I-,'

'Kurosaki,' Ukitake put a hand on the orange haired teenager's forearm, subtly telling him to let it drop. As Byakuya disappeared into the night, the other two were left alone in the grand entrance hall to the second part of the Kuchiki Mansion.

'You should go home now, I'm really sorry for calling you all the way over here just for that,' Jushiro couldn't believe that Byakuya had only wanted to say that, 'Come back tomorrow, if you could. I know you've got school,'

'Alright then,' sighing deeply, the teenager moved over to the door, silently wondering what type of excuse he could give Yuzu, if she was even awake now, that was, 'Thanks Ukitake,'

The white haired man didn't reply, he simply waved a hand and then turned to go up the stairs. He'd decided to check on Rukia before he went to bed, so that's where he was going to go now.

* * *

><p>Ichigo was annoyed. Walking back towards his house in the dark and still cool weather wasn't what the main focus of his negative attention was on though, that position was reserved for a certain Kuchiki. Not the short one . . . the <em>tall <em>one.

He grumbled silently as he ran along. That guy obviously had a huge problem with him, although he couldn't say for sure whether it was because he wasn't perfectly respectful, or if it was because of Rukia. Something to do with Rukia . . . although what that was, he didn't know either. It was an infuriating situation, always had been. He'd be his usual self, and, if his guess was correct, Byakuya would be as well. But it seemed like their personalities really didn't coincide nicely together at all. It was a rather pressing problem, or, at least, it had been . . . before. So did he need to bother worrying about what Byakuya really thought about him anymore? Not that he actually wasted any time worrying about such a stupid thing. But still, being free from that constant harassment would be nice.

'He's. Just. So. Stubborn,' Ichigo forced the words out between each of his deep breaths, 'But. I. Guess. I'm. Like. That. Too,'

Giving up on talking aloud, because it took to much effort and he was really tired from all of the running back and forth, Ichigo resorted to complaining silently. He was so deep in negative thought, that he almost ran straight past his house.

'Dammit,' slumping against the door, he realised that he'd forgotten his house key that morning, so, hoping that he wasn't going to wake anyone up, the orange haired teenager moved over to the window in the kitchen. As usual, it was unlocked, so sliding it open was no problem. The big issue came when he had to get in through that open window.

'I really hate this,' levering himself up so that he had one arm and one leg through the window, Ichigo complained quietly. He was doing a lot of complaining, but really, this sneaking in through windows was not what he'd had in mind after such a stressful day. In the past, he'd only had to use the 'in through window' method maybe three times, but that didn't mean he was used to it.

'Crap,' finding that he'd caught the fabric of his pants on something outside the window, Ichigo went limp. Now he had both arms and one leg inside, actually, all of him apart from his right leg had made it through without serious incident.

'KYAAAA!' Yuzu's scream could have woken the neighbourhood, it was just so loud, 'Help me! It's a murderer! A thief! A robber! A burglar! A BURGER!'

Ichigo watched her run back and forth screaming, and he couldn't work out why she hadn't just turned a light on to see his face. And why was she saying he was a western savoury food?

'Yuzu! Calm down!' he tried to talk to her, but his voice came out a little strangled due to his awkward position. Just talking made him slip a little further into the room, and he could feel the right leg of his pants tearing. At least the rip would be at the bottom, and he was glad they were just some of his old pants, not new ones. Still, that wasn't his main problem right now . . .

'He knows who I am! Ahhhhhhh! Help me! A burger knows who I am!' she wasn't stopping her shouting, or her running around the room, 'Karin! Dad!'

'Yuzu!' hearing another rip sound, Ichigo suddenly found himself falling. Seconds later, he was sprawled on the ground in an untidy heap, head ringing and his whole body aching.

There was a pause, where all was silent, and then Yuzu spoke again, moving over to the light switches, 'Ichi-nii? Onii-chan?' as she flicked on the light, she gasped, 'Oh my! I thought you were a burglarer,'

'What's a burglarer?' wondering how she'd managed to mix 'burglar' with 'burger', Ichigo pulled himself to his feet, 'Yuzu, I was stuck in the window, you could've just helped me,' he sighed and rubbed his head, 'I forgot my key this morning and I didn't want to wake you up,'

'Oh Ichi-nii!' crying now, Yuzu ran over and hugged her brother tightly, not seeing his wince of pain, 'I'm so sorry! I overreacted!'

'Where's Karin and Dad?' Ichigo looked around, surprised that neither one of them had come when Yuzu called, 'Are they asleep?'

'No, last time I looked they were having a staring competition,' the girl didn't sound concerned that neither her sister, or her father had come to see if she was alright, 'It looked pretty intense. I just came out here to get some snacks, it looks like they'll be at it all night,'

'Snacks?' suddenly realising he was hungry, Ichigo blinked at her, 'Can I have some?'

'Only if you come and be a referee with me,'

Although he technically had school the next day, and it was quarter to eleven now, Ichigo nodded, 'Alright,'

After all, he didn't really know whether he'd be attending Karakura High School the next day, or if he'd be somewhere else.

* * *

><p>'You blinked!' Karin yelled at Isshin, still not blinking herself, and she slammed her fist onto the table, making both sleepy referees jump, 'I saw you, you blinked! You blinked! You're dead! You lost! I won!' she was crowing victoriously.<p>

'No I didn't!' sometimes, and this was one of those times, you'd never be able to tell that Kurosaki Isshin was a father of three, and not a younger-than-teenage child, 'You're lying!'

'I am not!' not breaking eye contact with her father, the black haired girl waved at Ichigo and Yuzu, who were trying to focus their eyes and stay conscious, 'Referees! What did you see?'

Looking at Isshin's puppy dog face, and Karin's fearsome scowl, Yuzu made her decision, 'He didn't blink,'

Ichigo waited a moment longer, until smoke was coming from Karin's ears, and then he said quickly, 'I saw him blink,'

In truth, neither of them had seen anything, as they'd both been asleep with their eyes half open, but they weren't willing to admit it. So what if it was one thirty in the morning? They had a very important match to oversee. Until the end, it was their pact. However, pact or not, they weren't willing to agree on some disputes, and this was one of them . . .

'He did not!' Yuzu spoke hotly, half trying to be convincing, half trying to wake herself up.

'He did too!' Ichigo was doing the same, although he looked scarier because of his scowl and the fact that he was a little bit bigger than her, 'I saw it, I watched it happen!'

'You did not! You were asleep!' covering her mouth with her hands, Yuzu gasped in horror, realising what she'd let slip, 'Er, I mean . . . I saw him and he didn't blink!'

They both looked across at Karin and Isshin guiltily, only to find both father and daughter fast asleep.

'Both of them have their eyes closed, and I didn't see who fell asleep first,' Yuzu sighed, but she was content. Especially because now she could go to sleep as well.

'Hey . . . Yuzu,' Ichigo was uncertain whether or not he should say this, whether or not it was the best idea, but he did, 'Do you remember this girl?' he took out his phone and showed her a half blurred photo. It was too bad girl had moved or else it would have been the perfect picture. A day on the Kuchiki Estate . . . with the sakura blooming.

'I think I do,' Yuzu frowned, trying to make out details on the screen, 'But I haven't seen her in a long time, like . . . more than a year,' looking up at her brother, she almost missed the sad look on his face, but still, she knew it had been there, 'Why are you showing me this Ichi-nii?'

Ichigo was silent for a moment, and then he hugged the brown haired girl tightly, letting the screen on his phone go black, 'Thank you, Yuzu . . . for everything,'

'Ichi-nii?' the girl sounded concerned, and she tried to pull back so that she could see his face, 'What's going on? Why are you sad? Is something wrong? Why does it sound like you're leaving for a majorly long time and never ever coming back?' she didn't know why, but it seemed to her that something large was beginning . . . and it was all centred around that beautiful girl in the photo. Or maybe . . . maybe it had begun long ago, but only now was anyone actually moving towards the . . . was it the truth?

Closing her eyes, Yuzu relaxed and sighed happily. No matter what, no matter how things became, she knew her brother would always be there to protect her. Her, her family . . . . and anyone else that he held dear to him, anyone else that he loved.

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<p>

Maybe Ichigo and Rukia will actually talk like mature people soon . . . hmm, let's soo, what's the possibility of such a thing happening . . . probably about 50%, what do you think . . . ?

Anyhow, this chapter was a bit of a filler one, but I still hope it was good fun


	10. Chapter 9: First Meeting, Recollection

_Chapter 9: First Meeting, My Recollection_

Ukitake sat on a chair beside Rukia's bed, watching as she blinked slowly, eyes losing focus before clearing again. Her delicate fingers were curling slowly, as if they rejected the orders of movement she gave them, and she still seemed so lethargic. The drug was a powerful one . . . well, it had to be in order to stop a mental breakdown and then force someone into unconsciousness. The sleep was necessary, for some reason that the white haired man only half understood, but it didn't mean he liked giving those shots any more than he normally would. It was so hard for him, and he could only hope that, if Rukia remembered what had happened this time, she wouldn't hate him. After all, the last needle he'd given her had been half a year ago, and she hadn't remembered later . . . those were darker times, though.

'Kuchiki? Can you hear me? It's Ukitake here,' he spoke in the least abrasive way possible, just in case he caused her further discomfort.

'Don't talk like that, it makes me feel stupid,' due to her cloudy mind, Rukia entirely forgot to be polite, and the white haired man knew that later she'd bash herself up about it, 'Yes, I can hear you,' she turned her head to look at him, suddenly coming into a full state of awareness and realising exactly who she was talking to, 'Oh Ukitake! I'm so sorry! That was so rude of me! Forgive me please,'

'Don't worry, I know you'll still be feeling a little out of it for a while,' he smiled kindly, glad that she still didn't seem to hate him, 'Can you remember what happened?' he held his breath in apprehension.

'I went into your private study, which I apologise for, as I intruded on your space . . . and the walls had paintings on them. Of me, Kaien and . . . Kurosaki. You said I'd painted them and . . .' she frowned as she searched through her dim recollections of that time, 'And then you brought me back here and I was being disagreeable, and then you gave me an injection,' she winced in a mixture of fear and hatred.

'I'm glad you hate the needles and not me,' Jushiro spoke without thinking and then he jumped when she blinked at him in surprise, 'Oh no, I never doubted you Kuchiki!'

Rukia looked at him, so flustered as he thought she'd stop respecting him and treating him as a friend and a family member, and she began to laugh softly, 'You're too kind, Ukitake,'

The white haired man smiled back at her and then he went all serious, 'Now Kuchiki, I'm going to explain something important to you, so please listen careful,' once she'd nodded, he continued, 'Alright, well . . . the thing is, you have amnesia. Retrograde, not anterograde,' he paused, and then, after taking a deep breath, he continued, 'You've met Kurosaki Ichigo before, about a year and a half ago, but you forgot all about him. Do you understand? You two were friends, if you'll believe that. Kuchiki? Are you alright? Do you get what I'm saying?'

'I get that I have amnesia,' Rukia was in a state of shock, although she'd expected something like that as soon as Ukitake had started speaking, 'But I can't believe I was his friend,' she glared at her hands, 'I must've been an idiot,'

'Er,' hearing her very grumpy and withering tone, Ukitake wondered if he should have said that bit about Kurosaki so soon after she'd woken up. He'd hate for her to decide that she'd rather be asleep than be that 'orange haired jerk'-s friend. Or former friend . . . the white haired man wasn't sure how things would pan out, but he hoped everything would be alright.

'I can't believe that,' she sat bolt upright, not unsteady at all, 'That idiot! I'm an idiot! Why,' she omitted a few choice words and then continued, 'Would I have been his _friend_?'

'How about you talk to him,' holding out his hand, Ukitake passed her a square of paper with a phone number on it, 'It's better to discuss your problems, just like-,'

'Kaien used to say,' Rukia smiled wryly, 'His first impression speech,'

'That's right,' shaking his head, Jushiro stood and left the room, waving, 'I'll see you later, I want to go for a walk in the gardens,' he'd noticed the cherry blossom trees before, and he felt like wandering around beneath the first falling petals, 'Goodbye,'

'Later,' not thinking about politeness again, Rukia grabbed her phone from her dresser and dialled the number while she got dressed quickly, 'Hurry up and pick up,' she was trying to calm down. She'd do Kaien proud even if she had to hit herself to _stop_ herself from killing Ichigo. Even if she died valiantly in an attempt to get over her first impression . . . actually no way, she was not dying because of that jerk. That was the last thing she was going to do. She would never, ever, in a million years, no matter what happened, give up her life for him. He was a useless jerk who didn't deserve what he had. And so what if she'd been his friend, he hadn't been so friendly when they met again, so there! Fuming, but still trying to stay calm, Rukia tapped her fingernails on the back of the phone, still waiting for Ichigo to pick up.

'Hello?' an infuriatingly familiar voice sounded, and then there was silence.

'Kurosaki?' Rukia was worried that he'd hung up, because she was _not _going to ring again, 'Are you there?'

'Kuchiki Rukia,' there was something akin to disbelief in his tone, 'I'm not going to ask where you got my number from, but-,'

'Ukitake gave it to me, and stop being a lying bastard because I know you know that I have amnesia and we knew each other before. Cut the crap and get over here. You know where I live too, I'm assuming,' she was practically hissing the words, almost forgetting her resolution, but picturing Kaien's disappointed face to keep herself from completely losing it.

'Well then,' now his tone was different, serious and with a hint of amusement, 'It's a good thing he told you, cause I'm already here,'

As the line went dead, Rukia scowled ferociously at the cheek of that guy, before schooling her features into a mask of nonchalance, 'Alright then, let's play a game, shall we? I'll be Nii-sama, and you can be the village idiot, sounds perfect . . . let's go,'

* * *

><p>'Kurosaki,' Rukia walked down the stairs and over to where Ichigo was sitting in one of the chairs, placed so conveniently in the entrance hall, 'I have some questions,'<p>

The orange haired teenager noted her stiff, proud demeanour and he almost sighed, 'Okay, ask away,' he hid his smirk before adding, 'Kuchiki-_sama_,'

Rukia hid her death glare and smiled slightly instead, 'Firstly, how do we know each other?' she sat down opposite him, still graceful and dignified.

'We met when you were wandering around the middle of town. It was about a year and a half ago,' he paused, remembering, 'It was just after Kaien left,' he didn't notice her stiffen, 'And Ukitake said it was unusual for you to be out since you usually stayed on the Estate,'

Rukia was about to ask her next question when the room seemed to dissolve and she was in her own mind, reliving a memory.

* * *

><p><em>Kaien was gone, Ukitake was sleeping, Byakuya was working and she had nothing to do. It was no good, in her opinion, because now there were long periods of time where staring out the window was the most interesting thing of all. Rukia sighed in annoyance and looked about. It wasn't her first time in the middle of Karakura Town, maybe it was her third, but still, she didn't know her way around at all. It didn't bother her, all she needed was something to occupy her mind. <em>

_Sighing, the petite teenager turned to glance across the road, when something flew at her. Muscles reacting automatically, a simple reflex action, Rukia reached up and caught the object, staring at it while her brain caught up with what had happened._

'_Someone's hat,' she murmured the words to herself as she gazed at it, noting the pale pink flowers to one side, 'I wonder who owns it,'_

'_Hurry! Onii-chan! Karin!' it was a girl's voice, quite high and sweet sounding, 'It's getting away,'_

_Seconds later, the owner of the voice appeared around a corner, having been running along the street perpendicular to the one Rukia was currently on. She had pale brown hair, quite short, and a big smile, although she looked worried about losing her hat._

'_Oh,' seeing the object of her concern in someone's pale hands, the girl looked up, 'Thank you for catching my hat,' she sounded uncertain as if the astonished teenager might be about to run off with her possession, 'Could . . . could I please have it back?'_

'_Sure,' Rukia walked over and gave her the hat without hesitation, 'Sorry,'_

'_Don't be!' the girl smiled wider, her eyes almost closing completely, 'I'm thankful,' leaning forwards, she added in a softer tone, 'Although I'd say you're welcome after this,'_

'_I would have, but thanks and, you're welcome,' wondering how the girl had such confidence when talking to strangers, and thinking that maybe she was able to sense that the teenager she'd met didn't mean her any harm, Rukia let herself smile slightly._

'_Yuzu! Don't just run off like that, what if you got run over by a car, or mugged, or kidnapped, or stolen?'_

_The girl, Yuzu, blinked in surprise, and turned around, peering about as if she expected to see something . . . or someone, 'Hmm, that's my Onii-chan,' she frowned slightly, 'But I can't see him, Karin either,'_

'_Yuzu,' a black haired girl, perhaps the same age as Rukia's new acquaintance, ran up suddenly, 'For once Ichi-nii's probably right! Anyhow, we've got to get to the park or else our crazy dad will be doing handstands and freaking everyone else out!' not even glancing at Rukia, Karin grabbed her sister's hand and pulled her off._

_Rukia watched them go in mild bemusement and then she turned to look back the way the black haired girl had come from, expecting to see this brother they were both mentioning rather frequently. He was presumably also the one who'd spoken about being kidnapped in approximately three different ways. She blinked as something orange appeared in her line of sight. It was a very bright and noticeable orange too._

'_Er,' seeing that the colour was actually someone's hair, Rukia thought she'd point out where the two girls had gone, if this was there brother, that was, 'Are you related to a Yuzu and Karin?' she paused, waiting patiently for an answer, as the other teenager approached._

'_Yeah,' seeming rather flustered, having lost both his sisters and almost one hat as well, he wasn't fully focusing on whoever had just spoken to him, 'Did you see them?'_

'_I saw them and spoke to them too,' Rukia pointed in the direction they'd vanished in, 'They went that way, if you're wondering,'_

_It was interesting, she thought, that she was able to speak with relative ease to this stranger. Normally she'd never exchange words in a situation like this. Looking closer at the teenager, she realised that maybe her confidence came from the fact that he looked so similar to Kaien._

This is really strange, I can't believe they look so similar_, she thought to herself as she watched whoever this boy was, taking deep breaths and trying to calm down._

'_Sorry,' the sudden apology startled Rukia, 'I'm Kurosaki Ichigo, thanks for helping me,'_

'_Right,' now exactly sure how to react, the teenager bowed slightly, 'Kuchiki Rukia,'_

'_Rukia,' the complete lack of any formality, despite the fact that they'd only just met, as well as the fact that it sounded as if he was trying out her name, made her feel strange._

_Consequently, she did what she always seemed to whenever a situation got confusing, 'You better hurry, they ran off pretty fast,' once again, she gestured in the right direction, 'Go that way,'_

'_True, they are fast when they want to be. Thanks again, Rukia. I'll see you around,' without another word, Kurosaki Ichigo turned and raced off, calling out loudly and seemingly oblivious to the stares he received from the people he passed._

'_How exactly do you figure?' muttering to herself and wondering what he meant by the last part, Rukia began wandering on again, still puzzling over what had just happened._

* * *

><p>Sitting opposite Rukia, Ichigo watched as she stared straight through his head, and probably straight through the wall as well. It seemed like she was in deep thought, and he assumed that meant she was reliving some memory that had final broken free from the cold grip of the amnesia. He recalled their very first meeting himself, and he almost chuckled. It never ceased to amuse him, although at the time he hadn't noticed, that she'd purposely tried to get rid of him. And it had worked, because he'd left, but still . . . it was funny.<p>

As he continued to think about how shocked her face had appeared when he'd so casually said her first name, the urge to laugh just kept getting stronger. It wasn't his fault that he didn't always remember to be polite, or recall the traditional ways of respect. Covering his mouth, and not surprised she didn't notice him move, Ichigo tried to stifle his chuckles by suffocating himself.

Unfortunately, it all became too much and, because he was still covering his mouth, he ended up snorting so loudly that Rukia jumped about an inch into the air, looking about like a bomb had just gone off.

'S-s-sorry,' he couldn't speak straight and he knew he'd fall off his chair soon as he was jerking around like he was having seizures, 'Go back to remembering, I'll be alright,' roaring with laughter now and sounding positively agonised, Ichigo _did _slide from the edge of the plush armchair. As he rolled around on the ground trying to stop laughing because this wasn't exactly the best way to change Rukia's opinion about his for the better, Ichigo decided that it was impossible. She'd probably change his status from 'jerk' to 'insane moron', or something nice like that. But really, with such a memory replaying over and over again in his head, there was nothing to do except let the manic laughter out.

'You're pathetic, you know that,' having finally come back to her senses, Rukia let the memory move from the centre of her thoughts and then she stared down at Ichigo who was gasping as he lay on his back, sprawled on the smooth white marble floor, 'I can't believe you can laugh at a time like this,'

'What's this time like?' Ichigo blinked, staring at her upside down from his surprisingly comfortable position, 'Rukia . . . don't you have more memories to get back to? I mean, one meeting doesn't mean your friends with someone. Don't tell me you're giving up and accepting everything without question,' he was taunting her.

Answering his first question, Rukia sighed, maintaining her composure with ease, 'This time is one where you're supposed to be quiet so that I can remember in peace. If you want me to recall the time when we were _supposedly_,' she stressed the word, muscles tensing slightly, 'Friends, then shut up,' smiling sweetly and dropping some of her Nii-sama act, just so she _could _show some facial expression, she continued, 'And then, once you're quiet, I can continue recalling. If that was our first meeting,' she almost gagged on the word 'our', 'Then I can't imagine how stupid you'll be in the next one,'

Ichigo paused for a moment longer, unwilling to move, but then he sighed and stood up, resuming his position on his chair, 'Okay, I'll be quiet,' seeing her pointed look, he added, 'Or at least I'll try,' then, unable to resist, he quickly stuck a, 'Kuchiki-_sama_,' on the end, with emphasis on the 'sama'. Knowing Rukia, which he did, he knew she disliked being referred to in, considering the situation, such an overly polite way. However, when she spoke to Byakuya, she used the suffix 'sama', but that was because she looked up to him so much. It had been the source of many mock arguments in the past, arguments which usually entailed him calling her 'Kuchiki-sama' and her calling him 'Ichigo-chan' in the most condescending way possible. Which was, unsurprisingly, extremely condescending.

Schooling her glare, and wondering what he was thinking about to have actually gone quiet, Rukia took a slow, deep breath. There were at least two more memories directly linked with her meeting with Ichigo, and she wanted them to become clear. Somehow, the thought that they'd become friends didn't seem so impossible now that she'd relived their first meeting, so perhaps there was actually a side to Kurosaki Ichigo that wasn't a complete idiot.

Twitching, and earning herself a curious glance from the orange haired teenager himself, she spoke aloud, 'But I doubt it,'

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<p>

Rukia and Ichigo's first meeting, thanks to Yuzu, I suppose . . . and, in the present, they seem to be remaining at least a semblance of maturity and calm . . . civility.

So, more of Rukia's past coming up, and probably something on her art too . . .


	11. Chapter 10: I Was Your Friend

_Chapter 10: I Was Your Friend_

_Close your eyes, calm you soul, listen to your heartbeat . . . be enveloped in the memory. Don't let it consume you . . . don't let it rip your sanity to shreds . . . these are such innocent recollections . . . but would you survive the pain of what still lies dormant. Deep inside your mind, feel the flow of your life . . . the first of the frozen thoughts are breaking free._

_Are you ready?_

* * *

><p><em>Rukia walked along the side of the road, peering half-heartedly into shop windows and listening to the not so quiet roar of traffic as the cars shot passed, some coughing black smoke, others screeching as they vanished around bends. She was, once again, without anything to do so, on recalling the last time she'd gone into town, she'd decided to do so again.<em>

_Although the probability of such an event occurring was ridiculously slim, Rukia still found that she half hoped Kurosaki Ichigo might, just by chance, walk by in the busy bustle of people. She wasn't sure if it was just because he reminded her of Kaien, or if she actually might want to get to know him because she . . . she what? Sensed something about him that made her think he'd be a good friend? What the hell . . . that was such a ridiculous suggestion. It was probably more like her just wanting to meet more people since she'd always been so isolated, not that she'd minded until Kaien had left._

Wouldn't it be cliché if I turn this corner, _indigo __eyes __locked __on __the __nearest __bend, _And I ran into Kurosaki. If I do, I'll laugh and die happy. Not that that makes any sense . . . maybe my sanity left when Kaien did. Anyhow, if I _do _run into him, then I _will_ laugh, I mean-

'_Oomf!'_

_Looking up, Rukia almost laughed anyway when it turned out to be someone she didn't recognise at all. Still, the fact that she'd hit anyone at all was funny. However, the glare in the punk-like man's eyes and the posture of his body suggested that he wasn't too happy and was probably about to beat her until she was paper thin and spread out on the ground._

_But it wasn't like she was going down without a fight._

Now I'm thinking it would be cliché if Kurosaki appeared to beat this jerk up before I can, _wondering __why __in __the __world __she __kept __thinking __about __things __that __were __cliché _and _Kurosaki __Ichigo __as __well, __Rukia __got __ready __to __defend __herself, _I think I'm suffering from withdrawal and that anyone who reminds me of Kaien is going to stick in my head. How annoying . . . having the original taking up my thoughts is bad enough, let alone a lookalike!

_The big man looked like he was about to lash out, but then he saw something behind her and ran forwards, pushing her aside and charging off. Whirling around, Rukia saw that the object in the man's new path was none other than Kurosaki Ichigo._

This is unbelievable! Why is my life so pathetic that things like this have to happen? At the very least, I could have saved him from gangsters instead! But now what . . . should I go and say hello? I don't really feel like it and that could be interpreted as strange behaviour. After all, we only met once before, and it's not like we're friends. But how do you get to know someone if you don't talk to them? Why do I even want to get to know him? Surely not just because of Kaien, , _she trailed off, watching as the orange haired teenager easily dispatched the big man, sending him flying down the street, _Oh well, I'll just keep going. I'm sure he wouldn't want to be bothered again, last time was bad enough.

_Turning, she began to wander along the footpath again, eyes roaming aimlessly over faces and shopfronts. There wasn't any real reason for her decision to _not _go and say hello to Kurosaki, but still, she wasn't sure what 'normal' behaviour in such a situation would be and, as such, she avoided it completely. Just in case._

'_Hey you! Rukia!'_

_The aforementioned teenager spun around, eyes widening slightly. She silently cursed herself for not getting further away, because now she had no idea what to do or say. then again, if she hadn't turned, she could've just pretended not to notice . . . or something._

'_You,' coming to a stop at the less crowded end of the street, Rukia waited for the orange haired teenager to get his breath back, having apparently sprinted through the crowd just to say . . . whatever he was about to say._

'_Er, should I interpret that in a positive or negative way?' straightening, Kurosaki raised an eyebrow questioningly, leaning back a bit so that his shoulder blades rested against the building._

'_Neither, it was a neutral statement,' Rukia sighed deeply, wondering why someone couldn't just appear to remove her from this confusing situation, 'Anyway, what do you want?'_

_Ichigo seemed a little taken aback, but since he'd already figured out from before that her 'people skills' weren't that great, it didn't bother him much, 'Just to say hello, I guess,'_

'_Well . . .' feeling way out of her depth, she just stared at him blankly, 'Aren't you going to say it then?'_

'_What?' realising that she'd taken the 'hello' part literally, Ichigo rubbed the back of his head in an attempt to hide his amusement, which he predicted wouldn't go down well with her, 'Oh, right . . . hello,' it made him feel understandably awkward._

_Rukia continued to gaze at him expressionlessly for a moment longer before saying, 'Hello,' in what could only be described as a 'completely and utterly deadpan' tone._

'_Is there something you were supposed to be doing in town today?' trying to lighten the situation, Ichigo supplied a conversation starter. He almost regretted coming over to say hello now, but his upbringing had taught him to be polite and greet people when he saw them around, even if he'd only met them once. It was good manners, his mother had said._

'_No,' Rukia was staring past him in the direction she wanted to go: home. It wasn't helping that he seemed to be wanting to talk, or at least he felt inclined to since she wasn't saying anything. Why couldn't she just converse easily with this boy, like she had with Kaien?_

'_SON!'_

'_Eek!' jumping about a foot into the air, Ichigo whirled around to face her, reaching out to grasp her shoulders, 'Hide! I'm telling you . . . HIDE!'_

'_Huh? Wha-?' as she found herself being shoved around the corner of the building and into some bushes, Rukia thought she should protest. But still, he seemed to be wanting to 'protect' her from something. Looking about in her new leafy hideout, she sighed, before deciding to peer out and see what was going on._

'_What are you doing, my boy?' a man who might somehow resemble Kurosaki Ichigo shouted at the orange haired teenager in a loud and cheerful voice, 'Lurking around such empty streets, I'm very suspicious. Tell me all about whatever's going on here-,'_

_There was a thud sound and Rukia blinked in mild surprise as Ichigo knocked who she supposed was his father, down to the ground._

'_Just shut up and go away! I thought you were supposed to be grocery shopping with Yuzu!' the teenager was shouting too as he hauled his father to his feet again and began pushing him in the direction of wherever he was supposed to be. There was a pause and then Ichigo shouted out again, 'Don't move until chaos has been removed, I'm warning you!'_

_'Are you talking to me?' the man blinked, not understanding how those words applied to him since Ichigo _was _actually in the process of moving him, 'Ichigo?'_

_Rukia __sighed __again, _Is that the best way of sending a coded message that he can think of?

_Peeking out again and seeing that both father and son had disappeared, she straightened and dusted off her clothes. It seemed like she had been saved, albeit in the most unlikely of ways, but now she realised that it really hadn't been so bad talking to Ichigo._

_Wondering how she could continue to both contradict herself and keep on pondering the orange haired teenager when really she had nothing to do with him, Rukia began walking in the direction of the Estate again._

* * *

><p>Finding herself in a pale darkness all of a sudden, and assuming that meant she was no longer in a memory, but not in reality either, Rukia blinked a little. It still didn't make sense how she'd felt such a connection with Kurosaki even before getting to know him, which is what she guessed had happened.<p>

Chuckling tonelessly, she began speaking to herself, 'Well, if it's like,' she paused for a moment before continuing with a twitch above her eye, 'Destiny or something paranormal like that, then I'm going to start laughing and never stop. How can something so strange happen to people like this?' she scowled deeply, 'And why does it have to be me? This linking of lives is a little too _out __there_ for my complete liking,'

She was about to continue her little thought process, when suddenly she was wrenched from the white black and into another memory.

* * *

><p>'<em>My, my, what have we here?' Ukitake blinked as he watched Rukia walking along the side of the street, seemingly in conversation with someone who had shockingly bright orange hair, 'Kuchiki,' there was a happy tear in his eye, 'I'm so glad you made a friend who isn't Kaien. People need lots of friends, or at least most seem to, so I'm happy that you're making new acquaintances. And here I was thinking your reserved personality would prevent anything like this from happening,' suddenly realising what he'd said, he quickly amended himself, not that anyone heard, 'No! I never doubted your ability to open up! Never!'<em>

_There was a moment when Jūshirō continued his happy tear session, and then he heard something that made him look up, 'Oops,'_

_'Ukitake,' Rukia seemed to be trying not to laugh, or was she just controlling her anger, it was hard to tell, 'You're in the middle of the footpath and speaking very loudly to yourself, people will think you're not alright _here_,' she tapped her head, trying not to think about what she'd heard him saying. She knew she had a difficult personality, at least for some people, but it was the fact that he'd noticed and been worried that concerned her._

'_Sorry, sorry,' looking up at the other teenager, Ukitake blinked in surprise, 'Ooh! It's Kaien!'_

_Ichigo wondered just who this man was. The white hair, floral handkerchief, and his apparent relation to Rukia was all very confusing. Not to mention the fact that he'd just been called 'Kaien', whoever that was._

'_Excuse me? I'm Kurosaki Ichigo,' not sure what exactly what to say, he just introduced himself in a basic, simple way. Beside him, Rukia was stifling chuckles, and he wondered why._

'_No, no,' she bit back the laughter with an effort, 'Ukitake's just saying that you look like his ward, or at least,' peering at the man and noting how he seemed to be wanting to hug Ichigo, she added quickly, 'That's what I think, but I don't know if it's true,'_

'_His ward?' having heard the word 'ward' in relation to hospitals, Ichigo was now very confused, 'Wait, does that mean someone he-,'_

_Rukia cut him off, 'Ukitake is Kaien's official guardian. Or he was until Kaien turned eighteen,'_

'_Oh,' feeling a little stupid, Ichigo nodded, 'Right,'_

'_Come over,' Ukitake still seemed in a state on intense emotional excitement, 'Come over to the Kuchiki Estate! I'm sure Kuchiki won't mind,'_

'_Kuchiki?' feeling even more confused, the orange haired teenager just echoed the name._

'_Not that Kuchiki,' pointing to Rukia, Ukitake smiled, 'Her older brother, Kuchiki Byakuya,'_

_Thinking the name sounded familiar, Ichigo tried to process everything that was going on, 'Are you sure you're alright inviting someone random over to your house?'_

_'I'm sure you're not just _someone _if Kuchiki here is talking to you,' Jūshirō turned and led the way to the car, not waiting to see if they'd follow, but knowing both would, 'And it's fine,'_

'_Alright then, okay,' still not certain about the whole situation, Ichigo just wandered after him, 'And who's Kaien?' he still wasn't totally sure._

'_Someone who looks almost exactly like you,' Rukia answered as she slid into the back seats of the oddly designed car._

'_I wonder how he'd react if he met you,' Ukitake hummed as he started the ignition, 'I think it would be most interesting,'_

'_Er, okay,' as he sat down, Ichigo couldn't help but think this was the start of something that would affect him very deeply in the coming years._

* * *

><p>'Are you alright?' the words sounded like echoes and they were all distorted. Rukia wondered what was going on, until she realised that she was back in the present, and that Ichigo was talking to her in a concerned way. She briefly thought that she wanted to know how long she'd been in her memories for, but a more important question took over.<p>

'How old was I when I met you?' she still didn't want to accept that they'd become friends, but the evidence was right there, in her head, 'Kurosaki?' since her vision was slightly out of focus, all she could see was a blur.

'You were fifteen and a half, or something like that,' Ichigo watched as she blinked, bringing more and more of herself back into consciousness, 'Why do you ask?'

'And those paintings,' ignoring him, the petite teenager continued, standing with a little unsteadiness before turning and moving towards the stairs, intent on getting to Ukitake's study, 'I really painted them?'

Ichigo stood too and wandered over to stand beside her, 'Yeah, you were a really good artist,' he paused before continuing, 'You've seen the paintings, they're so realistic, kind of like photos, but with something fantasy about them, that tells people that they're not photos, and that someone really did have the skill to paint so well,'

Rukia listened as she walked towards the half open door of the study, 'I can't imagine myself as an artist,' she entered the room, hearing Kurosaki follow quietly.

Once again, the artwork on the walls made her head spin slightly, but this time she focused on only one out of all the frames that covered the walls. It was a portrait of Kaien, and he was smiling as he looked up from reading some thick study textbook. The realistic quality was only broken by the fact that, in the background, there was a pattern in black spread out across the wall. It was swirling and distinctive, but she couldn't guess why she would've added such a thing.

'Can you remember painting any of these?' Ichigo's voice broke the quiet, and she heard him move to lean against Ukitake's desk, 'You used to say they all had stories behind them, but that you'd only see those tales if you looked hard enough and in the right way,' he laughed lightly, 'But I don't think I ever really believed you,'

Rukia moved back to let her eyes pass over every single one, and she thought she could almost hear herself saying something, but the words were too faint to distinguish. As her gaze flowed over each carefully painted face, she realised something, coming to a stop on one of Kurosaki, _To have done this, when it was obvious there was so much effort involved . . . _the fist she didn't realise she'd clenched relaxed suddenly, _I really must've liked him, and known him well. Because to paint a friend . . . you have to know them so closely that you can almost see their soul._

The last thought surprised her, and it seemed both exaggeratedly poetic and almost untrue. She'd heard of famous artists who could paint almost anyone they'd met really well, so what was that little phrase trying to say. That the works of those people weren't _good_, or something? It didn't make sense and that was annoying.

'Rukia-,' Ichigo wondered why she was just standing there with such a complex expression showing clearly on her face, 'Do you want to leave this room?'

'No,' her tone was completely calm and even, and then she blinked and seem to return to her normal self, 'Hey you,' the question had popped up in her head so suddenly that she just had to ask it, 'You seem to know a lot about both me, and Kaien too. Did you ever meet him?'

'I never met him,' there was a pause, 'But you told me a lot about the things you two used to do, so it's almost like I know him, in a way,'

'Oh, I see,' turning to the door, she wandered out, 'Come again tomorrow, if you're going to skip school, I still have questions,'

Ichigo hid his amused grin, 'Alright, see you then,'

'Whatever,' not bothering to see the other teenager to the door, Rukia disappeared in the direction of her bedroom, 'Later, Kurosaki,'

As she said his name, she wondered if, in that time she couldn't recall, they'd become good enough friends that she'd called him 'Ichigo', just like she referred to Kaien. It was an almost frightening thought.

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<p>

Firstly I'll apologise for not getting around to putting this chapter up sooner, I'm really very sorry.

And secondly . . . Ichigo and Rukia's first steps on the path to becoming friends have apparently been taken, although that was just a memory, so technically it already happened . . . anyway, more interactions in the present, next chapter.


	12. Chapter 11: Heart

_Chapter 11: Heart_

'So you aren't going to try and paint again? Why _NOT_?' Ichigo was rather worked up, and he sounded a little like a spoilt child who'd just been denied something he wanted, 'That's immature and ridiculous! I mean, you were quite talented!' he glared and stomped around.

'I'll tell you what's immature . . . and that's YOU!' Rukia stood at the top of the stairs yelling down at the orange haired teenager as he shouted up from the bottom, 'And ridiculous?' she looked scarier than any of the horror manga she read, 'That's your FACE!' she cackled at him.

'Hey!' marching up the stairs, Ichigo glared down at her, having reached a step that allowed him to utilise his superior height, 'Don't shout at people as soon as they walk in the door!'

'Don't shout at the person who invited you!' she screamed back, not at all concerned by the fact that she was quite a bit shorter than he was, 'I'll kick you out! Right now, and then-,'

'Just try it! I dare you to!' hoping that Ukitake wasn't around listening, Ichigo shouted back, effectively cutting her off, and ignoring the close proximity of the petite teenager to himself.

'Fine!' shrieking like some otherworldly beast of the manic and dangerous kind, Rukia kicked the orange haired teenager hard, sending him crashing down the stairs, a look of mild surprise replacing his usual scowl, 'Just you wait, you jerk! I'll teach you some manners! You watch,'

'Ack! Urgh! Bleh! Murgh! Gurmfi!' Ichigo attempted to reply but his each and every word was cut off with either a punch or a kick. He suddenly found himself being tossed out the door, and he was very glad that years of 'training' with his dad had made him relatively impervious to most physical battering. Even falling down those stairs had only lightly bruised him. Which was good, because he needed his fully functioning body to calm Rukia who looked like a demon right about now . . .

'Get lost! I can't stand the bloody sight of you!' the thought that Ukitake, or even her brother, might be listening didn't even cross Rukia's mind as she screeched at the orange haired teenager, 'I can't believe you come over, insult me, try to get me to do something I _won__'__t_, and then you shout at me! If you've broken your stupid arm I wouldn't care! Don't send me the hospital bill either! Because I ain't going to pay for something you brought on yourself!'

As it looked like she was gearing up for another barrage of insults and other such things that resembled insults, Ichigo leapt up and began to run away. Not down the driveway, but further into the Kuchiki Estate. He'd been there before and it shouldn't have changed too much . . .

'Hey!' wondering where exactly he thought he was getting away to, Rukia took off in pursuit, 'Get back here! You're going in the wrong direction, you moron! Don't run that way!'

'I bet ya can't catch me!' the orange haired teenager laughed mockingly as he disappeared into the nearest line of trees, 'Have fun, Rukia. See you when you give up in a minute or two,'

'Why you-,' deciding to stop talking in order to preserve her strength, Rukia fell silent and continued on chasing. She'd catch up, not matter what, and then she'd discipline such an unruly person. Actually, apart from the run, she was rather looking forward to beating him.

* * *

><p>'Boo!'<p>

Rukia turned and hit Kurosaki none too gently, 'That's not scary! Just-,' she was cut off suddenly when he shoved her and she went tumbling down the gentle green hill they'd been standing at the top of, 'You! I'm coming right back up to beat you to a pulp, you hear me?'

Not wasting any time, Ichigo laughed before practically throwing himself down too. He'd get grass stains on his clothes and possibly a few bruises, but who didn't enjoy sliding down such inviting looking hills? They'd done it before, back in the days before everything had changed, and they'd even held races to see who could reach the bottom first. If he could remember correctly, they'd been tying the scores, but still, it had really been up to luck, he thought.

'I guess you're not so jerk-ish after all,' having been oddly calmed by her fall, Rukia lay on the grass in a very relaxed and composed manner, 'I still have my doubts though, often,'

'Gee thanks,' mildly insulted, but mostly amused, Ichigo stared up at the happy looking clouds and he wished they could be happy and light like that too, 'You sure know how to compliment people. Saying I'm not that jerk-ish isn't what most people would consider a-,'

'Just shut up, don't ruin my barely good mood,' speaking lazily, because that's how one often feels when lying on comfortable grass after being unexpectedly pushed down a slope, Rukia also turned her gaze to the sky, 'You shouldn't constantly try to provoke me, it's mean,' she trailed off, lost in thought for a moment, before saying, 'And, as I was just thinking, you really do look like Kaien. I can understand why Ukitake was so surprised the first time he saw you. I mean . . . apart from you hair and eyes, and maybe your build slightly . . . you two are like twins,' she chuckled suddenly, 'But please don't let that be the case, I wouldn't cope,'

'Er, I don't have a twin,' Ichigo managed to stutter the words, knowing that he sounded like a complete fool, 'So you don't need to worry about that,' he fell silent all of a sudden.

Rukia sat up a bit straighter, leaning on her arms, 'What . . . are you jealous or something? I wonder why that would be? Hmm . . . maybe you just can't stand being similar to anyone. Is that the reason you dye your hair that unsightly shade of orange?' she actually didn't mind the colour, and she somehow knew it wasn't dye, but still, it was a good way to tease him.

'I'm not jealous,' rising so that he was sitting properly, Ichigo glanced at her, 'And I don't dye my hair,' he noted the wicked gleam in her indigo eyes, 'Wait . . . you were joking?'

Seeing how indignant he was, Rukia almost smirked, 'Well, maybe some parts I was just trying to annoy you with,' she pretended to be in deep thought, 'But not all of it, oh no,'

'What? What?' jumping up, Ichigo glared at her in annoyance, 'You're tricking me again! Ack!' not bothering to wonder why he should be coughing, the teenager fell over randomly.

'You're sure are a strange one,' rising while he kept coughing in a way which implied he was choking on laughter, Rukia did smirk, and she moved away, 'I bet you can't catch _me_,'

And without any sort of hesitation, she bolted back towards the second house, hearing Ichigo leapt up in pursuit, _It__'__s __not __so __bad, __just __like __last __time, __I __guess __I__'__ll __learn __to __get __used __to __him_.

* * *

><p>As she crept through the mansion, hoping to stress Kurosaki out through her absence, Rukia suddenly heard him banging around in one of the rooms below. Chuckling soundlessly, she opened the nearest door and slid inside, shutting it quietly behind her. Turning, she realised she was in a studio, presumably an art studio. Actually . . . presumably <em>her<em> art studio.

Looking around, she was surprised at how preserved the whole setting looked, and she wondered if it had changed since she lost her memory. Ukitake had probably kept this room locked up until she'd entered his private study. It could've caused some questions to arise which he wouldn't have been too happy answering, she could imagine.

Wondering how many studios might be hidden around the huge mansion, Rukia moved forwards, one pale hand reaching out to pick up one of the brushes. She was about to move and remove the top of one of the paint tubes, but then there was a massive thud sound outside the door. Seconds later, Ichigo burst in, looking like he'd just tripped over, and he stared in surprise.

Rukia barely refrained from flushing in embarrassment, and then she hurled the brush at him, sighing in satisfaction as it hit his forehead squarely. Then, without a moment's hesitation, she rushed over to the window, slid it open, and jumped out, thankful that the drop wasn't that great.

'Wait!' Ichigo cursed as he realised there was no way he'd get out of that window without having to dive, which would most probably end up with him and two broken arms lying on the ground below, 'Where's the nearest door? Oh shit, why does she always have to run?'

Rushing from the room, he raced along until he found a way out. Looking around, and wondering which of the many possible directions she'd run off in, he recalled her liking to watch Byakuya's koi in the closest of the lakes. Grinning now, he began to hurry off that way, hoping with all his might that he was correct in his guess . . .

'Rukia!' the shout was horribly loud in the serene quiet, but the orange haired teenager didn't seem to care much, 'Don't you dare do that again! Just because you can't remember me, doesn't mean I can't remember you, and I'm sorry to say this, but worrying over your whereabouts has become programmed into my brain . . . or something like that,'

'Shut up, Ichigo-_chan_,' smirking as she sat on the pier, Rukia didn't glance up from watching the water. It seemed to her like there was no longer any fish in this lake, that or she'd got it wrong and this was one of the uninhabited bodies of water. Uninhabited by koi, at least.

'Are you alright?' sitting down too, Ichigo glanced sideways at her, not sure what to say.

'Fine, Ichigo-chan,' she seemed to have recalled teasing him with that, and it was amusing, to him if to no one else, 'Just fine. But I'm thinking Nii-sama hasn't put koi in this lake,'

'He never did, no,' shaking his head, the orange haired teenager suppressed a grin, 'Is that all you're going to say, Kuchiki-sama? Is your pride preventing you from doing a charitable something? Are you going to use your manners or not? Hmm?'

Tensing slightly, Rukia scowled, 'I'm not apologising, if that's what you're on about,'

'Oh, not at all,' laughing under his breath, Kurosaki continued to not look at her, and she once again directed her attention at the lake.

It was strange though, that while her days were lighter and far more interesting than usual, her nights were still dark and the nightmare still occasionally appeared in her unconscious mind. It almost seemed like something that would never, ever go away, and instead continue to haunt her forever.

* * *

><p>'And you forgot to mention that part?' Rukia kept her cool with surprising ease, bathed in the pale glow of the morning light, 'Even yesterday, you failed to recall that little detail? You could've at least said something while we were by the lake,' cold calm and perfect composure.<p>

Ichigo, sitting opposite her, fidgeted uncomfortably, 'Well . . . er, that is to say, I mean . . . ah, you know . . . I wasn't sure, uhm, well, what I mean is . . . I didn't think,'

'No, you certainly didn't,' icily cold while everything else was pleasantly warm, the indigo eyed teenager leant forwards in her chair slightly, 'And, since you're having trouble answering me, I'll repeat the question,' closing her eyes serenely, she continued, 'How come you failed to mention that we were . . . an _item_?' it was the best way she could ask without feeling embarrassed herself. Use careful language, stay distant from the situation . . . it was a plan, and she was going to stick to it.

Because earlier that morning, Rukia had suddenly recalled a little something that had made her want to vomit or hit her head repeatedly against a wall. Something that the orange haired fool before her had seemingly forgotten, even though he certainly did not have amnesia.

'I . . . I, er,' Ichigo still seemed to be having trouble speaking, and she wondered if he'd suffered some kind of brain damage, 'I . . . you see, ah, that is . . . well-,'

Rukia cut him off in annoyance, 'If you don't spit it out in one second, then you will suffer,'

Brown eyes showing just a slight amount of fear amongst all of the mortified embarrassment, Ichigo took a deep breath and said everything in a rush, 'Well I didn't want to take advantage of you seeing as you couldn't remember crackers about me, and so I thought it would be better not to say anything just in case you thought I was a pervert, because I'm not which is why I didn't want to say that just in case you . . .' apparently he only just realised how jumbled and repeated everything he was saying was, 'Oh, sorry, it's just that-,'

'I got it the first time!' shouting so he'd shut up, Rukia slammed a hand down on the table between them, 'And anyway,' she sighed a sigh of long suffering, 'I remember everything now about _you_, I think . . . even your birthday,'

Ichigo twitched, annoyance breaking through his discomfort, 'My birthday isn't that hard to remember, thank you very much! It's a day after yours . . . but in July,' he sounded defeated.

'Exactly,' not sure how that proved her point but saying it anyway, Rukia suddenly noticed something, and she leaned across the table, reaching out to yank at his hair.

'Ow!' Ichigo protested loudly, trying to pull away but finding that only made it worse, 'I think you were better when you were just glaring! At least then you didn't physically beat me up! I mean really . . . after all this time, you've hit and kicked and thrown me about more than when I knew you before,' pausing, he amended the statement, 'No, it's about the same really,'

Rukia glared, not caring that was doing as he suggested, and then she snapped, 'Well I almost think it was better that way too, except for the remembering part,'

'Yeah, well if your memory wasn't so crappy-,' Ichigo cut himself off suddenly, realising in a flash just how much he shouldn't have said that.

Before he could apologise though, Rukia had sent the table flying across the room, and she stood before him, glowering and looking really scary, 'It's clinical amnesia, you bastard!' she screamed at him as the extra sound of her punch, a powerful one which met his jaw, sounded as well. His comment hurt her, although she'd never admit it, and she didn't like being hurt.

Ichigo, although he was guilty, lost his self-control to his anger, and he shouted back, 'Well then why do you have amnesia? Huh? Why this medical condition, Kuchiki?' the scorn was practically dripping from his every word, and his expression didn't lighten the blows.

'Like I know!' screaming once more, Rukia gasped aloud when a sharp pain shot through her head, 'Argh!' doubling over, she cradled her aching skull carefully.

'Are . . . are you okay?' hating himself for what he'd said and done, Ichigo moved forwards in his armchair, peering at her carefully, 'Rukia? Say something! Are you alright? Come on!'

Rukia just shook her head, a very tiny movement because anything made her head hurt more, even the simple action of breathing. Her vision was going black every now and then too . . .

'I'll get Ukitake,' Ichigo moved to rise, already searching his head for anything that would tell him where to find the white haired man, 'Just wait here a moment, I'll be back,'

As he stood, he felt something pulling at the leg of his jeans.

Rukia.

Looking so small and fragile, she tugged again, clearly indicating that she didn't want him to go, no matter what. Torn with indecision, Ichigo eventually moved to sit back down, wondering how he was supposed to help her at all and feeling oh so useless.

Rukia tensed all of a sudden, and then she relaxed, dropping her hands. Her shoulders were shaking too, and it was only a moment later that Ichigo realised she was laughing, although why, he couldn't imagine, considering what had just happened to her.

'Rukia?' it was a tentative question, because he was now doubting her sanity, 'Rukia?'

Looking up, the raven haired teenager blinked through her watering eyes, still laughing silently like some kind of amused ghost, and hard enough to cause the crying. As she continued shaking with her chuckles, she wiped her eyes and stood up from where she'd knelt before. Ichigo was in the process of wondering what exactly she was doing, when she very abruptly leant forwards and kissed him.

In his shock, the orange haired teenager jerked into his chair, hitting his head hard on the back of the plush armchair. He wanted to say something, but considering the circumstances, it probably wasn't the smartest idea. Then a couple more lagging 'things' hit him and he registered just what was happening.

So why exactly was Kuchiki Rukia kissing him?

'Don't get me wrong here,' darting away to the door, the violet eyed teenager smirked at his astonished expression, 'I just want to remember _everything_. And if that's what I've got to do in order to achieve that goal, then I'll do it. So Ichigo,' she didn't even realise how she referred to him in such an easy and casual manner, 'It's not like I still like you, like that, or anything,' or that she wasn't speaking in entirely understandable sentences.

Having gotten over the initial shock, and then the added shock of her using his given name again, without a mocking 'chan' stuck onto the end, Ichigo leapt up, smirking too, 'Oh really, and why should I believe that? Based on what you just did . . . the truth of your words is doubtable,' he shoved his hands into his pockets, 'Wouldn't you agree, Kuchiki Rukia?'

Rukia just laughed, a light, honest sound that hadn't passed from her lips in a long time. Then, without another word, she slid out the partly open doors and ran off into the grounds of the Estate, the noise of her chuckling still lingering in the air.

Ichigo smiled properly, something he rarely did, and then he shot out after her, calling her name.

* * *

><p>As she weaved through the trunk of sakura trees, noting that the blossoms were really blooming now, Rukia smiled to herself. Memories of another spring, one from the past, flashed through her mind and she could almost see Kaien running just a few metres to her left, a big grin on his face and a few fallen petals in his black hair . . .<p>

* * *

><p><em>Sitting beneath the sakura trees, watching the pink petals falling softly around them, Rukia couldn't help but feel doubt in her mind. Turning to Kaien, leaning against a tree nearby, she voiced her uncertainty aloud, 'Why am I here? Why am I even here?' <em>

_It didn't make sense to her, how someone as well-known and respected as Kuchiki Byakuya had adopted her and now she was living on his Estate. All of the lavish rooms in the mansions, the beautifully landscaped gardens, the lakes, the sakura trees . . . why was she even there? She didn't deserve any of it, even if her sister had been her Nii-sama's wife._

'_Isn't it obvious?' he spoke through his mouthful of onigiri, spitting rice everywhere without any sort of care, and peering at her in a mixture of annoyance and exasperation, 'It's so you can fight to protect!'_

_Rukia almost twitched in annoyance, and she was about to say they weren't playing 'shinigami' at the moment and she'd actually been serious in asking. But somehow, like he often did, Kaien pulled her from reality into their game, and so she played along like she always did, 'To protect? Protect what?'_

'_What? Uh . . . well, a bunch of things,' he didn't look like he'd thought this one through before replying. Maybe he'd forgotten that she always asked questions when something was confusing her. _

_As he stuffed the rest of his onigiri into his mouth, Rukia sighed in exasperation, 'That answer is too vague! Couldn't you give me a clearer explanation?'_

'_A clear answer, huh?' licking stray grains of rice from his fingers, Kaien averted his gaze, as if he was actually considering, 'Kuchiki, have you ever heard our Captain's view on life?' he rose slowly as he spoke._

_Rukia, wondering if he was seriously still remaining in character from the game, enough to refer to his guardian as 'captain', blinked, 'No . . .'_

_Standing with his back to her now, Kaien kept talking, 'There are two types of battles,' it seemed like he really was staying a 'shinigami', 'Battles to protect your life, and battles to protect your pride. That's Captain Ukitake's opinion,' he turned slightly, 'But personally, Kuchiki, I think that in the end, you're protecting the exact same thing,'_

_Even if he was still playing the game, Rukia found she was slightly confused, 'The same thing . . . what is it?'_

_Turning even further, a slight smile touched his lips, 'Your heart,'_

_Rukia was frozen with astonishment for a moment, before she slumped slightly, 'That's so lame,'_

_Kaien immediately flew into an irritated rage, 'Come on! I'm being serious here!'_

_She just kept giving him a strange look, wondering all the while how he could be serious while pretending to be a 'shinigami' of all things._

'_Okay, Kuchiki, let me ask you,' he sounded more serious now, 'Where do you think your heart is?'_

_Rukia found she was caught completely by surprise, 'I-it's . . . um . . . around here, right?' she placed a hand on her chest, questioning._

_Kaien made a sound akin to a short laugh, before walking back over, 'Maybe,' he touched a hand to his own chest, before holding it before her face, then he made a fist between both of them, 'I say the heart can be found right here,'_

_As Rukia stared, he continued, 'When we meet, a bond is between us is born for the first time. Our hearts aren't inside our bodies,' he didn't lower his hand, but he raised his gaze, 'When we think of something, or care about someone, that is where our hearts are born,'_

_Although her eyes widened, Rukia didn't say a word, and she simply listened as her friend and sometimes role-model kept talking, lowering his arm._

'_If you were the only person in the entire world, then your heart wouldn't be anywhere. There's nothing to worry about. If you wish with all your heart to stay here, then your heart will remain here,'_

She could recall it perfectly, and he'd said 'if your heart is here, then that's why you should be here', and then he'd gone on to say . . .

'_Listen Kuchiki, in the fights to come, there's one thing you must never, ever do,' his expression was simple, but infinitely complicated, 'Don't die alone. Our bodies are our souls themselves,' he stood up again, 'When we die, our bodies will turn to dust and become the reishii that form Soul Society. Where will our hearts go then?' he smiled, 'We entrust our hearts to our friends,'_

'_Entrust them to our friends?' her voice sounded funny._

'_If you entrust it to your friends, it will continue to live on inside of them. So Kuchiki,' his tone was completely serious, 'Don't you dare die alone. Got it, Kuchiki?'_

_And, despite the fact that he was pretending to be something he wasn't, just like her, at that very moment, being under the guise of a 'shinigami' made his words all the more important to her._

'_You know, we went off topic,' she mumbled the words, still caught up in the awe of what he'd said, 'How did we get onto talking about hearts again?'_

'_I honestly can't remember,' when seconds before he'd seemed as wise as wisdom itself, Kaien now looked like your average teenager, chewing into another onigiri, 'But don't forget it, Kuchiki,'_

'_Of course not, sir,' smiling, Rukia continued to nibble at her own rice cake, 'I'll remember for as long as I live,'_

'_That's very dramatic,' he blinked at her in amusement, face covered in rice crumbs._

_She smirked, recalling everything he'd just said, 'Like you're one to talk,'_

'_Huh?'_

* * *

><p>Opening her eyes, Rukia realised she must've fallen when she was suddenly enveloped in that fond recollection, and she winced slightly when she rose. Kaien's words were still imprinted in her mind, and they were still so poignant.<p>

'I think,' as she began to wander back towards the house, hearing Ichigo's loud shouts in the distance, Rukia smiled softly, 'I think my heart is safe with everyone. With Nii-sama, Ukitake . . . Kaien and even . . . Ichigo,' she twitched, 'Not sure about Renji though . . .'

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<p>

A long chapter spanning two days . . . hmm, lot's of things to write so it makes sense, I think. Anyhow, I hope this chapter was enjoyable!

Kaien's speech on the heart was also included,but, well, for this story, they were just acting as shinigami. Still . . . I think it didn't change the meaning much . . . for Rukia, anyway.


	13. Chapter 12: Of Paint, Water and Cold

_Chapter 12: Of Paint, Water and Cold_

Sitting on a stool before the medium sized canvas, Rukia scowled darkly. It was a Friday now, and she wasn't looking forward to the weekend, let alone the rest of the day. Why? She wasn't certain, but it might've been due to the nightmare she'd had the night before.

Staring at the picture slowly taking shape before her, under the direct strokes of her brush, Rukia sighed harshly and then she glanced up at Ichigo, who was sitting as still as possible where he'd been ordered to. She didn't know if it was okay for him to miss a whole week of school bar the single day in which he hadn't come over to the Estate, but she didn't complain.

'It's no good,' she snapped finally, not sure who she was more annoyed at, him, for doing nothing, not that he was supposed to, or at herself for being unable to instantly slide back into her old supposedly artistic ways, 'Let's stop for the day, alright? I'm so tired of this right now,' putting down her brush, she glared hard at the palette splashed with various colours.

'Can I see it?' not sure what exactly was bothering her, Ichigo stood up slowly and stretched, wandering over hesitantly, 'Rukia?'

'No!' pulling a sheet out of nowhere, she easily sent it cascading over the easel, hiding the canvas but not touching the still damp paint, 'Just . . . let's just go. For a walk or something,'

_There__'__s __something __really __wrong __with __it_, as they left the room, she couldn't help the dark thought from drifting through her mind, _I__'__m __not __happy __at __all. __It __doesn__'__t __feel __right._

'Let's go down to the lake again,' Ichigo made the suggestion as they exited the house, 'It's peaceful there, and I think it's a great place to calm down and relax,'

Not waiting for her answer, he set off purposefully, hoping that she'd follow because he'd look a fool if she didn't.

* * *

><p>As she swung her legs over the edge of the pier, Rukia sighed, peering into the water and watching the slow, lazy ripples distort her reflection, 'I was just thinking-,'<p>

'Well, whatever you were thinking,' Ichigo cut her off without a care in the world, 'I think it's funny that you actually want to talk to me at all now. I mean, you never did before,'

'Well, like I thought we'd already established, you weren't very nice to me,' she replied without much venom, but still a slim amount of irritation, 'Practically everything you said was mean or just baiting,'

'Yeah, I know,' he sighed deeply, shoulders sagging as he also leaned forwards to look into the lake, not that surprised to find it much lighter in colour than one might expect for such a large body of water, 'But I couldn't help it. I was told to stay away from you, so I had to make sure we wouldn't get into any open conversations or anything like that,'

'Who told you to keep away?' Rukia suspected it was Byakuya, because the only other person was Ukitake, and he wasn't like that at all, 'Ichigo?'

The orange haired teenager was silent for a while, before straightening and saying, 'Did you know, Karin and Yuzu, well, Yuzu especially . . . anyway, they want to go on a holiday soon,'

'Maybe you should go this weekend,' Rukia considered the proposition and nodded.

'Sounds like a good idea,' he smirked, 'Are you going to miss me?'

Rukia hit him lightly, 'Hey! It's not like I'm just going to immediately go back to being your girlfriend after completely forgetting about you! Or at all, for that matter!'

'I'm hurt,' surprised that she'd been so easily distracted from the original topic, because usually it was relatively impossible to change the subject so obviously with Rukia, 'You're a cruel girl, Rukia, real mean,'

She glared, indigo eyes flashing, and then she hit him again, 'You know what? You're being irrational! You should want to spend more time with your family! You should treasure the times you have with them all, even you're crazy dad!' she didn't realise that she'd so casually mentioned his father, 'And me? I'm just someone who knows you! Don't put me before your family, even if you apparently think I'm still your girlfriend or something like that!'

Ichigo flinched, 'Well did _you_ spend lots of time with _your_ family?' he said 'family' as in Byakuya, Ukitake and Kaien, 'It seems to me like you spend a lot of time with _me_, so you can't talk about spending time with family!'

Not thinking, he shoved her away from where she sat beside him. There was a moment where time seemed to slow as Rukia lurched forwards, losing her balance and beginning to fall off the pier, towards the glittering water.

* * *

><p>As her body hit the icy cold liquid, Rukia's eyes closed for the briefest of moments, and then she was underwater, looking up through the shimmering layer and into the cloud filled sky. She wondered when the sunny weathered had turned so dark, and she thought that it might rain soon. Then her thoughts turned to what she'd said, and how Ichigo had replied.<p>

_Should I spend more time with Ukitake? And Nii-sama too? Am I a hypocrite for saying that Ichigo should treasure his family more? Is it really me at fault here? Because I'm the one who keeps inviting him away . . . from his family, from school, from his friends . . . ?_

As she sank deeper and deeper, the light slowly withdrawing from around her, Rukia felt a slight ache beginning in her chest.

_I should take time to talk to Nii-sama more, even if he's busy most of the hours of the day . . . I'm sure there'll be some sort of opportunity for us to spend time together. And Ukitake . . . I live in the same house as him, so it shouldn't be too much to ask just to engage in some conversations that aren't absolutely necessary. I know I don't usually like idle chit-chat, but still . . ._

The ache intensified and bubbles slid from her lips, disappearing up, up, up.

_And I should try harder to get in contact with Kaien. Renji too. Maybe I really should plan a trip to Tokyo, so I can see them both . . . _

* * *

><p>Peering into the water, Ichigo searched for Rukia's form, beginning to get worried, and hoping she wasn't just tricking him. He knew she was a capable swimmer, despite her small size, and that she should've come up by now. It had already been a lot longer than he'd expected.<p>

The terrible thought that she might have blacked out crossed his mind, before he violently pushed it away. There was no way something like that could happen, this wasn't a real life horror movie!

'I should go in and try to find her,' not realising he was speaking aloud, Ichigo prepared himself for the shock of the cold water.

* * *

><p>Beneath the surface of the lake, Rukia could see the sky and the light, and she began to move upwards. The lake was very deep, exactly how deep though, she didn't know, but it would be easy to drown if you weren't careful.<p>

Looking again at the clouds up above, she pondered Ichigo, knowing in a flash that he really hated the rain. There were memories pressing at her mind, ones showing herself calming him as storms raged in the sky, and vicious droplets pounded into the ground below. It was an odd thought, that he should be so vulnerable whenever the clouds opened and released their heavy loads. The reason for that hatred was unclear to her, however, as he'd never told her.

'_You say you hate the rain . . . but I love walking in the rain . . . because then no one knows I'm crying,'_

As the thought flowed through her head, she realised it wasn't one from the present, but instead . . . a phrase from the past. The realisation was strangely nostalgic and suddenly she felt tears slipping from her eyes, also disappearing upwards, and she realised she was crying, even though the water was caressing her form, holding her tightly.

There was a sudden splash and she watched as Ichigo appeared in the water. He must've jumped in too, which meant he was worried. Pushing upwards, she realised just how pained her lungs had become, and that her head felt faint from lack of oxygen.

The natural will to survive sparked fear in her mind, the instinctive terror of drowning taking control and forcing her to rise up through the water, back towards the light.

As she reached out, Rukia felt a strong hand grasp her own, and then, as her last reserves of strength finally gave out, she was pulled up by someone else, head breaking through the water as she gasped for air. A few moments later, she was hauled onto the pier, and then they both lay there, panting and drenched to the skin.

An icy wind whipped across the water and they both shivered involuntarily, still breathless.

'Why didn't you come up?' Ichigo was slightly worried she'd resigned herself to dying, perhaps even wished for the end, although why, he didn't want to imagine, 'I'm cold,' the second part was just a random and obvious observation that had popped into his head.

Rukia was silent for quite some time, her chest rising and falling raggedly, and then she spoke, her voice barely a whisper, 'I think I can finally understand why you hate the rain,'

Ichigo's brown eyes widened in shock, and he was unable to reply for a moment, 'Really? I never told you . . . how could you know?'

'I'm not sure,' she exhaled slowly, 'But it's because your mother died on a dark and rainy day, isn't it?'

Ichigo heard something in her tone that made him instantly wary, and he sat up, reaching out and grabbing her arm, the sudden contact bringing her back to reality. No matter what, he couldn't let her dwell on such depressing thoughts.

'She did,' his tone was sad, but he forced the majority of the pain away, just for her, 'I guess it wasn't so hard to work out, since you knew she wasn't alive, and you could see I hated the rain,' he ignored her as she tried to shake him off, pulling both of them to their feet, 'Rukia-,'

Before the raven haired teenager could say anything, she found herself being hugged tightly. The action surprised her so much, as she could tell, even after such a long period of not knowing him, that Kurosaki Ichigo wasn't a touchy-feely person. Still, she wasn't sure if the experience was pleasant or not, and soon her usual defence mechanisms kicked in.

Not literally, this time, but she _did_ punch him.

'You seriously always run!' as he began to chase her, both of them heading towards the house again, Ichigo couldn't help the wry grin that appeared on his usually scowling face.

Even when the clouds released the first shower of rain, and the cutting memory of his mother's death surfaced in his mind, Ichigo didn't stop smiling, because he knew that Kurosaki Masaki would have wanted him to smile. And to help in protecting the things he held closest to his heart.

* * *

><p>As she ran into her room, locked the door, and then changed out of her wet clothes, Rukia couldn't help but think about how she mightn't be making the most of the people she had around her, even when they were so kind or, in her Nii-sama's case, financially providing. She probably should do her best to spend more time with all of them, and she should let Ichigo spend days with his family too. That was a good thing to do, she thought, and so, opening her door again and leaving to find the orange haired teenager, she resolved to do her best. To try harder with everyone.<p>

* * *

><p>Rukia stared out her window, watching the light rays of the sun skimming along the sill, causing shadowy patterns to fall on her carpeted floor. She knew Ukitake was with his unfortunate bonsai, and that her Nii-sama was in one of his offices managing something that had come up the night before. For the first day of the weekend it was awfully not exciting.<p>

On impulse, she left her bedroom and wandered back to the studio she'd been in the day before with Ichigo, who she assumed was currently preparing for his holiday with his family. They were going to the beach the next day, and she knew his sisters were both terribly excited, although she had the odd suspicion that Karin would never admit to it.

It was strange how, after completely forgetting everything, she could make such assumptions, as if she was basing them off things she actually knew about these people she couldn't really recall anything about.

Picking up a palette, before replacing it just as fast, Rukia moved over to the blank canvases leaning against one of the walls. Without really thinking, she hauled the largest one, which was both taller than her, and wider than her entire arm span, over to the easel. Still acting before processing what she was doing, the teenager opened seemingly random tubes and tubs of paint, taking out what she needed before replacing the lids.

Taking a deep breath, and feeling her mood blackening, Rukia made the first line on the white, the paint a dark and gloomy shade of grey, a stark contrast. As her hands moved through the muscle memory that was never really forgotten, although in some cases it just became impossible to perform, she felt like she was fighting the brush, trying to direct it to her own will. As it was, the strong mental image searing through her mind was dominant, and she had no choice but to map out what only she could ever see.

Even hearing the noise of someone's approach didn't remove Rukia's attention from her work, and it wasn't until Ukitake spoke that she even registered his presence.

'What are you doing, Kuchiki?' from the doorway, the white haired man was unable to see what she was painting, but the stormy but strangely blank expression on her face gave him enough reason to suspect something wasn't entirely right, 'Is everything okay?'

'Go away,' her tone wasn't angry, instead, it was very level and expressionless. She seemed to almost be in a daze, and she didn't look that well at all.

'Alright then,' worrying over the petite girl, Jūshirō decided that it would be best to respect her wishes and leave. As he turned away, he hoped that the harsh white colour of her skin wasn't an indication that she was getting sick, because he stressed when she was ill.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, as she spun aimlessly around on her chair, Rukia pondered the painting she'd been able to complete in just that short amount of time. It had been like she was possessed, or something, although she knew it had been her and her alone creating that image. Deciding that she wanted to talk to someone, she picked up her phone, and dialled Renji's number without so much as a second thought.<p>

When he didn't pick up, she ignored the message bank, and hung up, rather annoyed with her old friend. It was unusual, to say the least, because he usually had his phone turned on, and somewhere close by to his person.

So, consequently, the next person she tried was Ichigo, and Kaien was next if the orange haired teenager didn't pick up. Still, since the number she had for Kaien was old, she didn't even know if it would work at all.

'Hello?'

The voice was slightly familiar, as if she'd heard it recently, but it definitely wasn't Ichigo's because, apart from the fact that it was female, the speaker sounded younger and more . . . cynical. Which meant only one thing . . . Karin. It made sense that it would be a voice she recognised, because she'd recently relived the memory of meeting Ichigo for the first time, and Karin had spoken in that recollection.

'Hello,' she made herself sound very stoic and neutral, although she _was_ wondering why Ichigo's younger sister had his phone.

'Who is this?' Karin was questioning in her tone, but still very blunt.

'A trained assassin who wants to speak to the owner of this phone, whom I assume is Kurosaki Ichigo,' stifling a smirk and a chuckle, Rukia continued speaking very monotonously.

There was a pause, and then, 'You're weird. Ichi-nii's friends are weird. Are you his weird girlfriend?' the girl didn't seem to have any problem with calling someone she couldn't identify 'weird'.

Wondering if that last part was true or not, Rukia replied in a sweet tone this time, 'No, I'm his guardian angel,'

'Sounds like a girlfriend to me,' there as a sound as if someone was moving around, 'I'll just get him, wait a moment will you?'

About a minute later, Ichigo's voice sounded, 'Rukia? What did you say to Karin? Because she looked really _suspicious_,'

Rukia laughed innocently, 'I didn't say anything, you're just being paranoid. Anyway, I just called because I want someone to talk to. And before you ask, Ukitake and my Nii-sama are busy, and Renji isn't picking up his damn phone,' she paused, 'And why did Karin answer _your_ phone?'

'I don't know, honestly,' Ichigo sounded very sincere, 'And are you okay? You sound a little odd. Are you sick or something?'

Rukia suddenly realised that she _did_ have a tickling throat, and she coughed loudly in way of response, not at all faking, 'Oh, I didn't realise, but it seems I have a cold,' she sniffed.

'I'll come over, it sounds bad,' he certainly seemed worried, 'Is it because I pushed you into the lake yesterday? I'm sorry, Rukia,'

'Don't worry, I'm fine,' she sneezed, unintentionally contradicting herself, 'You shouldn't-,'

'I'm coming over anyway, we're nearly done here so it shouldn't matter,' he must've been moving around because there were odd sounds travelling through the phone, 'Just wait for me and rest,'

'No, really . . . your family-,' she tried again only to have the line go dead as he hung up, 'Why you-,'

Suddenly feeling very faint, not to mention angry, Rukia moved over to the door, barely making it two steps before sneezing. She couldn't work out why she'd seemed alright earlier in the day, because now she was certainly quite sick.

* * *

><p>'Ukitake,' she interrupted herself by coughing, 'I think I've got a cold,'<p>

Due to the fact that, yes, she _did_ have a cold, her words came out sounding more like, 'Ukidake, I tink I'b got a cowld,'

The white haired man blinked in surprise, 'Well I think you've got one too!' standing up in a hurry, he bustled her into a room that wasn't her own, and ordered her to get in bed, 'I'll go get some medicine! You rest here in bed,'

Since he sounded overly paranoid, and she viewed the medicine part as a bit of a threat, Rukia shook her head and tried to escape, 'No, I don't want to,'

'Kuchiki,' it looked like he was partly focusing on her, and partly trying to remember where in the huge house the nearest medical kit was. There were a lot, because Ukitake himself was often ill, and the larger ones resembled hospital storerooms, but still . . . when flustered, basic directional information can sometimes be lost.

'Yes?' she didn't think she was going to be able to escape this one, he looked too . . . _earnest_.

'Just stay there, I'll be back,' and with that, Jūshirō turned and hurried from the room.

Curse her fondness for the man, because Rukia decided she really couldn't do anything but stay and wait. The only really bad part of her predicament was the medicine, and the room she was in. The whitewashed walls and clean white bed linen reminded her rather uncomfortably of . . . a hospital.

'I hate being sick,'

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<p>

Poor Rukia, and not just because she's sick with the threat of medicine looming behind her . . .

About the walking in the rain phrase, I heard someone say it recently, and I thought it was appropriate for Kuchiki to think, or have thought at some point. Anyway, since I don't know who's responsible for its creation, I'm sorry for not acknowledging anything.

And, as usual, I hope you enjoyed!


	14. Chapter 13: Sickness and Sadness

_Chapter 13: Sickness and Sadness_

'Ah, Kurosaki!' as he hurried back towards Rukia's temporary bedroom, Ukitake noticed that the front doors were ajar and that a certain orange haired teenager was just about to close them, 'You're here! Well, could you take this medicine to Kuchiki? She's got a cold of some sort!' approaching Ichigo, he held out the medicine bottle.

'Alright, where is she? In her room?' the teenager looked up from reading the label.

'No, two doors down from mine,' Jūshirō smiled before rushing off again, in a hurry to get . . . only he knew where.

'Okay then,' blinking, Ichigo turned in the direction the man had just left in, 'Which was do you mean by down? I thought Rukia's room _was_ only a few doors away from yours,'

Unfortunately, since Ukitake had long since vanished into the distance, Kurosaki was forced to go to where he thought she might be. When he got there, it couldn't hurt just to open random doors . . . could it? Then again, maybe he should just listen for sneezing . . .

* * *

><p>'Achoo,' feeling absolutely dejected, Rukia slumped deeper into the pillows of the plush bed. It was larger than her own, so from where she was, right in the middle, it seemed like the bed took up the whole space inside the room. She wondered why she'd thought explicitly of a hospital before. She could've said a dentist, although she didn't think all of them were white walled, or maybe even a . . . a . . . hospital.<p>

Scowling when she realised what she'd thought, Rukia was so deep in her irritated musings that when the door opened she almost jumped, but refrained from doing so through the pure force of her pride.

'Ichigo,' she continued to be surprised when it certainly wasn't the white haired Ukitake who stepped into the room, especially as this person was carrying the medicine bottle, 'You are not-,'

'Not what? Just take the medicine, Rukia,' without so much as a hello, he began to study the label on the back of the bottle. Then, a few moments later, he unscrewed the lid and brandished a medicine spoon threateningly, 'Even though I know you hate this stuff . . . you have to have it!'

'I don't want to drink it!' Rukia snapped with as much force as she could muster, 'Last time someone who wasn't an adult gave me medicine, I was throwing up for a week!'

'Kaien?' Ichigo grinned suddenly, almost spilling the contents of the spoon, 'Are you sure he didn't do it on purpose?'

'Shut up,' glowering at him, something that didn't look as fierce as usual due to her rather sickly appearance, Rukia tried to move away from him.

Sliding shut the cover which was apparently going to stop the unnecessary spilling of medicine until he removed it, which was supposed to happen when it was in Rukia's mouth, Ichigo moved over to the side of the bed, reaching out with his weapon of mass destruction balancing in his fingers, 'Come on! Just be mature and drink it. I'm far less likely to overdose you and cause the side effects to happen. I mean, I work at my dad's health clinic,'

'I don't care,' scrambling away, Rukia almost decided to go bury herself under the covers. The only bad part of that plan was, because the bed cover was very puffy, and Ichigo was now kneeling on the edge of the bed itself, she'd run a high risk of being squished.

'You're being ridiculous,' the spoon cover turned out to be very useful as Ichigo lunged forwards, trying to stop her from jumping off the bed. His hand grasped her ankle the then she overbalanced and came crashing back down from her previous position of standing precariously on the edge of the mattress.

'Hey! Let go,' trying to escape the other way, Rukia attempted to push past Ichigo, only to find herself pinned to the bed seconds later by a hand on her wrist and knees digging into her shins, 'Ow,' her tone was deadpan.

'Just drink the damn medicine!' Ichigo wasn't up to wrestling today, he was tired enough from listening to his dad's 'battle plan' for their holiday, and hauling around everyone's baggage as they changed locations for the temporary storage far more than was necessary.

'Never!' Rukia, despite her uncomfortable position, was still more focused on the medicine spoon than how their current arrangement might look to other people . . . which was the same with Ichigo, who'd have been blushing if he'd realised.

* * *

><p>Jūshirō blinked in surprise when he heard a lot of noise coming in the direction of Rukia's 'room', and so he hurried in that direction, worried, but not sure what about. It was likely that Kurosaki had arrived there by now, so maybe they were fighting. He was concerned that might be the case, both because he knew how they'd once been together, and also because Rukia was currently sick.<p>

'Are you two alr-,' opening the door and stepping inside, Ukitake was momentarily silenced by the mixture of shock and surprise that dropped down onto his head, 'Oh,' he sounded apologetic, 'I'm sorry,' averting his gaze, he continued by talking to a wall, 'I'll be going now, then,' his tone was now very embarrassed.

Turning in order to leave, it was inevitable that the image of Kurosaki and Kuchiki in their rather compromising position flashed across his mind, 'Well . . . er, it's good to see you two back to the way you were before,' trying to find the door with his eyes closed, Ukitake almost fell over, but he managed to stabilise himself at the very last moment, 'Oops,'

In the end, he had to open his eyes, and this time he found himself staring at two confused faces. And then one of them seemed to work out what had happened . . .

'Argh!' elbowing Ichigo in the stomach, something which almost had him collapsing on top of her, Rukia rolled away, sitting up and swinging her legs over the side of the bed, 'It's seriously not what you think, Ukitake! He was just trying to-,'

Ichigo appeared sitting beside her, still waving the medicine spoon about, 'Yeah! I was just trying to give her the medicine, because she's being stupid and not taking it!'

'And what did you mean _back __to __the __way __we __were_?' Rukia sounded scandalised, and she'd paled quite noticeably, 'Don't you dare tell me that . . . that-,'

The orange haired teenager saved her from having to continue by sliding back the spoon cover and shoving the utensil down her throat. He found he was very satisfied that all of the liquid seemed to leave the spoon, and so he let go and allowed her to hurl the innocent item across the room.

As Rukia gagged, Ukitake finally realised that they were telling the truth and not trying to cover something up, 'No, I honestly mean it when I say that, for teenagers, you were remarkably-,' he realised that Kuchiki looked like she was about to scream, 'How about I go get a cloth?'

'Yes . . . GO!' Ichigo herded the white haired man out the door before he could say anything mortifyingly embarrassing, and then he sighed in relief, 'Phew,'

As he moved back over to slump down to the floor, leaning back on the bed, Rukia tugged his hair. Looking up turned out to be a mistake or some sort because then she kissed him. And, a few moments later, he realised exactly why.

'Urgh! Bleh! Eww!' jumping up and spluttering terribly, Ichigo tried to glare at her while still spitting sickly sweet medicine everywhere, 'You're dirty and underhanded, you know that?'

'Yep,' Rukia sounded incredibly smug, despite the taste still in her own mouth, 'I know I'm brilliant,'

'Well, although you seem alright now to do all of . . . that,' Ichigo stood up, reaching for the bottle again, 'You should still have your medicine properly,'

'I swallowed half when you shoved that spoon down my throat, isn't that enough?' she sounded exasperated, as if he was the one being unnecessarily difficult.

After losing a glaring competition, Ichigo put the bottle down, 'Fine,'

'How about we go before Ukitake comes back,' picking up the glass of water beside her, she took a few sips before handing it over, trying to wash away the taste.

'I agree,' trying not to blush, Ichigo led the way out of the room, 'Let's hurry, we don't want him catching up with any wet cloths,'

'I feel mean,' and although she disliked running from the white haired man, Rukia finally decided that enough was enough and her dignity would not survive intact if he began spurting 'knowledge' like a water fountain . . . or at least attempted to . . . _again_.

* * *

><p>Hiding behind a pot plant in the entrance hall, Rukia gave a muffled sneeze, followed by a dampened cough. Ichigo, having heard both, decided not to mention it, just in case she got mad and did something scary.<p>

Standing up suddenly, the black haired girl shot him an uncalled for glare, before marching over and dragging him from his hiding spot, 'Alright Ichigo, it's time for you to go home. You've got a holiday to plan for and you weren't even supposed to come over today,'

As he found himself being pushed out the door, Ichigo turned around to protest, only to receive a kick to the stomach, which sent him sprawling, 'Hey!'

Rukia didn't say anything more, she just stepped back inside and slammed the door. Seconds later the sounds of a lock clicking into place confirmed his suspicions. She really _was_ trying to get rid of him.

Getting up from the ground, Ichigo approached the door and knocked, 'Are you going to let me back in?' he pushed futilely at one of the wooden panels.

'Go home, Kurosaki,' it sounded like she had her back to him.

'Are you mad at me for some reason?' he was confused by her abrupt behaviour, 'Rukia?'

On the other side of the doors, the Kuchiki teenager closed her eyes calmly, hiding the violet pools which might someday reveal her emotions to someone against her wishes, and then she walked away, up the stairs and out of the hall.

_No, __I__'__m __not __angry, _the thoughts were level and unhurried, _I__'__m __very __thankful __for __everything __you__'__ve __done __for __me, __both __when __I __knew __who __you __were, __and __when __I __didn__'__t. __Now __as __well __. __. __. __but __I __shouldn__'t __keep __you __away __from __the __people __who __truly __love __you. __Just __like __I __told __you __yesterday __. __. __. __it__'__s __my __resolve __that __is __weaker. __I __should __more __forcefully __oppose __you __when, __in __situations __like __today, __rushing __over __here __is __all __you __seem __to __be __able __to __think __of._

_Listen, Kurosaki Ichigo . . . I can never be as important to you as your family, wouldn't you agree?_

* * *

><p>'<em>And the Sunday?' the soft voice of the lavender haired woman gently removed Rukia from her dark, silent musings, 'Did you do anything that next day?'<em>

'_No, I got sicker, and so I was in bed the whole day. Ichigo wasn't around, and I didn't want to call him, because he was on holidays, but the way I felt, I could've easily dialled that number. By the end of the day, I was in a horrible mood. Very . . . dark and depressed,' the teenager sighed deeply, as if quite unamused by what had transpired in her past._

'_But the next day . . . you weren't so unhappy?' her delicate fingers brushed back a few stray strands of Rukia's hair, and the woman tilted the girl's head so that she was forced to meet her gaze, 'Come on . . . don't give up yet. Be strong and let the memories return to you,'_

'_Alright, alright,' exhaling slowly before inhaling at the same pace, Rukia began speaking again, not breaking her companion's gaze, 'Monday, of course, and Ichigo was still skipping school,'_

* * *

><p>'I want to show you something,' a refreshed and completely healthy Rukia gave Ichigo a look which called for absolutely no argument. Despite her healthy looking appearance, the teenager had a very dark and stormy aura about her, something that even Kurosaki could pick up.<p>

As he followed her along the corridor, Ichigo contemplated asking what was wrong, but that might cause the end of his existence to come a lot faster than he'd hoped, so he remained silent. Because she wasn't talking, his thoughts wandered to school, and how privately annoyed Misato must be. He wondered if he should take a helmet of some sort whenever he returned to Karakura High School, just to save his head from being battered repeatedly with a book or two.

Or maybe-

'In here,' her sharp tone pulling him from his thoughts, Ichigo found himself standing inside one of the many studios located within the second mansion, 'Look at this. I finished it properly this morning,'

'Oh?' whatever he'd been expecting, this certainly wasn't it.

The whole painting, spread out over a surprisingly large canvas, was dark and foreboding, like looking down a hole into a pitch black cave, and being able to hear the trickle of water somewhere deep below. Rukia herself was in the image, a figure in the foreground, just her upper half, facing away from the viewer, garbed in a tattered white dress. And in the background was a pillar of yellow gold light, so faint it was almost unnoticeable amongst all of the dark and chilling blacks and murky greens, greys and maybe even a hint of blue.

Strangely, Ichigo thought he could see an almost non-existent shadow somewhere in that light, like she'd accidentally brushed some dark paint there before covering it up with the lighter amber. But he couldn't work out what it was supposed to be, because from his perspective, it might've been a book, a dog, a cucumber or even a marshmallow.

Voicing his thoughts as it looked like she expected some kind of response, Ichigo said, 'It's different from anything I've ever seen,'

'I think it's one of my nightmares,' she wasn't certain, because she had trouble remembering those kinds of things, 'And I just realised there's one thing I didn't put in,'

Before Ichigo could even blink, she'd moved seemingly in a blur, opening a paint tub and dropping a wet brush inside. Then, as he reached forwards in an attempt to stop her, just on instinct, she flicked the brush through the air in front of the canvas, sending out large droplets of paint.

The orange haired teenager stared at the now 'complete' work in a mixture of blank surprise and hesitant worry. Crimson was splattered in a narrow diagonal band across the whole canvas, artful in its own way . . . the trail of red marks like . . . like bloodstains.

'H-hey,' Ichigo turned and grasped Rukia's wrist, 'Let's go, alright? It's my turn to show you something now,' he desperately wanted to cheer her up, because she looked depressed.

'Really?' already looking brighter now that she was out of that room, Rukia's lips twitched, 'I can't believe there's so much in my own house that I didn't know about,'

'You did at one stage, because you were the one to choose where all of those studios were placed. Something about different views and lightings on different days,' he tugged harder, trying to make her run, just to take her mind of dark things, 'Let's hurry,'

'Why? Cause unless this thing is alive, it's not going anywhere!' biting back a chuckle, Rukia quickened her pace to a jog, 'You're a strange one, Kurosaki Ichigo,'

'You are seriously not the person to talk about strange people, Kuchiki Rukia,' he shook his head, 'You're more eccentric than a lot of people I know,'

'At least I don't like miso with my popcorn,' not sure where that came from, but having the odd suspicion she'd just referred to Inoue Orihime, Rukia blinked in surprise.

'Well, you're right about that,' skidding to a halt in front of the correct door, one right at the end of the corridor on one of the higher levels in the mansion, Ichigo took a sharp inward breath, 'Here we are. Now,' he turned around, 'Don't go destroying anything,'

'Why would I?' genuinely confused, Rukia didn't even protest when she was suddenly shoved in front of him and through the now open door.

'Do you see it?' Ichigo followed, surprised to see the whole room in darkness, and he moved over to open the heavy curtains, 'Maybe Ukitake didn't want it to fade. I can't think of any other reason to keep these closed,'

It was only after she didn't reply that he turned around, and then he could've laughed out loud at her expression.

It was utterly priceless.

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<p>

So, the first part was Rukia's battle against medicine . . . interesting, and the second was a brief look into one of her new paintings and then . . . something else which Ichigo wants to show her. Wonder what . . .

Thank you for reading, by the way


	15. Chapter 14: Love You?

_Chapter 14: Love You?_

There was a single painting on the wall of the art studio, and Rukia found she couldn't look away from it, 'What was this place?' her face must've looked hilarious but the thought didn't even cross her mind. After all, as soon as Ichigo had opened those curtains . . . wow.

'This . . . was a place where we used to, er, hang out. You used it as an art studio once,' despite everything that had happened up to this point, Ichigo strangely felt kind of awkward explaining this to her, especially the painting on the wall. He tried not to look at it, as recalling the emotions he'd felt when she'd first shown the complete work to him . . . things just weren't the same. Even now that she'd remembered almost everything about him, she still acted slightly different around him. And he hadn't even noticed until coming back to this room himself.

Rukia's indigo gaze was unwavering, and she took a few hesitant steps towards the wall where the rather impressively large painting hung. She raised a pale hand, as if to touch the canvas, but her fingers never made contact, as she let her arm drop.

Everything seemed to fade away except the image on that piece of artwork. The image of them . . . Ichigo and her. Just Ichigo's upper half, but almost all of Rukia.

The background wasn't clearly defined, although it seemed to be a staircase, possibly resembling one in the main house, all whites, greys, and other such almost colours. The real reason the painting caused such captivation, were the two figures in the foreground. There was a young man and woman, the former looking at the girl beside him, and the latter staring straight out of the paint world, and into the real one. The girl was wearing a flowing white dress which appeared to pass just above her knees at the front, then fell long at the back, and high white shoes. She was sitting on the bannister of the staircase, and was leaning against the boy, who had one arm wrapped around her waist protectively.

'Ichigo', or his likeness, was wearing a crumpled black suit with the jacket open, revealing his white dress shirt. As 'Rukia' was shorter, her head rested closely against 'Ichigo's' chest, while he gazed down at her. Her arm was extended, reaching out much like the real Rukia had moments before, and a blood red ribbon curled down from her delicate fingers, wrapping around the couple artfully, suspended in the air.

The whole picture, viewed as a whole, portrayed such secretive, protective intimacy, that any of the students in their class at school would probably have blushed upon seeing the work. Even the orange of Ichigo's hair didn't cause the piece to lose any of its mysterious and 'close' quality.

'Did . . . did I-,' Rukia sounded like she was speaking from another world. Her voice was crackly and distant, and she hadn't moved her gaze at all.

'You painted that,' Ichigo wasn't sure whether to be embarrassed, or just speak as if that painting held no meaning for him, and he was removed from it, 'If that's what you're asking,'

'HIYAH!'

For a second Ichigo thought she'd attacked the painting, then reality caught up with his troubled mind and he found himself sprawled on the ground, a manic looking Rukia standing above him with a foot on his chest, 'Eh? Rukia?'

He hoped she hadn't lost it.

'Wow! This is,' she burst into hysterical laughter, 'Amazing!' she seemed almost psychopathic, 'I want to replicate that! Now!' her laughter turned evil and she was shouting.

'Replicate it?' Ichigo wasn't sure of anything right at that moment, 'What do you mean?'

He was seriously thinking that it would've been better not to show her this, because now that he thought about it, her latest wish could technically come true.

'Yeah!' she shot a fist into the air, eyes flashing and an uncharacteristic grin breaking out across her face, 'I have the strange suspicion that there's something that goes with that piece of artwork! I really was a genius, just look at that,' and then she pointed, laughing so hard that tears were streaming from her eyes.

'I'm not doing anything until you pull yourself together,' standing up, Ichigo shook her gently, 'Rukia, you're not insane, so stop acting like you are,'

'Sorry,' instantly, the usual Kuchiki appeared once more like nothing had ever happened.

'Well . . . that was pointless,' blinking in confusion, the orange haired teenager once again grasped Rukia's arm and then he pulled her away again, back into the house.

* * *

><p>'Ooh!' for a moment it seemed like crazy Rukia was back, but she quickly composed herself, 'Did all of the paintings I did have actual clothes that went with them?'<p>

'No,' staring down at the wooden box, Ichigo sighed, 'Just that one. You had Byakuya get the outfits custom made, based on your painting,'

'Really? I had the guts to actually ask him to do something?' she seemed really out of character at the moment, 'I'm like a movie star,'

'And I'm still unsure of how alright you are, cause it seems to me that you're mentally unstable,' picking up one of the plastic cases which held what was his half of the painting, Ichigo sighed deeply, 'And I can't believe you're actually serious about doing this,'

'Just shut up and get dressed,' picking up her things, Rukia disappeared into the next room, 'And hurry, we have to get into the main house without anyone seeing us. It's all well and good to say we'll dress up like that, but I'd be just a little embarrassed if someone saw us walking about in what looks like outfits you'd wear to a ball, or something,'

'I can understand where you're coming from with that,' sighing and thinking that this really had been a bad idea, Ichigo changed into his purposely untidy suit.

'Seriously . . . shut up,' the words sounded a little strained as if she was in the process of bending over at the time she spoke.

'Fine,'

* * *

><p>'This is embarrassing, why did you say you wanted to do this again?' as he stepped through the door and into the main mansion, hoping that Byakuya wasn't about to spring out of nowhere and begin a deadpan lecture, Ichigo grimaced.<p>

'I'm just as uncomfortable as you,' feeling decidedly unstable in the high shoes, Rukia was forced to hold onto Ichigo's arm, something which she resented, and the dress itself seemed so insubstantial, 'But I'm not backing down after getting all dressed up like this,'

Glaring fiercely, she released him and marched, as best one can when wearing stilettos, over to the bannister of the closest staircase, 'I'd say it was this one that I based that painting on,'

'Well, you should know,' sighing deeply, and not for the first time, Ichigo moved over and helped her up onto the stair rail, 'But I still can't think why you feel it necessary to do this,'

As she twirled the red ribbon around her arm, Rukia flinched violently before having to practically hug Ichigo in order to prevent herself from falling off the bannister, 'Oomph,'

'Just get into position already,' trying not to flush or otherwise look around nervously, Ichigo glanced down at her, 'And did I mention to hurry? Your brother _is_ home at the moment,'

'I know, I know,' positioning both her dress and her body itself in the best replica she could, Rukia them attempted to wrap the ribbon around them, almost falling off the rail again due to the action, 'You know . . . it's no good because the ribbon doesn't float like in the painting,' she blinked, 'And now we're all tied up,' the ribbon was tight around her arm now, and she could feel her fingers going numb. Strangely, the only thing she did in response to this realisation was laugh wickedly, wondering if she'd have a red mark curling around her arm once this was all over, 'Tee hee,' she couldn't help herself, 'We're tied together, literally, by this, well . . . this damned red ribbon,'

Ichigo, worried that she was about to chuckle madly again, made a self-sacrificing decision and decided that, even if it meant he'd get bashed up, having the usual strong and sometimes violent Rukia back was worth the risk . . . he kissed her.

* * *

><p>From inside his office somewhere near to the entrance hall of his mansion, Byakuya looked up, wondering in mild surprise why he could hear a rather disconcerting laughter echoing around. Standing up, he left the room and walked towards the main doors. Stopping where, if someone was in that hall, they'd be unable to see him, he peered out, slate grey eyes searching for the source of the sounds.<p>

It turned out to be _very_ unnerving for him, and the stoic man felt deeply disturbed, enough so that he turned around and walked off immediately, trying to forget what he'd just seen.

* * *

><p>Rukia blinked in shock as she saw the ends of a familiar scarf disappearing back into the mansion, and she hit Ichigo for no reason other than to release some of the stress that had immediately built up upon the realisation that her brother had just witnessed that, 'I . . . er, think we should go. <em>Now<em>,'

The quiet stress on the last word was enough to have Ichigo helping her off the bannister and then both of them bolted towards one of the side doors. A few metres later they realised that Rukia running in high heels doesn't work well, so without further hesitation, the orange haired teenager picked her up with ease and then he raced onwards.

Both of them were terribly embarrassed, but the whole thing was just so funny that by the time Ichigo reached the door, they were laughing at themselves and at Byakuya too. Although Rukia would never admit to the last part.

'Nii-sama doesn't approve of you,' Rukia was chuckling still, despite the fact she was trying to be serious, 'Whatever did you say to him? Cause I don't think he would've approved of _us_ either,'

'Byakuya's never looked at me in a fond light,' Ichigo sounded mildly vexed as he slowed his pace, 'But it's not like I care . . . he can just deal with it himself,' he put her down carefully.

Rukia laughed faintly, feeling a lot lighter for some reason, and then she flopped back onto the lush green grass. Indigo eyes widened suddenly as the image of Kaien doing the exact same thing flashed through her mind and, turning, she could almost see her friend lying on the grass beside her. It was odd sensation and, reaching out, she was honestly surprised when her hand touched nothing but air.

Watching Rukia as she lay there in her flowing white dress, looking like a model at a photo shoot, Ichigo felt unexpectedly nostalgic, 'What are you thinking about?'

As he sat down, she turned her head to look at him, the faintest of fond smiles on her lips, 'I was thinking that we should go and visit Renji. Am I right in suspecting you've never met him?'

Although that wasn't what she'd been thinking of, Rukia found she'd been unable to tell Ichigo what she thought she'd seen just then.

'Hmm . . . no, I don't think we should go and visit this Renji. I've never met him but I don't think I'd like him much,' he glanced down at her, noting the thoughtful expression on her face.

Then Rukia smirked, 'You're just jealous that he's known me since I was a kid,'

The orange haired teenager seemed to ponder this for a moment before turning his gaze to her again and speaking with utmost sincerity, 'Of course,' his tone was agreeable, as if he hadn't just admitted to being jealous of someone he'd never met before, 'After all, you're probably the most precious thing in the world to me,'

Despite the urge she had to bring out 'defence mode' Rukia, the raven haired teenager kept her mind open, contemplating what Kurosaki had just told her in such an honest manner. It was strange that she hadn't either attacked him verbally or physically, or that she hadn't run. The latter could have been because it was actually very comfortable on the grass and that she simply couldn't be bothered to move, but still . . . the overall outcome was the same.

'Really?' her tone displayed her wonder at the whole situation, 'Do you . . . do you _love_ me?'

There was something that she could feel, hovering at the edges of her mind, brushing against her heart . . . she was already touched as it was with the sweetness of the whole situation, especially since the words were mainly coming from a usually brash Ichigo, but still . . . she wanted an honest answer. Even if she didn't know how she'd reply in such a situation, she still wanted an answer.

'I guess you could say that, and I'm not surprised you asked. After all, you worked it out last time,' he wasn't looking at her now. Instead, his warm brown gaze was directed at the fading sky.

Rukia followed the direction of his stare and the faintest of smiles pulled at her lips as she watched the white clouds drifting lazily by, so high and light. Her heart felt like one of those clouds . . . right at that moment, she had not a care in the world.

* * *

><p>Indigo eyes flashed open and an unhealthily pale girl jerked upright in her bed, hair plastered to her face with sweat, any light emotions long gone from her heart and mind, replaced with a dark guilt and a fear without a cause.<p>

Not remembering what would've woken her, Rukia pulled the damp cloth from her bedside table, wiping her face carefully. In an attempt to distract herself, she began thinking about the one person who had always been there to comfort her and give her strength when she needed it, not matter what the situation might be.

_Kaien . . . I'm sorry. I wish you'd contact me, and Ukitake too . . . I know I miss you, so he must as well. I'm guilty, you know . . . I should be happy while you're gone. But when I'm with Ichigo, I can' seem to remember that these nights still plague me, and that no one's here to calm me anymore. You must've been tired after the times when you talked to me through the night after I'd come to wake you up after a nightmare. I'm sorry about that too . . ._

_Please contact us, even if it's just a single line written on a chopstick. Anything that'll let us know you're still there and that you still care. The latter of which I don't doubt, but I can imagine you going off to Korea or somewhere outside of Japan, without telling us anything._

She sighed deeply, laying down the cloth and closing her eyes again. When her thoughts resumed, they were at a different place to before, and she wasn't sure who they were directed to, if not herself . . .

_Do I love Ichigo? Things aren't the same as he'd be able to remember, I only have memories of the times we spent together, and they feel like someone else did those things . . . not me. I wonder how things could ever be the same . . . but I'm not above trying to sort the past and straighten out the present. As for the future . . . nobody knows._

The images of Kaien and Ukitake which flashed through her mind were interrupted occasionally by one of Kurosaki, and she wasn't even aware of the change, falling asleep in moments.

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<p>

First, about Rukia's painting. Well, if I had any skill at drawing myself, I'd try to make a picture of what I thought it'd look like. As it is, though, my artistic abilities when it comes to brushes, pencils, and other such tools . . . leave something to be desired. However, as a piece of 'trivia', I'm actually quite good at origami, but that has nothing to do with this. Back to the painting . . . yes, I hope I described it well enough to provide you with a mental picture something like the one I got sometime after first starting this story. Sorry!

And now to the way chapters will probably pan out from now. The next one will most likely be something light, but after that, I think it'll be, depending on your perspective, an upward or downward slope until the end. And a time skip too . . .

Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope you'll continue to do so.


	16. Chapter 15: Fair

_Chapter 15: Fair_

'_For the rest of the week I stayed home. Thoughts of school didn't bother me at all, although I should've been worried about missing so many days,' Rukia smiled softly as she folded her hands before her, looking up at the beautiful woman still sitting opposite her, 'Nothing much happened at all, except I stayed true to my resolution and I spent increased amounts of time with both Nii-sama and Ukitake. I think they were surprised, but it was all good,' she nodded slowly, 'All good . . .'_

'_So . . . when did something else happen?' the blue eyed woman smiled too, an expression which Rukia didn't doubt would break hearts, and she gestured gracefully for the teenager to continue._

_'Well . . . the weekend again. Ichigo arrived randomly on the doorstep and he just said we were going somewhere and to get ready. I told him I disliked crowded places, just because I assumed he was going to take me somewhere like that,' recalling her reluctance, she almost laughed aloud, 'But like the stupid hero he is, he said it would be okay and to _trust him_. Who would? Anyway,' she closed her eyes, the memory flowing easily from her unconscious mind into her thoughts, 'I agreed to go, and it really wasn't so bad as much as surprising . . .'_

* * *

><p>'Where do you think you're taking me?' Rukia looked around in confusion, hoping that no strange, dangerous and shifty people were hanging around, since Kurosaki had taken some rather dark back streets, 'I'm certain I'm not seeing anything amazing,'<p>

'Come on you fun killer,' she raised her eyebrows at his description but remained silent, 'It's just around the corner,' he tugged on her hand, 'You walk slow, you know that?'

'Shut up, I could walk faster than you if I want,' tripping over a loose rock on the path, Rukia stumbled forwards and out from behind the tall building they'd been walking alongside, 'Oh,'

'Oh indeed,' as he took in the bright lights of the fair and the Ferris wheel in the centre of the park, Ichigo couldn't help but discard his scowl in favour of a grin, 'Not so amazing, you say,'

'No,' Rukia corrected him strictly, 'I say shut up,' then she paused, 'And I didn't know there was something like this coming to Karakura Town. I'm a little . . . shocked,'

'I WAS TOO!' someone bellowed in a shockingly loud voice and then an auburn haired head appeared in front of the petite teenager, 'Heya Kuchiki!'

'Inoue,' both Ichigo and Rukia seemed a little taken aback, for understandable reasons, and then Ichigo elaborated on what he'd previously been saying, 'Well, it's only here for the night, so you should probably hurry,'

'Good evening Kurosaki, Kuchiki,'

Turning, Rukia watched as someone she recognised, Ishida Uryū, appeared in the street, seemingly out of nowhere, 'Hello,'

'Inoue,' another voice sounded and then Sado Yasutora reached out to stop Orihime from bolting in the wrong direction, 'It's that way,'

'Of course it is,' she smiled cheerily and then led the way into the heart of the fair, buying more food in five seconds than anyone else could possibly manage, 'Yum!'

Rukia looked around in astonishment at everything, having never been to such an event before, and then she realised something strange. Turning to Orihime, she asked the question, 'Hey, Inoue,' when she received a nod, she continued, 'Why aren't any of you shocked to see me with Ichigo now?'

'It's alright,' the girl finished her mouthful before answering, 'We knew who you were right from the start, you see. Kurosaki showed us photos and you're not impossible to recognise,'

'Photos?' coming out of her surprise, Rukia rounded on the orange haired teenager standing some paces behind her, 'What photos?'

Before anything could get out of hand, Inoue reached out and tapped her shoulder, making her turn around again, 'Don't worry, they were all decent photos,'

Unfortunately, that made Rukia angrier, and she hissed venomously, 'What? You mean there's _indecent_ photos somewhere?'

'Kurosaki isn't like that,' Orihime spoke with conviction and it was clear she honestly believed what she was saying with all of her heart.

'I hope so . . . for his sake,' taking a few deep breaths, Rukia calmed down and then she smiled, 'Well, Inoue . . . didn't you wonder why Ichigo was acting so mean to me if you knew we were friends in the past?'

'Not at all,' the fond smile and trusting look in her eyes was a little surprising for Rukia, 'I just had to trust Kurosaki. I knew if I did, everything would end up okay,'

Having gotten so used to the other teenager's bubbly and hyper personality, Rukia was surprised to see her so serious, 'And Chad and Ishida too?'

'Of course they recognised you as well. Especially Ishida, because he has a really good memory. But they wouldn't have said or done anything,' she smiled fondly again, 'Because it's just not like them,' taking Rukia's hand, she dragged the startled teenager over towards the Ferris wheel, 'Come on, let's go on. You like heights, right?'

'I do,' nodding, Rukia managed to pull Ichigo along too. He in turn somehow achieved the unexpected and was able to tow both of the other teenagers along as well.

* * *

><p>High in the air, Rukia stared out over Karakura and she breathed out in wonder, amazed at how calm she felt as the Ferris wheel slowly spun around and around. Her quiet musings were only broken by a sharp yelp, and she looked over to see Orihime with what looked like half a can of soda down her front.<p>

'Oops! Dear me, what should I do?' in such a state of hyperactivity and embarrassment, all anyone could do was watch warily until Orihime calmed down enough to take off her cardigan and dry herself as best she could with it.

'I don't think we should ever let her have cotton candy and soda at the same time,' Uryū spoke carefully, but as if he'd really thought about it.

'I agree,' Ichigo, who was watching Inoue worriedly, spoke quickly, and Chad just nodded in agreement.

'The stars seem so close,' Orihime smiled suddenly, head tilted to the sky and a dreamy look on her face, 'I wish I could wish on every single one, but if they all fell, then there'd be no more wishes, would there?'

'Now she's all sentimental,' Ichigo was rather concerned for his friend, enough so that he decided that they should all go home as soon as the ride was over, 'It wasn't long, but it _was_ fun,' he reasoned when a dazed Inoue glared at him.

'Are you coming to school on Monday?' as they stepped from the carriage, Uryū turned to Kurosaki, 'And Kuchiki too,'

'Well I'm going to go to school,' Ichigo scratched his head, wondering just how angry Misato would be, 'And I've already decided to stay there too, for a whole week,'

'Kurosaki Ichigo attending school for a whole week, oh the horror,' the bespectacled teenager almost rolled his eyes, 'You'll have a lot of catching up to do, I wonder how you'll manage,'

'I'm going too,' Rukia broke the tense silence and she glanced at each of them, 'I've probably missed out on a lot, but it can't be too hard,' she smirked, 'After all, most of class time seems to be taken up with either aimless chatter or just time wasting,'

'Sadly you're right,' Uryū sighed as he turned to leave, 'Okay then, see you both on Monday,'

'Yeah, yeah,' Ichigo shook his head in mild annoyed amusement before he turned to Chad, 'Hey, what do you think we should do with . . . where's Inoue?'

All three of them paused and looked about in concern, wondering where the 'drunk on sugar' teenager had disappeared to now. It was only after Rukia heard snoring that they realised she'd taken a few paces in the direction of her house before falling asleep.

'I'll see you at school,' the orange haired teenager grinned weakly at his old friend, 'Hey Rukia, help me here will you?'

As Sado turned and walked off, the pale teenager laughed lightly before bending to pick up her recently turned friend's bag, 'Are you sure you'll be alright carrying her the whole way?'

'It's not that far,' walking beside her with Inoue on his back, Ichigo frowned all of a sudden, 'But I'm more worried about how you're going to get home. I mean, it's late and the walk if kind of long . . .' he paused, glancing at her, 'Hey, what's with that look?'

Rukia smirked, 'It'll be fine,' she shrugged offhandedly, 'I'll just stay at your place,'

'What?' the casual comment almost made him drop the sleeping girl on his back, 'You can't do that! What if my family sees you? Or . . . hey, where do you even plan to sleep?'

'I remember your room layout. I must've been there before,' Rukia kept her gaze on the road before them, but she was listening very hard to anything he might say, 'Ichigo?'

'Yeah, you came in for about five seconds when I needed to get something. Why is that what you can remember?' he sounded a little strained, although whether it was because of the current conversation topic or Inoue's weight on his back, Rukia couldn't tell.

'You've got a cupboard,' continuing on as if he hadn't spoken, the petite teenager hid her smirk behind her hand, 'I'll just sleep in there,' halting as if she'd just realised something, she turned to stare at him incredulously, 'What? You didn't think I was actually going to sleep _with __you_,' and then she began to laugh.

'Of course not,' with a withering look on his face, Ichigo just kept on walking, 'I'm more worried about my family than anything,'

'Look, it'll be fine,' she gave him what she apparently believed to be a reassuring look, 'I'll be gone before they even have the chance to see me. Just relax a bit. And about where I'm going to sleep, I wasn't joking when I said the cupboard, so you better try to remember if its clean or not,' she crossed her arms, about to burst into a long list of requirements.

'Oh we're here!' speaking a little louder than necessary, Ichigo gestured to the correct door with his chin, 'Do you have a key?'

'I can see her spare,' wondering why Inoue would choose such an obvious hiding place, Rukia slid the silver key from behind a pot plant and then she opened the door, 'Let's go in. Do you think we should wait until she wakes up?'

'Er . . . maybe,' not certain, Ichigo just walked inside and went to lay Orihime down her lounge chair, 'Should we wake her?'

'THE CAT WORE THE HAT EATING THE UDON ON THE MAT!'

The sudden extremely loud and unexpected hollering made both of them jump, heads snapping around to stare at Inoue as she sat bolt upright, 'Inoue!'

'Oh, hello you two,' she didn't seem to realise they'd technically broken into her house, 'Why are you here? Actually . . . where are we?'

'Your house,' smiling in a way one might when looking fondly at a sister, Rukia explained what had happened, 'I'm sorry to have entered your house without asking, but you were asleep,'

'You didn't have to stay,' Orihime looked just the same as she had before the whole story had been revealed, and the realised she really was very carefree, 'But thank you, both of you,' catching sight of the time, she gasped in horror, 'Ah! You should get home! I know it's not school tomorrow, but still . . . you'll both be really sleepy!' jumping up, she practically pushed them out of the door, 'See you on Monday! Have a good night's sleep!'

As the door was slammed right then and there, Rukia and Ichigo glanced at each other before bursting out laughing, something uncharacteristic for both of them, and then they headed off in the direction of the Kurosaki house.

'Thanks, it was a good night, you idiot,' Rukia couldn't shake off her tiredness, but she wasn't going to let him know how sleepy she was.

'You're welcome,' ignoring the last part which ruined the whole thank you, Ichigo just sighed and began searching his pocket for his door key, just in case they'd have to use the window method again. It really didn't appeal to him, because having any member of his family seeing him climbing in through a window followed or preceded by some girl, wasn't something he wanted to happen in the very near future. Yuzu and Isshin would cry and be really . . . hyperactively sentimental, and Karin would just feed him smart remarks every time he came across her in the days following the event itself. Not good . . . not good at all.

'Got it!'

Rukia gave him an odd look when he produced the key with a shout that could almost rival Inoue's, 'Can you just be quiet?'

'Not at all, I'm very, very relieved at the moment,' although being quiet and being relieved aren't always connected directly, Ichigo didn't care, and he practically skipped along the path to his house.

'I am _not_ going to ask why you're acting like this. I honestly _won__'__t_,' Rukia just shook her head and hoped that his cupboard _was_ clean because she needed to sleep. Then she realised that Ukitake might be worrying about her and all in all . . . she had a headache.

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<p>

A filler before things get serious . . . so, how was it? Very random, I'm thinking, especially Inoue, but oh well . . .

I don't really have much to say this time but things will most likely be intense these coming chapters. Or as intense as one of Rukia's nightmares, maybe . . . actually, I'm not sure.


	17. Chapter 16: Warming Remembrances

_Chapter 16: Warming Remembrances _

'_You spent the next week at school?' there was an underlying tension in the woman's voice as if she knew that what was coming was dangerous, 'And then? Don't stop now, it's nearly over. You're nearly done, you've been very strong so far. Please don't stop now,'_

_Rukia couldn't work out why the usually calm and delicately composed lady was acting so concernedly. Catching the young woman's gaze, the teenager realised that in the dark blue of her eyes she could see herself, reflected. And she still looked calm, from what she could see . . . so why was this lady sounding so worried. When all the time she'd been so calm, why now . . . ?_

_'Well, yes, I went to school and then . . .' suddenly she felt something open in her head and a shudder shook her whole body, 'Argh!' clutching her head, her eyes widened in a mixture of pain and fear. Still trembling, she raised her gaze again, 'Oh yes . . . yes, everything was so _right_, so correct,' another wave of pain coursed through her, 'In reality, the whole month had been so unreal, but that was because it _was reality. _I'd been living in a world where I'd forgotten one of the most important people to me,' pale hand rising, she realised that the ribbon curled around her arm was fraying at one end, and she didn't know what it meant._

'_Focus,' the sudden calm clarity of the woman's voice pulled her from her dazed staring, 'Talk,' there was ice in her tone, a harsh cold compared to the cool breeze of before._

_Rukia raised a hand to her head, feeling tears on her cheeks. Why was she crying? That was so weak . . . and shaking . . . the trembling wasn't stopping. She was crying . . ._

_Laughing weakly, she opened her mouth to talk again, 'I don't think I can keep talking,' the pain intensified, and more tears spilled down her face, 'I don't even know why I should be sad,' she chuckled again, 'But I'll keep talking, just for you, my unnamed friend,'_

_With another laugh, Rukia opened her indigo eyes wide and met the woman's gaze directly, 'The last day of the month . . .'_

_Pain coursed through her system. Her vision was unfocused. There was a roaring sound in her ears._

'_Focus, it's alright,'_

_A cool hand touched her forehead and then everything was gone, stripped away to reveal a calm and collected layer to herself that she hadn't realised she still possessed, 'I will talk. I will face everything. I've forgotten once . . . I don't want anything to be hidden anymore!'_

* * *

><p>'Kurosaki! Kuchiki!' Ukitake stood before the strangely designed car that he travelled in when someone else was driving, 'Do you want to go for a ride?'<p>

In truth, it was he who wanted to take a trip around the town, but still . . . it would be a good opportunity to spend some time with both of them. Even if they were almost always around the mansion, he still didn't see enough of either of them. That was life, though.

'Yes, sure!' Rukia appeared pulling Ichigo by his hand, and she was smiling, wearing her favourite white dress with that crimson ribbon tied around her waist, 'Would you like one of us to drive?' even though she knew she wasn't tall enough to drive that car, she still offered.

'I'll do it,' Ichigo let go of her hand and moved over to the right side of the car, 'What? Are you two getting in?' he didn't wait for their replies before sitting himself in the driver's seat, a grin on his face. This car was pretty easy to drive, and really smooth because it was the one Ukitake was driven around in when he was sick but still needed to get out of the house.

The front consisted of the controls and a single seat, and in the back were two comfortable couch like seats that were lined along the sides of the car, parallel not perpendicular. They were each large enough to double as small beds if the need arose, but still . . . quite narrow. Anyhow, the passengers sat facing each other in the back and then there was a barrier of sorts between the two sections inside. The whole vehicle was spacious and there was a medical kit tucked under one seat. Despite all of the changes, it still managed to be the size of the average car, and there was a trunk in the back and everything.

As she slid open the door on one side, Rukia helped Ukitake in, reasoning that he mustn't be too well if he wanted to use this car _and_ get someone else to drive for him, 'Where are you wanting to drive? It's a Monday, but not too early or late . . . the traffic shouldn't be too bad,'

'Oh I don't mind, just around the town maybe,' Jūshirō hoped he wasn't being a bother, but he'd really needed a change of scenery, as one does if they spend a lot of time at home.

'Are you both buckled up?' Ichigo knew he sounded like his dad, and that annoyed him, but he needed to know that both passengers were properly secure before starting the engine.

'Yes,' they both replied, sitting opposite each other, although there was still room before their knees would bump. That was another good thing about the car, as because the seats weren't very long, and each was equipped with three seat belts, it could potentially hold six people and a driver. Not that they'd ever tried.

'Let's go then,' listening with satisfaction to the quiet purr of the engine, Ichigo began to steer the car down the drive, 'This should be a good trip, although I still don't know where we're going,'

Rukia and Ukitake exchanged an amused glance, and then the former spoke for both of them, 'Well neither do we, so just make it scenic,'

'So many requirements, you couldn't get any more detailed, could you?' hiding his smile behind a scowl, Ichigo sighed deeply.

* * *

><p>'<em>Where the hel-,' Rukia cut herself off quickly, glancing at Ukitake who was pretending he hadn't heard anything, 'Where do you think Kaien is, Ukitake?'<em>

_As they waited in the foyer of the airport, both of them looked around carefully, trying to spot a familiar black haired young man who was supposed to be somewhere around the place._

'_Well, what I heard was that he'd been staying in Tokyo after coming back from Kyoto, but that now, since he's coming home, he had to go back to pick all of his things up,' the white haired man smiled kindly, 'And only he'd know why he left anything there in the first place. But,' he looked around again, 'That's why we're here waiting, right now,'_

'_He better hurry,' scowling deeply and getting quite a few stares from passing people, Rukia wished that her old friend would just hurry up, 'I'm already sick of waiting,'_

'_That desperate to see me? I'm touched,'_

'_KAIEN!' her shout took quite a few people by surprise and one woman even dropped her bags in shock._

'_Er, Kuchiki,' Ukitake tried to calm her down, 'I think perhaps you should save such enthusiastic behaviour for later. We are in a public place, remember,'_

_Rukia, who happened to not be listening, rounded on a sheepishly smiling Kaien, 'Why did you have to sneak up on us! And why didn't you come through that gate?' she pointed at said gate rather accusingly, 'Don't tell me you've been waiting in this foyer too? And you just happened to fail to notice both of us! I mean . . . how could you miss-,' cutting herself off just before she could say 'Ukitake's damn white hair', Rukia fell silent abruptly._

'_Hey, I'm glad to see you again too,' slightly taken aback but mostly amused, Kaien ruffled her hair in an easy, familiar way, 'And you as well Ukitake,' he paused, 'Captain, sir,'_

_'Oh . . . I can't believe this,' Rukia looked up and batted his hand away, 'You're _still _playing that game? We haven't . . . since you left, that is,' she hadn't meant to say the last part._

_'Really? Sorry about that . . . I guess I was away longer than I thought I'd be,' he turned towards the doors, 'So how about we go home? I'm just _dying _to see the other Kuchiki,'_

_Rukia recalled how tense her brother had looked and she winced slightly, 'I suggest you be on your best behaviour, seriously, he's not in a brilliant mood today,'_

'_Is he ever?' not fully listening and already a few metres away, Kaien called for them to hurry, 'We'll never leave the airport at this rate, you know. What happened to our diligent shinigami trio? Kuchiki, you've been slacking off on your training, haven't you? As your Lieutenant, I'm incredibly disappointed!' he waggled a finger in front of her face as she approached._

'_You'll never grow up, will you?' she said it with a wry smile on her face, 'Even after studying you still take that game so seriously, really, I'm honestly amazed,'_

'_And so you should be,' as they exited the building, Kaien looked around, expecting to see the same car as the one he'd been taken to the airport in, quite a long while ago, 'Where's the-,'_

'_Car,' Ukitake stood in front of his new and specially designed vehicle. It had been specially ordered by the hospital, although he didn't know why they treated him so specially. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he lived on the Kuchiki Estate . . . Byakuya was a rather large influence, even if he didn't know it . . . or mean for things like this to happen because of him._

'_Wow,' running over to the car, Kaien peered inside. He then held up the keys which he had somehow spirited away from Ukitake. Unlocking the doors, he moved around to put all of his bags in the trunk. 'All' being a single suitcase and two carry bags._

_Rukia stared and she wondered just what he'd been doing in terms of clothes and what not if that's all he'd brought back, then, as he began to investigate the vehicle further, she wandered over, trying to hide just how happy she really was to see him again._

'_By the way, Kaien,' he looked up and she continued, 'There's someone I want you to meet,'_

'_Hmm?' he straightened, scratching his head curiously, 'Now who would little sixteen year old Kuchiki want me to meet?' grinning, he leaned closer and whispered, 'Is it your boyfriend?'_

_As the aqua green eyed man jumped aside to avoid her punch, Rukia cursed the fact that he knew her well enough to predict her next move. It was unfortunate, really, because after what he'd said, she'd really wanted to hit him. Not that he wasn't correct . . . _

'_I'm so totally right,' pretending to be something she certainly hoped he wasn't, Kaien once again leapt away from her, still agile despite the half year that he'd supposedly spent studying, 'Kuchiki's got a boyfriend,' it looked like he was about to turn it into a chant, so she just turned and walked off, back to where Ukitake stood on the footpath._

* * *

><p>Ukitake watched Rukia's expression change from annoyed, to shocked, surprised and then delighted. Then he noticed how she was trying to hide her happiness behind a scowl. This show of emotion in quick succession, while she sat opposite him in the car, was unusual, and it seemed strangely familiar. Then he noticed how her eyes were unfocused and when she smiled, she looked a little <em>younger<em> that she really was.

_Is __she __. __. __. __is __she,_ he didn't want to face the possibility, but the evidence was practically staring at him from across the short gap to the other side of the car, _What __is __she __remembering __now?_

He glanced over at Kurosaki, noting the look of concentration on the teenager's face and he hoped that nothing would get out of hand. Because the possible consequences would impact all of them, Byakuya included.

* * *

><p>'<em>I'll drive us home, alright?' as he completed his inspection of the outside of the vehicle and instead began studying the controls, Kaien stuck his head out and called to them, 'It doesn't look hard,'<em>

'_No, no, I'll do it,' Ukitake smiled, not wanting to burden his ward with such a responsibility straight after he'd gotten home, or almost home, 'I've had my medications, I should be fine,'_

_'It's fine,' the young man grinned in his familiar way, 'I know you don't want to trouble me, but really, it's the least I can do after being away for such a long time,' he put on a mournful face, 'But it doesn't seem like _everyone _missed me. How could you move on so fast?'_

'_Hey, don't start blaming me!' Rukia was annoyed at him, although she knew he was just teasing her, 'You didn't have to go, and what was I supposed to do? Sit around waiting for half a year?' she crossed her arms defensively, 'And it's too dangerous to allow you to drive! Only a fool would let you have control of a vehicle, sorry Ukitake,' show bowed to the white haired man in apology for the insult before turning back to Kaien, 'And plus, the roads are really busy at the moment!'_

'_Oh, it's so sweet that you're worried about me,' he smiled at her teasingly, 'Are you my long lost mother?' somehow, although he'd used to be very sensitive about his parents' deaths, it was clear he'd been able to forgive himself for being the only survivor of that fire._

'_Shut up,' glancing back at Ukitake, she sent him a pleading look, something she'd never normally do, and she could only hope Kaien, who was rummaging around inside one of his bags, hadn't noticed what she'd done. Seeing as they were both switching in and out of role-play, she did the same, giving herself the perfect guise to hide her concern under._

'_Captain! We must save Kaien!' she didn't feel at all strange pretending to be in character, even after taking such a long break from their game._

'_If you save Kaien,' Ukitake caught on quickly, and he made it seem like a live or die situation – he really was good at the game, really – looking down at Rukia, he continued, 'Then what becomes of his pride? If you go to his aid now,' he was really getting into his role, 'His life will be saved,' that made Rukia blink in surprise, wondering how serious Ukitake was taking this little game, 'But-,'_

_She seriously thought she could die from the suspense. After all this time, he still remembered his 'two types of battles' speech, the one he'd drilled into their heads when they'd played before._

'_At the same time, it would end up killing his pride for all eternity,'_

Wow, _Rukia__'__s __thoughts __were __purposefully __deadpan, _All eternity . . . Kaien, I never knew driving us home meant so much to you. Or your pride, for that matter . . . at one stage I honestly didn't believe you had any, but that was a long time ago.

_Still, she was in role, so she had to respond properly, 'What does pride matter?' she honestly sounded perfectly torn up with anguish, 'Compared to life, pride is nothing!'_

_'Listen,' Ukitake really looked like some wise old warrior as he spoke, 'And remember well. There are two kinds of fights. As long as we place ourselves in battle, we must _always_ know the difference,' he really looked intense, 'Fights to defend life . . . and fights to defend pride. Right now . . . he is fighting for his pride,' they both looked over to where Kaien was glaring ferociously at the buttons which controlled the windscreen wipers._

'_I see,' smothering a smile at how overly dramatic the words were in relation to this situation, Rukia nodded, relaxing, 'Then I guess I'll just have to live with that decision,'_

'_Don't worry, Kuchiki, he'll be fine,' Ukitake, sliding out of his impressive captain role, smiled kindly at her, and then both of them moved over to the car._

'_I've got everything figured out,' sounding very knowledgeable, Kaien grinned at them before starting the engine._

* * *

><p>Jūshirō was now positively anxious, watching Rukia in her dazed state, and Ichigo driving carefully at the same time, something that was making him dizzy. He could ask Kurosaki to pull over, and then they could both check to make sure Kuchiki was alright, but then again, doing that might make the petite teenager lose focus. And for a long time, focusing had been the only thing keeping her sane.<p>

Worried so much that he could feel a cough coming on, Ukitake resolved to remain a close observer of Kuchiki until she either snapped out of her strange state, a state in which she was probably remembering far more than they'd ever imagined, or fell asleep.

It was possible that, in a state of heightened emotion, Rukia could simply fall unconscious and be naturally prevented from injuring herself at all. He could only hope that would happen, because if his memory served him well, the expressions she'd been making showed a very excited and cheerful teenager . . .

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<p>

Suspense! Maybe . . . I think I'm just overly excited. Anyhow, this is the beginning of the end - see how dramatic all of this is? - and soon everything should be revealed.

Hope you'll enjoy the last few chapters of this story!


	18. Chapter 17: Unfreezing by Spring

_Chapter 17: Unfreezing by Spring_

Rukia was seeing two worlds, one in reality, the landscape of Karakura passing by outside of the car, Ukitake's tired face . . . and one in her head, the airport, a very similar car . . . Kaien. She was feeling two sets of emotion as well, one content and relaxed, the other nervous and worried, and for a moment she couldn't connect each feeling with one of the worlds.

She shouldn't be having these flashbacks now, it wasn't an appropriate time, especially because she might end up worrying Ukitake, which would make her feel terribly guilty. Consequently, in an effort to return fully to reality, she shoved hard against the memories trying to consume her mind. Pushing with straining muscles . . .

_Close your eyes, calm you soul, listen to your heartbeat . . . be enveloped in the memory . . ._

The words echoed through her head, hauntingly familiar as if she'd heard them countless time before. Always heard but never, ever remembered. Never recalled how it felt to have her mind pulled away from her control, like a pebble dropped into the depths of the ocean, losing any semblance of security. Getting taken wherever the water willed it to go.

_Don't let it consume you . . . don't let it rip your sanity to shreds . . . _

No! She didn't want this to be happening right now, not after such a wonderful day. Even her nightmare the previous evening didn't faze her as much as these searing words. And it was so cold, as if everything inside her body had been frozen long ago, only to begin cracking now as the warm spring wind swept through her. A spring filled with everything that she despised, not the spring where sakura petals drifted along in the wind, no . . . certainly not.

_Deep inside your mind, feel the flow of your life . . . frozen thoughts are breaking free . . ._

She was struggling against invisible bonds, lashing out aimlessly, eyes blinded by darkness. She could feel her heartbeat thudding away in her chest, the sound louder than any drum. Her physical eyes closed, but in her soul, she could feel anything but serenity. Still, steadily, the beating of her heart slowed, the turmoil in her soul calmed . . . the memory was taking her.

_Are __you __ready_?

* * *

><p>'<em>No, I don't want to hear anymore! You're disgusting, how could you have eaten something like that? You could've gotten seriously ill, even died,' Rukia blocked her ears exaggeratedly, cutting Kaien's horror story short, 'If you need to say such things, say them in third person, not first! It's just unlucky that I can see you eating something as foul as that!'<em>

'_I'm insulted, I thought that story was really good,' focusing on the road, Kaien still managed to send back his retort with ease._

_'What? You're _not _insulted that I thought you'd actually do something like that?' Rukia almost gagged, 'Wait . . . don't tell me this story is true?'_

'_Of course not! I'd never be so careless that I'd end up in such a situation anyway, just relax, I was kidding,' chuckling, the black haired young man shook his head in amusement, 'You're so serious, Kuchiki, you should lighten up a bit. I can't believe you got a boyfriend if you've been acting like this the whole time I've been away. Oh, and about that, you mentioned you wanted me to meet him,' he paused, considering, 'Is there any special reason why?'_

'_You'll see,' having invited Ichigo over that night after telling him who was coming home, Rukia couldn't wait to see their expressions when they saw each other. Still, Ichigo had an advantage, because he both knew that it was Kaien returning, and that they supposedly resembled each other closely._

_'I hate surprises, you know that?' not meaning it, but seeing if she'd fall for the trick of sorts, Kaien plastered a depressed expression on his face, just in case she was watching. When he got no response, he brightened and said loudly, 'Is your boyfriend a pervert, Kuchiki? Cause if he is, I'll knock him out before I said _it's nice to meet you_,' he hid his grin with practiced precision. _

'_Hey! You better be civil, alright?' wondering how Ukitake could doze through their argument, Rukia leaned towards the front of the car, trying to convey her message clearer by getting closer, although how proximity was going to aid her transmission, only she'd know._

'_Hey, Kuchiki?' after a short silence, Kaien spoke again, putting on his 'older brother' voice._

'_Yeah?' she glanced up from studying her hands, curious as to what he might want, 'Kaien?'_

'_I missed you, and congratulations,' he sounded very sincere, 'About getting a boyfriend . . . I never thought you would. But I'm glad, just in case you forced me to marry you in order to make your brother happy. That would've been a fate worse than death. Wouldn't you agree?'_

_Rukia, who at first had been touched by his sentiment, was now glaring ferociously and trying to control herself before she broke something, 'KA. I. E. N,' she pronounced every sound with chilling precision, 'You better be joking, about thinking poorly of me and marriage and whatever other crap you included in that speech . . . or else I'll-,'_

_Looking up, she was about to deliver her threat in a truly frightening way, when a sudden movement caught her eye and the words died on her lips._

'_I was joking, don't worry. Of course you aren't that bad, I'm serious about not meaning it,' he was worried, but not about to take his eyes off the road long enough to turn to check whether or not she was alright, 'Kuchiki?'_

Metastacia . . . a small experimental offshoot of a large firm based in Tokyo . . .

'_Kuchiki?' when she continued to not respond to anything, threats and insults included, Kaien found himself getting more and more concerned for her, 'Kuchiki? Are you alright?'_

_There was movement in the back of the car and Ukitake woke up suddenly. Seeing Rukia frozen with an expression of fear on her face, he turned to look in the direction in which she was staring, his green eyes widened in shock, 'Kaien-,'_

_Before he could warn his ward, who was now far more concerned with what was happening in the back of the car, rather than the road, Jūshirō coughed harshly, blood falling from between the fingers of the hand he clapped over his mouth, 'At a time like this . . .' his words were no more than a pained whisper._

* * *

><p>They were just outside of town now, she could see it in the lessening of buildings on the roadside and the increase in traffic. It was no good, her mind wasn't coping in handling the two levels of consciousness at the same time. Neither memory nor reality affecter the other and so she was left stretched thin over the gap between them, trying to register what she was seeing in both worlds.<p>

_A truck, swerving violently, only visible from the back of the car, hidden by traffic if you sat in the front . . ._

What was going on, was she seeing double? Was her mind crumbling under the weight of two worlds forced into one mind?

No . . . there was two trucks. Two trucks at two different times, two trucks at almost the same but almost different places. The same frozen feeling in both worlds, the same wide eyed stare, words dying in her throat, speech made impossible due to the fear. That all-consuming fear.

Rukia heard wet coughing, and she forced her neck to turn just enough to watch as a shocked Ukitake spat blood which ran down his arm, covering the hand pressed to his lips. Words dancing behind his eyes, trapped in the frail form of his body . . . words of warning.

* * *

><p><em>She couldn't move, half seconds seemed like hours as she listened to Ukitake's pained rasping and Kaien's worried voice asking them again and again what was wrong, what he should do, if they could hold on until he got off the road. Her mind screamed out warnings that would never reach her cold lips, and her body imagined how easy it would be to move and alert her old friend to the danger . . . but she couldn't move at all.<em>

_All she could do was watch with empty violet eyes as the truck, labelled 'Metastacia' in orange and green-grey, came into full view. And not just in her line of sight anymore, or even Jūshirō's . . . Kaien would also be able to see it now. _

_If only he'd been looking._

* * *

><p>'Crap!' Ichigo's alarmed voice rang out through the interior of the car as he realised that there was a white truck, unmarked of anything except a registration number, coming almost directly towards them, 'Why the hell didn't I see that?' beginning to swerve, carefully as he could hear the harsh coughing of Ukitake in the back of the car, he shouted out, 'Rukia? Rukia are you alright? Can you hear me? Is Ukitake okay? It's going to be fine, I'll get us out of this. Don't worry, I won't let either of you get hurt,'<p>

He was turning the vehicle, and all of his attention was absorbed in the task. She was so glad he'd seen the vehicle, unlike Kaien in the past, but anyone who might've been watching would've seen he wasn't turning nearly fast enough to avoid a collision.

Rukia could feel a devastated smile forming on her lips, so faint that no one but her would even know it was there, and a single tear slid from one wide violet eye.

* * *

><p><em>There was a great smashing sound of collapsing metal, the crunch of shattering glass, and the screech of spinning tires. The impact of the truck as it smashed into the car sent the three occupants of the smaller vehicle snapping against their seat belts as their bodies moved due to a motion that wasn't their own. The car was spinning, sliding uncontrollably, crashing off the road and into one of the trees that made up the uneven line some metres from the edge of the asphalt. <em>

_There was a moment broken only by the noise of a broken down car and an only slightly damaged truck. Then people began pulling over, withdrawing their phones to dial an ambulance, to get those poor people who'd been in that car . . . maybe even the driver of that truck. For even if he had been driving illegally, when the realisation of what he'd caused caught up with him, surely even he might need counselling, might need some help. What type of person could go on with their life after making something so terrible happen? Maybe only a monster._

_Crawling from the wreck of a car, cradling her chest and feeling blood run down the side of her neck, no doubt due to a head injury of some sort, Rukia pulled Ukitake out after her, supporting him as best she could while her whole body was numb and her legs were shaking, preventing her from standing. Setting the white haired man down, and trying not to look at his blood stained hand, or the crimson around his mouth, she pulled aside some piece of wreckage, and reached inside what had formerly been the front component to the car._

_Her hand brushed something soft and wet, but she didn't pull back. Instead, she moved closer, dragging a limp form from the ruins, moving away from the wreck and closer to Ukitake._

_In the rain that fell in smooth grey curtains from the sky, she was so numb and cold, the wet warmth pressed against her hands the only source of heat in the iciness enveloping her. It was blood . . . Kaien's blood. Was he dead . . . _

'_Captain,' her old friend might've been the only person in the world to continue playing a youthful game, even while his life blood slipped away and his heart fought to keep beating, 'Thank you so much . . . for letting me fight,' _

_So he'd heard what they'd said, every word from Jūshirō, every protest which left Rukia's mouth._

_A relatively uninjured Ukitake, apart from the continued bout of his illness, spoke levelly, 'Yeah,' but the sorrow was clear in his green eyes._

_And Rukia, kneeling with Kaien's body leaning against her, she was still frozen, still wide eyed, with tears staining her cheeks, mingling with the rain, still unable to believe what had happened . . . what she hadn't done, 'K-kaien,'_

'_Kuchiki . . .' it was clear that every word was an effort, but he didn't stop talking, 'I put you in terrible danger by making you go along with my selfishness. I'm sorry. It must've been hard. Thanks,' his voice lost any of its remaining strength, dropping to a hoarse murmur, 'Because of you . . . I can leave my heart here,'_

_The hand which she didn't realise was pressed to her back fell, and she realised that, like in the days when they ran wildly around the Estate, laughing, fighting, teasing . . . like in those good, happy times, he was forgiving her. He was saying it was alright that she hadn't moved to warn him. He was _thanking _her, and saying he'd leave his heart with them, with her._

No . . . I haven't done a single thing worthy of thanks, _her __hand __moved __on __its __own __accord, __coming __to __rest __on __his __back._

I love walking in the rain . . . because then no one knows I'm crying . . .

_The tears fell from her haunted eyes, the rain soaking her blood stained clothes . . . even if no one would be able to distinguish her crying from the rainwater, they would still be able to hear her broken sobs as she slowly crumpled to the ground, still holding the lifeless body of her closest friend. The cheeky, eccentric guy who'd become everything to her . . . who'd become her world._

The only person I saved was . . . myself

_Everything swirled into clarity in a single moment. The noise of the ambulance sirens wailing. The murmur of the people peering down at them. The sounds of the paramedics rushing towards them, carrying stretchers. Ukitake's hacking cough as he continued to spit up more and more blood, this being the worst bout of his illness that he's suffered in quite a long while. The rain pounding into the soft ground and the bitumen too. The feeling of blood running over her hands. The feeling of crimson liquid passing from her own wounds._

Was Ukitake hurt? Or was it just his illness preventing him from rising?

_The paramedics were approaching him just now, and he didn't look physically injured . . . what a relief._

But Kaien . . .

_Her sobs turned into a piercing scream that made the onlookers turn away, unable to look upon the owner of such a heartbroken and lost noise. Pain flew through her body, freezing her trembling form and slashing agony into her chest._

_Memories of all the times they'd shared with each other flashed through her mind, and there were so many. So many smiling, laughing recollections of the black haired boy . . . as they talked, fought with their wooden ruler 'katanas', and cooked for Ukitake._

_The continual stream was suddenly cut short, just before the fresh memories of preparing to meet him, travelling to the airport, calling Ichigo to let him know what was happening, seeing her old friend for the first time in half a year, talking to Ukitake about battles, getting into the car . . . talking some more with Kaien himself. And the crash._

_Those thoughts were frozen, just like her body had been . . . and then they fell from her mind, disappearing from her library of recollections, vanishing all the way to the depths of her soul . . . the frozen sanctuary of sorts that held things that her mind rejected with all of its might, kept the pain away from her, all locked up and sealed tightly._

'_**It appears this girl has gone into a state of shock, possibly a mild coma. There's a high possibility she'll suffer from psychogenic amnesia, or repressed memory syndrome, as this seems like a highly emotionally traumatising event. Am I right?'**_

'_You're very right,' Ukitake's voice was soft, and it was the last thing she heard before falling into the black of unconsciousness._

* * *

><p><em><em>So that's why I couldn't remember Ichigo, I really did have amnesia, or repressed memory syndrome<em>, _timewas going so slow, that she could see every detail in her surroundings, trace every line of blood running down Ukitake's fingers, watch Ichigo's expression slowly losing its determination in the realisation of just how hopeless the situation was, _And that's why no one talks about Kaien, except when they joke. They must just have been trying to reassure me . . . or maybe themselves. _

_**Shiba Kaien is dead.**_

__My nightmares too . . . it's Kaien's body in that pillar of light, isn't it? And his blood as well . . . how horrible, __violet eyes moved slowly to watch the truck nearing the car, each inch it moved seeming to take hours, _And how insensitive I was to always talk about him. They had to listen, and refrain from telling me the truth. They had to suffer because of me. Why? Because they were all trying to protect me._

_I'm a truly terrible person._

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<p>

So the reason for Rukia's memory loss finally becomes clear. And it seems like she's probably suffering from a particularly potent bout of 'angst' at the moment. Poor Kaien . . . I feel sad, but that might just be because I wrote this . . . anyway . . . despite the not so happy mood in the story at the moment, I'd be grateful if you'd keep reading.


	19. Chapter 18: End of the Dream

_Chapter 18: End of the Dream_

'Rukia, get back and stay back!' knowing by now that the truck was going to clip the front of the car, and anyone sitting near that area would take the full force of the blow, Ichigo shouted out to her, 'Move Ukitake too, don't stay anywhere near me!'

His words broke the ice holding her body still, and she turned to look at him with her wide, liquid violet eyes, 'Ichigo,' her voice was insubstantial, but somehow she knew he'd heard her.

In one of those suspended seconds, they simply gazed at each other, his eyes reflected in the mirror, filled with concern and the desire to protect.

And then she moved, hauling the coughing Jūshirō to the seat furthest from the front and as far away from the expected impact zone as possible. She secured his seatbelt tightly and then she ripped open one of the seat covers, pulling out the cushion and tucking it around his head.

She would not allow him to be forced into hospitals more than was necessary.

Then, as she turned back to the front, the world split once more and she staggered to the side, hands clutching at the seat, trying to put the seatbelt back on, trying to do what she knew she couldn't. Looking up once more, she realised that Ichigo had his eyes closed now, and that in this suspended time, he was holding back his tears.

And they weren't just for himself, no, he was crying because they might get hurt, and because if things turned out along the worst case scenario . . . he might never see them again.

* * *

><p>'<em>You cannot be allowed to see Kuchiki Rukia any longer,' a stoic and cold Byakuya glared impassively at the orange haired teenager seated before him, 'I have been informed that she may suffer a mental breakdown if she recalls that Shiba Kaien is dead,' there was a pause, 'You, Kurosaki Ichigo, are a reminder, as she was planning to introduce you to Shiba Kaien the night he returned. Something to do with your appearances,'<em>

'_I . . . understand,' looking over to where Rukia lay on her hospital bed, his brown eyes hardened, taking in her emaciated and pale appearance. She'd been in a state of shock for a few days now, hardly responsive to any form of stimulus but not in a coma. They'd already established that she could no longer recall anything that had happened after Kaien went off to study, when she was around fifteen and a half. She had no recollection of their first meeting, because that had been just after her old friend had left . . . it was so hard to come to terms with such a loss. _

_Both of someone he loved, even though she wasn't dead, and of someone he'd come to know through her, even if they'd never met. It was still like losing a friend._

'_Are you certain, Kurosaki Ichigo?' halting just before he swept from the white walled hospital room, Byakuya looked back at the teenager with his emotionless slate grey eyes._

'_Absolutely. I swear I won't get involved with her again,' holding back the harsh remarks that threatened to spill from his mouth, Ichigo turned away to face the single hospital bed again. Trust Byakuya to get his sister into a private room, but still, he was glad that there weren't any other people around. For just a little longer, he wanted to be by Rukia's side. Just until she came into a full state of awareness of the things around her, he wanted to stay with her._

'_Very well,' without another pause, the Head of the Kuchiki family exited the room, all pride and cold power, 'Ukitake,' _

_If anyone had been listening hard enough, they'd have detected a slight amount of surprise in the man's stoic tone, but he was gone before either of the currently able persons in the room registered anything of the sort._

'_Ukitake?' Ichigo sounded shocked, and he rose, 'Are you alright? Is it okay for you to be moving around? I heard you were really . . . sick,'_

_'I'm fine now,' placing the blood stained handkerchief behind his back, and glad the painkillers were working at that moment, Jūshirō gave a weak smile, looking past the teenager to the girl lying still on the bed, 'Like usual, they can't do anything for me but give me things for the pain, but I'm glad they think they'll be able to lead Kuchiki on the road to a full recovery,' he sat down at the same time as Ichigo, 'Although she won't be able to get _those _memories back,'_

_Not wanting to interrupt, but unable to hear all that again, Ichigo shook his head, 'I know, I know, and I'm not to go near her at any cost,' he bit his lip hard enough that the he could taste the copper of his blood._

'_I'm sorry, Kurosaki,' knowing it was hardly enough, Jūshirō didn't expect an answer, but he felt that some sort of comfort in the form of an apology was necessary for the teenager. Not pausing to make Ichigo uncomfortable, just in case he felt the need to respond, the white haired man began talking again, 'You might've heard this already too, but they think she'll be in here for about six months. They don't want to risk letting her out until they know she won't suffer further mental trauma except under direct and powerful stimulus,' he closed his eyes, 'And once she's discharged from the hospital, she's going to have to stay on the Estate, maybe for that same amount of time again. I've discussed it with Kuchiki, and he seems to agree,' recalling the absolutely blank expression on the man's face, Ukitake nodded again, 'Yes, I'm certain he agreed,'_

'_I didn't know that,' speaking after a short pause, Ichigo looked up, meeting the man's green gaze, 'So thank you,'_

_Jūshirō was silent for another minute, simply staring at Kurosaki and then Kuchiki, and then he gave his careful, kind smile, 'You're welcome,'_

* * *

><p>Rukia felt reality slide back into place, the memory withdrawing from consuming all of her thoughts, and, looking once again at the truck, still screeching in its deadly path towards them, slowed by some force outside of her control, she moved. Jumping forwards, she crashed into the separating barrier, unlocking the door which allowed the two parts of the car to be connected, and she rushed through. Seconds later, in a time span which seemed like minutes, she was right before Ichigo as he looked up in shock, hands still on the wheels, opening his mouth to ask what on earth she thought she was doing.<p>

She didn't wait for him to speak.

With undignified tears streaming down her cheeks, Rukia reached out and grabbed Ichigo's shoulders, yanking him out of the driver's seat, and shoving him into the back of the car, locking the compartment door. As she slid into the unoccupied space, time began to quicken, resuming its normal tempo in a few heartbeats.

She spun the wheel recklessly, as fast and hard as she could.

Tears blurred her sight, her pale hands were shaking uncontrollably, sobs clawed at her dry throat . . . she couldn't stop now, couldn't give up now. If she was unnecessary, if she'd twisted people's fates before, then now she could finally return the favours of all the people who constantly took the time to help her.

The truck hit the front of the car, sending familiar screeches and shattering sounds echoing through the strangely still air. Rukia felt her body slam into the side door, head hitting the glass, hard enough to send cracks shooting out across the surface. Like a spider's web . . .

The vehicle was spinning, sending her lurching and snapping this way and that, and the deadly game of tag had finally been won. The truck had finally reached its mark, and now there would be more than one person who'd pay. An amount measured in sorrow and agony.

'Rukia!'

From a distant place which she was hardly connected to anymore, the blood on her head and the searing pain in her arm far more powerful, she could hear someone shouting out. It sounded like they were in pain, although whether that pain was physical or psychological, she couldn't tell. And she didn't make any more noise, except for the ragged breaths tearing up from her chest and scraping along her raw throat, and the hopeless noise of her crying.

The car slammed into a tree, the familiarity of the situations taking what little breath she had away . . . so similar and so soon after reliving the original accident. Faintly she could hear the truck screeching to a halt, other cars pulling over, people shouting out, dialling on their phones.

It was all so, so familiar to her, but there was one difference that changed everything.

This time it wasn't Kaien who'd been sitting in the front of the car, nor was it the young man it could have been . . . no, this time it was her.

The sour taste of blood stung her tongue, and more of that same hot liquid ran down from a wound somewhere on her head, covered by her hair. Each breath became agony as she realised that, in another parallel to the past, at least one of her ribs was broken. Bruises blossomed across her skin like flowers heralding the death of the fallen. Her sight was fading, her ears roaring . . . pain shocking her whole body.

Then, in a single heartbeat, she was standing beside Ichigo as the teenager pulled the coughing Ukitake from the wreck, taking the role she would have assumed if everything had been repeated again in the same way as before. A perfect canon . . .

The orange haired teenager looked alright, albeit bruised, bloodied and with a haunted, guilty expression on his face, even as he asked Jūshirō if he was alright. From the way he held his arm, it looked like it was broken, and there was a long glass cut running along his skin as well.

But he was alive.

And Ukitake, with his blood coated hands and mouth, he looked so similar to how he had before. The bruises on the man's skin weren't as bad as one might expect, but his coughing would show just how ill he really was. And no one could heal that sickness.

But he too, was alive, just like before . . .

Another intake of breath, another few beats of her heart . . . Rukia was back in her battered body and someone was lifting her out of the broken car, carefully as if she was about to break into a thousand pieces, hesitant as if they didn't know what to expect when they saw her.

It began to rain.

'R-Rukia,' someone's voice in her ear, familiar, heartbroken, pained . . . Ichigo.

'Y-you're al-right,' the words were forced from her lips, each syllable taking more and more of her remaining strength, her voice shaking but relieved, she tried to hide just how much it all pained her, 'I'm . . . I'm so gl-ad,'

'Don't sound so sad!' she could hear silent screams howling out into the rain filled sky, 'It's going to be alright, it'll be okay,' he was crying, although he never really had before, not in front of her, 'You're such an idiot!' his broken arm, the cuts, the bruises . . . they could never hurt as much as looking at the tiny figure in his arms, dripping with rain and blood, 'Why did you think this was better? Why didn't you just listen to what I told you to do? What did you think would be better this way?'

The sirens of the ambulance wailed out into the rainy darkness and a few moments later, two paramedics approached Ukitake.

'Rukia? Are you awake? Don't go to sleep, no matter what . . . don't go to sleep. Don't you dare leave me,' he didn't know why he was so worried. She might just have had some light wounds on her head and a couple of broken ribs but even that wasn't fatal.

But, as he watched her unfocused indigo eyes slowly beginning to close, Ichigo wondered if she thought she'd completed her life now. If she'd finally, unconsciously forgiven herself for Kaien's death . . . and now? Now she had nothing more to fight for?

'There's two more people?' the voice of the man who'd previously been speaking to Ukitake sounded closer to them than before, 'Two more stretchers over here then. Can you tell me where you are?' the man called out, peering through the rain and gloom.

'Here,' Ichigo's voice had no strength, and his arms tightened around Rukia's limp form, 'Over here,'

The orange haired teenager could tell that at least three of the paramedics were nearing them, and he knew that soon he'd be inside of an ambulance getting driven away to hospital. It would be tight, because he'd only heard one, and unless Ukitake was well enough to be sitting up, all three stretchers were going to have to fit, not that he wanted to be in one. But why was he even thinking about that when the only thing that should be taking up his attention was the girl fading away before him.

'Rukia,' he spoke slightly louder, closer to her ear, and her half closed eyes opened, 'Don't leave everyone. Think about Ukitake and Byakuya . . .' he cut himself off, biting his lip hard. The paramedics were so close now, searching through the wreckage, calling out . . . but he didn't reply anymore. All he could think of was that there was nothing more for Rukia in this world, even if she hadn't decided it herself . . . her mind, or maybe it was her soul, whichever one it was, some part of her had given up now.

'Don't,' a pale, delicate hand touched his cheek softly before falling once again.

Opening his eyes again, Ichigo stared down at Rukia's softly smiling face, the tears and blood staining her cheeks and the way she was so cold in his arms, 'Rukia?'

'Please don't,' the breath slipped over her lips and her violet eyes finally closed, '. . . cry,'

There was a long silence, in which the orange haired teenager slowly registered her words, and then, just as he realised he too was crying, the paramedics finally arrived at their location. Then, as he realised that it had really only been a few minutes since he'd first heard Ukitake talking to the ambulance workers, Ichigo watched silently as Rukia was taken away from him and placed on a rain soaked stretcher. And the paramedics examined her quickly before one of them approached him, asking whether or not he could stand.

* * *

><p>They made a sombre parade, walking back to the ambulance as the rain continued to fall.<p>

Ukitake at Ichigo's side, not saying a word, but simply comforting the teenager through his presence, the ambulance workers carrying the single stretcher on which lay Rukia.

'Excuse me,' as they boarded the ambulance, one of the workers pulled them aside, being careful not to bump Ichigo's broken arm, 'Is that girl related to either of you?' when both of them shook their heads, he nodded before continuing, 'Well, from what we can see, she's in a serious coma,' neither of them said anything, so the man seemed to hesitate before adding, 'Since she's not reacting to direct stimulus, the chances of her waking up are . . .'

'Slim?' Ukitake thought to help the poor fellow out, smiling as best he could through the shock and worry filling his mind.

The man shook his head, turning away slightly, 'Almost non-existent,'

Jūshirō looked at Ichigo, who seemed to be about to say something. Turning back to the man, they followed him into the ambulance.

'She spoke to me, how can she be in a coma?' he sounded very distant.

'I don't know, maybe she stayed conscious just long enough to see you,' Jūshirō fell silent as he sat down next to Kurosaki. Stories of people's pets waiting until the morning to see their masters before dying flashed through his weary mind, and he almost sighed. But Kuchiki and Kurosaki weren't master and pet, they were more equal than most people could ever hope to be. Thoughts continuing to drift, he thought about how similar to _that_ incident the accident today had been, and the still fresh pain of Kaien's death made him close his eyes in order to retain an appearance of calm. If he too began crying silently like Kurosaki, even though the teenager was trying so hard to stop the tears . . . if that happened, then no one would be there to support the boy who, for the second time, had had Kuchiki taken away from him.

Looking up now, Ukitake felt fresh hurt as he gazed upon the petite girl's deathly pale form. She'd been in a coma before, but that had only been for a few hours. This was something completely different, and from what the paramedic had said . . . the possibility of her waking was so small. But she would, because she was sensitive enough to know just how much those around her would suffer if she was gone forever. And having experienced the loss she herself had felt when Kaien had died, there was no way she'd push that upon anyone else. Not unless there was absolutely no other way, no other resolution.

_Is it kind to keep her in this state of suspended reality? People in comas mostly have to go on life support . . . is that kind to Kuchiki? What if years pass and she still doesn't wake? Her muscles will lose their strength . . . she'll be so weak if she doesn't wake up in a relatively short period of time, _all of the anguished thoughts passed through both Ukitake and Ichigo's minds.

And then they looked away from Rukia's still form, and met each other's gazes, one a kind green, the other a warm brown, and slight, almost non-existent smiles brightened their dark and gloomy expressions.

'She's not weak,'

'No, she's stronger than you'd ever think after just looking at her,'

'So . . . think she's going to wake up someday?'

'Without a doubt,'

'Me too,'

* * *

><p><em>A perfect white room broken only by splashes of a pale, icy blue. A trembling girl, crying softly, the faintest smile on her pale face, a red ribbon wrapped around her arm. A quietly graceful woman with lavender hair and dark blue gaze, smiling in a tragic, happy way, closing her eyes in an emotion akin to relief. All was quiet, the serenity occasionally broken by the strangely loud sound a single tear splashing onto the ground.<em>

The ribbon is slipping and fraying, _the teenager glanced down at the crimson curling along her arm expressionlessly, _I wonder if that means I'm dying.

'_Well done,' the woman spoke suddenly, an odd happiness colouring her usually cool tone, 'Well done,' leaning forwards, she reached out to touch Rukia's curled fingers, 'You've finally acknowledged the whole truth. The truth you forgot once, and then almost forgot again,'_

'_I've lost everything,' indigo eyes blinking, long lashes glistening with tears, Rukia met the lady's gaze, 'I'm . . . I'm in a coma, aren't I? I'm in a coma . . . in Karakura General Hospital. Because of a car crash,' there was some sort of disbelief in her tone, but mostly it was filled with calm understanding, 'And, from the last day of April, three months have passed, and it's the end of July . . . and it's the holidays. But . . . like it is with Ukitake, no one knows exactly how my condition works. It's more like I've been frozen in time, than gone into a coma . . . I haven't been changing much at all,'_

'_That's right,' the woman smiled encouragingly, willing her to keep talking, for just a short while longer, to finish what she'd started, as this was the only chance she'd ever get to do so, 'And who am I?'_

'_You're . . .' Rukia curled her fingers around the lady's hands, 'Just an image my mind created in order to get me to face those memories. To bring all of those thoughts back to my mind . . . because that was the only way I'd ever be able to wake up, isn't it? I had to remember what I'd already once forgotten,' she laughed lightly, 'But still, you have a name too, don't you?' the young woman's dark blue eyes widened in surprise, but the teenager didn't stop talking, meeting her gaze instead, 'It's Sode no Shirayuki,'_

_Standing, Sode no Shirayuki leant forwards and embraced Rukia gently. As she pulled away, her form began to fade, slowly disappearing into a flurry of fresh white snow. And she spoke one last time, 'You see, Kuchiki Rukia, everything you've said is true . . . and _now_ it's time for you to wake up, be released from the dream . . . wake up and face reality,'_

_With a soft, fond laugh, the timelessly graceful woman vanished into the light rain of snow that had begun to fall from nowhere, slowly beginning to cover the tidy white furniture, landing lightly on the raven black hair of the still seated teenager._

'_Yes . . . you're right. Thank you so much,' standing slowly, Rukia turned her face to the sky, feeling the tiny snowflakes touching her cheeks. She didn't even notice when the blood red ribbon around her arm unravelled into countless threads, slipping from her pale skin, falling to the ground in a shower of bright colour . . . 'It's time for me to open my eyes . . . time for me to return to my life,'_

_Taking a deep breath, the petite girl focused her whole mind onto a single cool, calm thought._

Kuchiki Rukia, wake up.

_She opened her eyes._

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<p>

And what do you think of it? As the name of this chapter suggests, that was the end, but you see, because this is how things often seem to turn out for me, I have the power to make an _epilogue . . . _isn't that amazing?  
>So, should Rukia get to wake up and resume her life with Ichigo and the others?<p>

Anyhow, if you read this far, thanks so much! I'm really happy and I'd love to hear what you thought!


	20. Epilogue: Red Ribboned Truth

_Epilogue: Red Ribboned Truth_

Deep violet eyes opened ever so slowly, squinting slightly at the bright light filtering through the thin curtains covering the window. She was in a pristine white room, harsher than she liked, and she was lying on a neat white hospital bed.

_I hate hospitals . . . after all, who wouldn't after spending a whole six months trapped in one . . . _

She didn't try to turn her head, instead she just kept staring at the fluorescent tubes in the light above her on that plain ceiling, wondering why they needed to be on when it was clearly still daytime.

_Oh how unexpected my life has been . . . _the thought filtered through her calm mind, barely making her blink . . . _I began at an orphanage, where I made my first friend, Abarai Renji. Then I went to a boarding school with him, and we kept on struggling forwards. Kuchiki Byakuya adopted me, staying true to the promise he made to my sister, his wife. I came to Karakura Town, to the Kuchiki Estate, and I met Ukitake Jūshirō and his cheeky ward, Shiba Kaien. We became friends too, and we played and lived our lives in such a carefree way, even Ukitake. I painted a lot during that time, slowly increasing my skills._

_Later, though, Kaien left to study, both in Kyoto and in Tokyo, and I met Kurosaki Ichigo, a strange guy with bright orange hair, who looked astonishingly similar to Kaien. Ichigo became someone I knew well and trusted completely, and, half a year later, when I was sixteen, we got news that Kaien was coming home. Ukitake and I went to the airport to greet him, and I was oh so excited, having not seen him in so long and I wanted to have him meet Ichigo that night, just to see their reactions. _

_But, when Kaien was driving us home, the Metastacia truck hit us and all of a sudden we were in a car crash. Kaien died that night, in my arms, and then I got amnesia, or suppressed memory syndrome. And from then on, I couldn't remember that my best friend was dead, that I'd once been a painter, that I knew Kurosaki Ichigo, or even the crash itself. _

_For half a year after that, I was in hospital, recovering. Then, for the same amount of time, I had to stay quietly in the Kuchiki Mansion, keeping out of the way, staying secluded and 'safe'. But all of a sudden, they sent me to Karakura High School, and I once again met Ichigo. Our relationship was completely different, and I even hated him for what he said and did._

_Still, when things continued onwards, I remembered him, and I realised that I could paint, and had painted in the past. It was like meeting someone for the first time again, even though I could recall everything about him . . . even his birthday. The happy, carefree times came again and for a while everything was just about as perfect as you'd get, living in reality._

_But at the end of that single month, we went for a drive around town. Ukitake, Ichigo and I. Ichigo was driving but at the beginning I didn't see how similar everything was to the last time I'd been travelling in a car before a crash. When I saw the truck, it was just a parallel of before, and I didn't move to warn him at all. However, somehow I changed the canon and I took Ichigo's place in the front of the car._

_So, while Ukitake was suffering from his illness attack, and Ichigo stood with a broken arm and other bloody wounds, I fell into a coma, also cut and bruised. Once again, I lost my memory of what had happened. But still, I saved them, that time, because I'd always known Ichigo wouldn't be brave enough to spin the wheel hard enough. Sometimes you've got to be a little reckless to greet a better future, even if you're not sure how things will turn out in the long run._

_Another strange thing is that I vehemently swore that I'd never give my life up for Ichigo, even if it was just myself covering for a figure of speech. In the end I almost did, and I guess that's just the way life is, always twirling and carrying you in directions you can hardly ever predict. It's a dangerous, frightening and inevitable thing, but somehow, it makes life all the more incredible and exciting too . . . _

_And so now, after three months of nothing, I faced everything, with the help of my own mind, which took the form of the beautiful Sode no Shirayuki, and I was able to wake up. All of the memories are back to where they should be, and I can do things I couldn't before._

_Like say a proper farewell to Kaien, even though I know his heart lives on within me, within Ukitake, within the heats of everyone who met him._

_Well . . . that's the story of my life so far, and although I can't help but wonder if my past will repeat itself in a canon once again, I want to be a part of everyone's lives again. Which leaves the question of why I keep talking to myself in my head instead of trying to properly sort everything out. Because if they all think I'm still asleep . . . it'd be rather sad, I think, and not to mention rather amusing too. So right about now, I think I'll end this frozen state that appears to have kept my body the same way as it was before the crash. How odd . . . maybe, like Ukitake, I'm some sort of medical anomaly that will never be solved. After all, when people wake from comas, they're generally not physically fit anymore, no matter what some movies try to tell you . . . and they also usually have tubes down their throats . . ._

* * *

><p>'I hate hospitals,' Rukia spoke in a voice that sounded a little crackly and rough from disuse, but a voice none the less. She continued to look at the roof, feeling the cold receding from her body, and her fingers, resting on top of the grey blue blanket, twitched slightly. She was quite glad no one had stuck a tube down <em>her<em> throat, and also that she didn't seem to be connected to any annoying machines except one measuring her heart beat.

There was a moment's silence, and then someone in the room sighed loudly, but they didn't move to see who'd actually spoken, which was kind of odd.

__I can only assume that whoever just sighed – I think it's Ichigo – has imagined me saying things so often that they can't believe that it's true, __talking mentally, _again_, Rukia repressed the urge to sigh herself. Because exasperated as she was with the orange haired teenager, it wasn't really fair, as she could imagine the suffering she'd unintentionally put everyone through. 'Everyone' being Ukitake and Ichigo, because she wasn't sure about Byakuya. It was kind of hard to tell what that man was thinking . . .

'You could at least say something like _well, __it__'__s __okay __because __we__'__ll __be __leaving __soon_,' trying again, and struggling to keep her voice impassive, Rukia tried to sit up, only to find that the blankets were tucked in quite tightly. Then again, she'd heard of people who had sporadic bursts of violent movement while in comas, so it was understandable. Still . . . it was a little hard to breathe deeply, let alone move.

'At times like this, I could seriously send my imagination to hell,' speaking conversationally, but still obviously thinking no one was actually saying what he was hearing, Ichigo reached up to scratch his head. The teenager was sitting a couple of metres away with his back to her, on one of the chairs around the table in the private hospital room they were in.

'At times like this, I could seriously send _you_ to hell,' putting on a purposefully sweet tone now, Rukia wondered just how long they'd keep talking to each other before he'd click. Probably a very long, long time . . .

'You know, that's a rather rude thing to say,' it sounded like he was frowning, 'And I can't believe I imagined you saying that to me, it seems kind of . . . masochistic. You know, the whole liking and inviting misery thing. I can't believe it . . . I didn't really imagine that-,'

Cutting him off before he began to ramble on about who knew what, Rukia spoke again, 'Yeah, well as much as I'd like to continue being _sadistic_,' explaining like he had what she meant by using the word, she continued, 'You know, being cruel for fun. Anyway, as much as this was interesting in my brand new and soon to be terminated study of an emotionally strained Kurosaki Ichigo, I think if I don't actually spell things out for you, then we'll be here all day,' hurrying on as it was obvious he was about to say something else, she almost chuckled mockingly, 'Just come over here, you fool,'

Ichigo seemed to pause, considering her words, and she honestly thought he wasn't going to come, but then he stood up, straightening out his crumpled shirt, and he turned to face the hospital bed, 'Why? Looking at you is kind of depressing,'

'You're insensitive to say something like that right in from of the person you're talking about,' putting all of her strength into the action, Rukia turned her head and smiled slightly, 'Idiot,'

Ichigo looked like he'd seen a ghost, and he rather obviously pinched himself, nails leaving crescent shaped marks on his arm, 'Rukia? Are you seriously awake? Is this for real? What the hell is going on? I've lost it, haven't I? Oh dear . . .'

Pushing with all of her might, Rukia shifted the constricting blankets down a little and then she struggled to pull herself up into a sitting position, 'Care to help?'

Not needing another moment to think about anything, the orange haired teenager rushed over and, instead of helping, he hugged her instead, 'I guess this time I wasn't imaging anything,'

'Well unless we both are, then no, this is completely reality. No lies, just the truth,' she put a hand on his back, squeezing tightly, 'Thank you for waiting,'

He laughed lightheadedly, pulling back to stare at her, and loosening the blankets at the same time, 'I could've waited forever, seriously, Rukia,'

Her smile deepened, but she shook her head slowly, 'There's no such thing as forever,'

'Really?' nodding in agreement, Ichigo smiled too, 'Then I guess we'll just have to pretend,'

Rukia chuckled at his sentiment before blinking in surprise as the door opened and both Ukitake and her Nii-sama walked into the room, 'Oh!' she attempted to bow, but the covers still prevented that severe a motion, 'Long time no see,'

The set phrase sounded a little odd but she couldn't think of anything else to say, especially since Byakuya was in the room too, watching her with his expressionless slate grey gaze. She smiled hesitantly, suddenly very nervous as to what their reactions would be.

'Kuchiki!' Jūshirō exclaimed loudly seconds before he rushed over and enveloped her in a careful embrace, 'It's very good to see you again, I'm so happy!' he coughed and drew away quickly, drawing out a handkerchief and covering his mouth.

Although he hid it well, Rukia could still tell there was blood on that cloth, 'Ukitake . . .' she grimace slightly, 'People aren't supposed to cough up blood if they're happy,'

'Oh but I am,' looking rather weak, and sounding it too, the white haired man moved over and sat heavily in one of the chairs, the one which Ichigo had been seated in previously, 'Trust me, Kuchiki,'

'Hey would you look at that, she's finally awake,' a cynical voice sounded seconds before the rest of the Kurosaki family walked through the door. Yuzu and Isshin were, unsurprisingly, crying their eyes out as they stared at her happily.

'What's going on-,' Rukia didn't get to finish her surprised question, when someone else barged into the room, 'Ah! Renji!'

'What the hell did you think you were doing getting all beat up like that?' the red headed man was shouting, earning himself quite a few glares, 'Rukia-,' this time it was Abarai who was cut off as he received a well-aimed punch to the guts, 'Urgh,'

'She just woke up! Be more considerate! There's no point in you even coming here from Tokyo if I keep having to beat _you_ up! Just stay away from the injured patient! You can't just appear for no reason! Although it looks like you popped in for absolutely nothing but to make a nuisance of yourself!' Karin, who didn't seem to have a problem dealing with certain such nuisances, finished her short lecture before turning to her father, 'Hiyah!'

Seconds later, both Isshin and Renji were knocked out and the black haired girl was covering her sister's eyes, 'Alright,' she frowned ferociously, 'Kuchiki Byakuya, yes I'm talking to _you . . ._ **don't** look,'

Rukia wondered what on earth was going on and then she suddenly found a crimson ribbon being pressed into her hand. As she looked up, she saw a grinning Ichigo right before he kissed her.

And, after everything, it wasn't like she _wasn't_ going to kiss him back.

* * *

><p><em>What would you do if the person who'd become your world, was taken away from you forever, and the guy you thought hated you with everything he had, loved you more than anything else? But what if that was all wrong anyway? And while everyone was living in reality, you were living in a dream . . .<em>

* * *

><p>Well, ever since I first met him, Shiba Kaien became my world, my everything, and when he died, it caused the first loss of my most painful memories, the ones which caused my darkest nightmares. But now, with all of those recollections in place, I can say goodbye to that young man, that crazy guy who was almost like a brother but completely different at the same time . . . I can say farewell properly, and I'll never again forget how happy I felt when I was by his side.<p>

And the guy who hated me? He didn't exist at all, because despite whatever Kurosaki Ichigo tried to make me believe, even if it was supposedly for my own benefit, he still loved me. So, in a way, that's completely and utterly an untruth.

Oh, so what was all wrong . . . ? Absolutely nothing, things just have a habit of happening in my life the way I least expect, but in the end, everything always turns out much the same. And while that can cause agony, sadness and even anger, it's inevitable, and it's far better to continue to move onwards, accepting those painful things and thanking those you have around you.

And reality . . . because I'm somehow in a safe and secure dream? Oh no, a dream is just about the last place I am right about now. I'm most definitely awake and that 'dream' was far less comforting than this reality. Certainly I still have times when Kaien is all I can think about, but Ichigo manages to cheer me up . . . either that or get all depressed with me, which isn't something he should do . . . but anyway, with all of these caring people around me, how can I possibly say I'm separated from reality? And yes, Nii-sama, I know you care too, just in case you're wondering.

All in all, the past is the past, the future is an indefinite amount of possibilities, and there is no such thing as forever. But for now . . . all we can do is continue forging ahead, helped along with those around us as they tease, laugh, cry and live out their lives . . . just like we're all meant to . . . yep, just like we will.


End file.
